Nov 16 eve
Father, I finally realised why I need Z to open up our rship. It is because I knew that if he open us up, it means he is committed to us. Cos I know he is the type that will stay on. That is why I chose him.
Yea, he keep on saying he doesn't want commitment but we been together for nearly 2 years. I love him and I don't want to go in deeper ... Never ending losss. I felt unsafe in such a rship.
I prayed for guidance. Z is afraid of rship and I am afraid of life. Z's Seven of Spades is my Cosmic Lesson card. There is a reason for him to be in my life. My RA is due to over-reactive defense mechanism as a result of fear.
I now admit I don't feel safe. Father, let me learn this lesson. Guide me.
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