Faced rejection but no longer taking it personally

Sept 18 aft

Started the day with a heated mail from Pa.

At first I was startled by his response, then I calmed down. Moments later I can see that he is affected by Ashram, not me. This is not a personal 'rejection' of me. He is having challenging period in ashram..he just 'took it out on me;, he lost his control.
Then I replied cordially and apologised for putting him in such difficult predicament. I also said that I know he is only doing us a favour and if he knows the official person, please redirect us.
Moments later he replied with nice email. I think he felt 'bad' for 'exploding'. I replied nicely too.
Later he messaged me on whatsapp. So the date is decided to Oct 3 and 4.

Father, finally can overcome my Inner Child of seeking validation, of taking everything personally.
Later spoke to S, she too said that Pa's mail to me was not 'ordinary' and she agrees with me that being in the ashram is not easy.


My 52-Day Period Card
The Ace of Hearts

The Ace of Hearts represents a desire for affection or love that is the stimulus that causes new relationships to be created. For this reason, it can indicate a new love affair or the birth of a child. Though influenced by each planetary period in a specific and unique way, this creative love energy always represents an awakening of love or passion in one's heart.

On a deeper level, the Ace of Hearts, being the very first card in the deck, represents a search for something inside of our self. Perhaps it is the search for self-identity or for those things that help us to love who we are unconditionally. In order to love ourselves, we often find someone to love who reflects back to us what we are seeking within. This is why the Ace of Hearts can represent a new relationship beginning.

Soul
Just yesterday I was pondering that sannidhi will arrive in my Venus period.
And true enough, the date is now set early Oct.
Payment not made yet, but we work towards the date.
Everything falling into place.
As I told Pa, i learned in Kailash, whatever meant to happen, will happen.
Amen.

Also, the planning for sannidhi has healed my view of Y and Z. Both of them I can see that they are now just 'friends'. There is no more the past.
Just now I can even 'laugh' at Z.
As for Y, now that I have a Ten of Clubs, can see why his arranged marriage happens. All is meant to be.
As for me..alas, I found my  home.

Today having lunch with my staff P, hearing  him talking and 'digesting' and yet there is a sense of contentment in me. Just connecting with the silence in me.