Lunar in Scorpio - give only when I want felt is so freeing

Oct 13
Woke up feeling cold and fresh at around 3 plus am. Savour the moment and then woke up upon alarm at 3.52 am.

Did a couple of neck and shoulder tensing and releases last night. It does help to relax.

My right toes are hurting. It hurt when I walk yesterday but I ignored it.
Did Bhuta Shuddi and followed by Cat stretch. Angarmadhana was good. These days the squatting postures has improved. Doing the there cycle of pushing out legs is no longer strenuous.
Breathing was good.
Shakti was good too. Still sitting for whole session without break and 150 Kapala Bhakti cycle. There were little tots.
Shambavi was good too. Sat for a longer period.

A tot came to do those guided meditation that was downloaded after the Sannidi pooja. This will then complete the session.
For the first time able to do guided meditation so well yesterday. Shared with S and she said Dhynalinga yantra was there too. So now not sure, will wait till next Sathsang.
This week got yogaasanas practice.

Lunar in Scorpio
As long as u tot u needed others to support u, u unknowingly held urself down by having opportunists around u, feeding off ur energy. This is why so often u have been disappointed in human nature. When u feel u are buying favours from others rather than simply giving freely without strings attached, u deprive those around you of giving of their own volition and love when u need their help
By not giving freely, u robbed urself of the opportunity to experience the law of cause and effect in a positive way. By learning to give freely and without ulterior motives, u are letting go of the energy of manipulation. U can spend so much time manipulating the lives of those around u that u become caught up in this mode of expression thereby stunting ur own growth.
 As u release this negative energy, u realise that just because people travel on their own separate paths doesn't mean they can't care about and support one another. U start to understand that if others truly care about u, they will be there when u need them, and if they are not, then maybe they don't care as much as they say or as u think they do. This helps to sort out the people who really care about u from those who don't, and also broadens ur awareness of the many different ways people shoe they care.

When u reach this awareness, u will operate from a sense of ur full power and there will be no holding back.

Soul
Amen. Truly understand Life time challenge of Seven of Hearts.

Father, when I was a Sathsang guide I used to think some core team doesn't care about me cos most time they didn't come for Sathsang and  not willing to share load being a guide.
 Now, its clear to me its not that they don't care about me, they just don't care for Sathsang. Sathsang is not important to them, not I am not important to them. In general they only come when they have to conduct meet, or etc, not because they want to.

Can see this more clearly now that I m no longer the guide and they still no show.