INFJ - difficulty in saying no to friends

Sept 26 aft 1

INFJ By Dr. A.J. Drenth
INFJs commonly experience a conflict in values between their Ni and Fe. For example, they may be asked by a friend or relative to donate to a cause they don’t believe in. This puts them in the difficult position of deciding between honoring their own perspectives (Ni) or maintaining the harmony of the relationship (Fe). Since INFJs can having difficulty saying no, they will often opt to oblige others, even while inwardly regretting doing so.

Soul
this is so true.
Just experienced it last week.
Alas, managed to break through and voice out my dissatisfaction with A. A then told S who in turn realised that we both making assumptions on each other. Amen

Now I realised why this week Resolution card.
Thunderbolt

The card shows a tower being burned, destroyed, blown apart. A man and a woman are leaping from it not because they want to, but because they have no choice. In the background is a transparent, meditating figure representing the witnessing consciousness. 

You might be feeling pretty shaky right now, as if the earth is rocking beneath your feet. Your sense of security is being challenged, and the natural tendency is to try to hold on to whatever you can. But this inner earthquake is both necessary and tremendously important - if you allow it, you will emerge from the wreckage stronger and more available for new experiences. 

After the fire, the earth is replenished; after the storm the air is clear. Try to watch the destruction with detachment, almost as if it were happening to somebody else. Say yes to the process by meeting it halfway.

Soul
Me telling A and later A told S unravel. It took me a few days before I can even told A.
With the disclosure, I too can see that I have an issue in asserting mutual satisfaction out of fear of losing validation, out of fear of maintaining false harmony, the Mars in Libra.
I jump on Wed
On Thurs, my tears fall and I become INFJ.
Amen

INFJ By Dr. A.J. Drenth
Because of the strength of their Fe, INFJs need to be careful not to abandon their Ni in the face of outward pressures. Since Ni is their best and most reliable compass for navigating life, when they lost track of it, INFJs can easily feel lost, restless, and frustrated. Hence, when it comes to decision-making, INFJs are wise to listen primarily to their own inner voice.
For INFJs, Ti is tertiary, and is used to logically scrutinize and hone their Fe judgments. Ti can help INFJs think more critically and analytically. It can serve as an aid and check to their Ni-Fe, helping them discern where their ideas might fit into existing categories and frameworks of knowledge.

As is true of other types, INFJs can be blinded to the degree to which their inferior function impacts their decisions and behavior. As discussed in my INFJ careers post, INFJs may be enticed by their inferior function, Extraverted Sensing (Se), to pursue careers for which they are ill-suited. Or relationally, they might pair off with an ESP in attempt to secure, even if unwittingly, what they are lacking and striving to find in themselves (i.e., Se). To avoid being subconsciously controlled by their inferior function, INFJs seeking self-knowledge and personal growth must work to understand the ways in which Se manifests in their personality.


Soul
Hence my inner journey, my sadhanas.