Ascendant in Gemini

Oct 2 aft

Father, feels good. A sense of contentment. Just now Shoonya, so deep rest.

My main vocabulary is Rejection. Truly need to look at that.
Thats my Seven of Clubs working overtime.

Ascendant in Gemini
Achilles heel
If u don't stay in touch with the natural intellectual excitement of your own identity and instead give in to ur fears of how other people might see u, u may end up constantly blocking the expression of ur own point of view. This would suppress meaningful communication and ur innate way of being in the world. Then u lose ur confidence in ur ability to share ur multidimensional personality with others.

For example u may stop discussing ur ideas and the new pieces of information that comes ur way out of fear that others will think you're too philosophical or trying to be a know-it-all.  However if u allow this to happen, then instead of using the power of ur inborn gift of sharing ideas with others, u turn it inward against urself where it becomes an impediment. When all that mental energy is not expressed, it implodes and blocks the flow of ur own vital energy.

Soul
Just shared humanmetrics with sisters. Finally opening up to my family after nearing 50. Nearly half a lifetime has past. I feel now I m just beginning.

Just know the colleague brush me off. I felt 'rejection'. I begin to have defensive tots. It is not important. It may be true she is like that but what's important is how I feel, how I got affected.

Sun in Cancer and Mercury in Cancer at work. Won't let it get to me. Don't take anything personally. To her, it could be a no response is good response.

Ascendant in Gemini
Self actualisation
When u actively express ur natural gifts by extending urself in ways that stimulate the excitement of exchanging information and increasing social interaction, u will truly begin to experience urself as a powerful cause in ur own life instead of living in fear of others' perception.

Soul
Truly issue is on how others see me. No wonder I m private; out of fear.

I changed much in work rship with ACIM. Been wondering whether I should go back on it. Do the lesson again.

Ascendant in Gemini
U have an incredible ability to teach and to supply information that can help another see a more positive view of life.
U are uniquely able to inspire others to see how higher laws operates in their life. U are also aware when they are lacking faith and can uplift their spirits so they believe in a brighter tomorrow.
U are gifted in ur ability to get information circulating in society.




Oct 23
Soul
Of late, I have open up. Focus on more being myself instead of worrying how others view me.
Guess thats why I was so hurt when L gave me such an abusive feedback; telling me I showoff and etc. In reality, I only did that as part of my role as Sathsang guide; following the sathsang process and also to inspire others.

Well, I am glad, I finally overcomed her. She no longer dictate me.
I knew that what she said about me is not true.
It was me ignoring her that is activating her to attack me.
Her feedback on me is not true.
I saw L that day, she ignore me. I am just normal. She no longer part of my life.