I still feel hurt..about Z

Nov 20 aft

Father, P asked me about my on-off with Z. I said it is off. She asked why? I said I wanted him to commit but he doesn't want to. She said since I don't want to have a family why the need for commitment. I replied I wanted a commitment cos I am committed. She said why can't I be with Z while waiting for another guy. I said I can't. I can't scout while with Z.

She said that the reason why Z cannot 'open' our rship is because he doesn't want to marry me. He doesn't want to marry me because he wants a family and I don't. Father, it did hurt bit when she said that. But I deserve and want a committed rship eventhough I don't want children. So, I must make the first move.

I missed him last week, but now I am better. I am also surprised I can share with P without feeling judged. Amen.