Rhythms in our live...

Nov 21 eve
Ninth letter
Everyone is subject to rhythms in their lives. Everyone goes through the high periods when an inflow of blessedness brings u all the things u have wanted and u r on a peak of human happiness and success.  U rejoice! Then comes the time u suddenly the rhythm of life changes, resources dry up, relationship becomes difficult and precarious, ur career takes a downward turn, obstacles occur which keep u static for a long time. U may ask yourself what u have done wrong. previously, u worked very successfully within the law of existence but now there are daily challenges and nothing u think or do is truly alleviating the stress of ur daily life.

When if these times comes upon u - be still and quiet within ur heart and mind - and know that u r still drawing life and direction from divine consciousness, despite appearances to the contrary, despite the superficial agonies. At these times, it is essential to withdraw and take stocks of the way in which u may have slipped in consciousness during ur up times and strengthen ur dependence on divine consciousness.
Without these dark periods of depression,u would not grow in spiritual stature. They have a special message for u so do not give way to despair and bitterness. Although u may feel fragile, this is ur winter season of self discovery and inner renewal which will ultimately prove to be of greater blessing than ever were ur 'peak periods'.  Take heart and do not lose faith.  Hold on patiently until winter gradually yields to ur spiritual spring again.

Soul
Amen. My winter period is nearly over.

I took a tumble when I took over the 2nd company in Feb 2012. Things starts to come down in mid June...and alas I finally resigned in end July and last day in September. Meanwhile, Z also asked for break up in early July, we got back for awhile and broke off in late September...and then I slacked in my Isha practices and couldn't seem to go back on track for hata..

Father just now I tot of z. miss him still. But I recalled my osho card of clinging to the past. Not sure why but both P and M also said I should continue with z. Father, he is not that into me. A tot came. If he is not, why u r still together after two years.

Father, hold me back. It is over.

My osho card is receptivity. Not sure. Two persons with the same msg, that I self-sabotage and asked me to go back to Z.

Sadhguru
Desire is just an anxiety to enhance oneself. Why do u need to enhance yourselves?  It is because somewhere there is a strong and constant feeling of inadequacy. So man has to enhance himself with activity. He has to do something. So desire is just that.

The energy which u call life, is trying to find its original state of unboundedness. therefore it desires. But because u r unconscious, u keep desiring things and activities, this and that. With much experiences in life, u know that if u satisfy one desire, the next one is ready to spring up. Ur desire will never be satisfied with anything. It does not matter how much u do or gather, it can't take u to the unbounded.

Fundamentally it is a spiritual process. Unfortunately it is finding an unconscious expression.

Soul
Suddenly it occurred to me why I want to break off with z. It is fear. I m loving him day by day, but he holds back his feeling. The more I prolonged, the greater the hurt. It is nearly two years. If he still holds back, there is no possibility of him changing his mind.
I don't want to be in a losing end. Better ends before I lose all.

Sadhguru said if we remember we r mortal, then we r transformed. We becomes simple. We don't complicate matters.

I guess if I know I m going to die, I just lived the moment but I know I m going to live, so I hope I got other chances of starting a committed relationship. My mantra now is to know I can love again. I can only do so by releasing him. The first step is let go. 

A tot came, he is my cosmic lesson, the card of faith. So, to learn faith. Well, I stood by for two years.

Father, I can type using the screen. It is faster cos there is auto spelling. I can lose my BB now. Amen.  This is a miracle by itself. I never tot I can let go of BB.