I am coming back to Hata..

Nov 26

Woke up at 4.30 am, had some tots of P, on whether she is on right track or not, following veda could just be another conditioning. Immediately a tot came, you r just trying to lower her valuation, so u feel better. Actually, you never had her approval, so stop trying to gain it back. I am truly a seeker of approval. No wonder S affected me previously cos she is the one staff that does not approve of me.

Suria Namaskara was quite effortless. I got into swing by second cycle. I was giggling, feeling subtle body. Even the stress on my knee when I stretched my hand to the floor is reduced considerably.

Breathing meditation was good. Shakti and shambavi was good too. Surka kriya was lovely and I can now even sense the separate workings of each lung.

Ninth letter
U have also begun to remove ur own defences and because of this, u will find that - at last - u r achieving true self esteem and peace of mind. This new understanding of the feelings of others will inspire in u a great respect for them. U will want to deal with them justly, giving them their dues, never wanting to take advantage of their good-nature, never wanting to put them down, reduce their self esteem, always ready to encourage and pick them up when they're in pain - physical or emotional.
U will find yourself doing these things for yourself too. U will become your own counsellor, support, healer.
U will see each person, no matter what their status, as of equal basic reality as ur own. Therefore, u will no longer feel inadequate in any situation, because u have move forward in the strength and wisdom drawn Divine Consciousness, and recognise that u, too, have equal rights with everyone else.

Each time, u conquer ego in yourself, it becomes that much easier to relate to others because u are reaching an understanding of the function of ego in all people. As time passes and you are gradually released from the grip of ur ego-drive, u will find that, more and more, u can listen to others with soul empathy and love. If they behave in a way which would have hurt or offended u previously, u will feel the welling up of laughter instead. U will then know that ur soul is in direct contact with Divine Consciousness - for Its natural state is that of laughter. 

Soul
Amen. Another affirmation that I am on the rights track. 

(Nov 30 _ I didn't laugh when S was 'attacking' me yesterday. At the moment, I just wanted to drop it)