Laughing at my challenges of Z...

Nov 23
Father, I woke up at 7 am cos not working. Slept more. Didn't do hata. I commit to 4 times. So, one day rest.
My nose was really blocked, so difficult to do surka kriya. But I persevere n focus till I got violet flames. Today laughed loads during resting time.

Tot of z, why can't I have a norm boyfriend that doesn't trigger my fear. Then I laughed, cos if normal, my fear cannot find expression, it will be suppressed even more and aggravate my RA problem. So, perfect boyfriend for me. I can now see my fear. Z is just the tool to bring it out, hence my cosmic lessons, Faith.

Like Sadhguru said only in suffering, we learn. I m really glad. Amen.

No more resentment on Z. I now knew, it is the antidote to RA. It brings my fear outside instead of being inside the body.

I m still not sure if I go back. But its ok to ask if he still with me. I just messaged him. Let's see.

Father, Z has read my msg but didn't reply. The old me would have reacted but new me is not bothered. I can see my fear, so if there is no reason to confront it, I m fine.

I just had a long conversation with SL, I m glad our friendship is intact. I also accepted the role of being guide for pre samyama. And I also got the place booked. I just do what is needed. Amen