Lunar in Scorpio - valuing the goodnes in me

Oct 13 aft
Not sure why but somehow feeling restless since this late morning.
The day started well and I was fresh and sadhana was good. What's going on here
Today card is Three of Diamonds in Mercury

Took my weekly Osho tarot card which talks about:
1. Issue - Burden
2. Internal influence
3. External - thunderbolt
4. What's needed - breakthrough
5. Resolution - projection

My shoulder is definitely heavy since yesterday evening. Not sure why.
Yesterday was good. Y was behind me in the hall and I was fine. I accepted we are now just friends.
So what's bothering me.
I admit that a part of me still wish for a partner on this path. But knowing the price to pay, I been thinking best to walk alone. Also not keen to go through another drama.

Lunar in Scorpio
Unconscious expression
Its important for you to recognise  the good within urself because this eclipse rules the energy of destruction, and until u see the spark of good within u, u will continue on a self-destructive path. U don't see ur own value until someone else reflects it. U are here to learn ur value as a human being, to society and to others.

Soul
Can't relate to this.

Lunar in Scorpio
U are learning the power of joint manifestation. By intertwining ur energies with another, u are learning how to trust and be trusted.
If u do not trust others, unconsciously u are telling urself that they have the power to affect ur life and u give them power over u. Then u recognise that u can relate with those around u without letting their actions affect u to the point where u are incapable of handling any situations. 
Through this u learn to trust ur own integrity and internal strength enough to know that u can rise above any depth, to any height u choose. U are the energy of the scorpion transforming itself to the eagle and then to the Phoenix.

Soul
Can relate on the trust. Can relate bit on the energy of transformation. My life is transformed from material to spiritual base.

Transpersonal
U are using ur power to transform the consciousness of humankind by removing old subsconcious patterns that hold down the evolution of the individual soul as well as to the evolution of planetary consciousness.
Ur ability to see through the core of any situation can expose the diseases that prohibits a healthy body, mind or spirit and the result is purifying and healing.
On the highest level, u are the psychic healers and spiritual regenerators, reconnecting the minds of ur fellow beings to a magnetic rship with the whole.

Soul
Yes. I m removing my old subsconcious. On others, I assist when asked.