Sept 20
Had a peaceful time volunteering my services. I went early. Swept the floor, do registration. Just do the task. There is no fulfilment in the task nor the volunteering but there is joy in meeting friends, being with them.
Father, volunteering activities is a way for me to keep with my friends.
Earlier it was to keep the validation. Now I know its for like minded friends.
Very sure now that I m not into full volunteering but I m into ISHA family. So I m those who does volunteering for companionship.
Today swim was not good. But better than my expectation. My left shoulder feels bit painful in the first two lap. No singing today. Just bit of laughter. In the third lap, I was so contented in water. Then mind came in said don't want to stop, that's when I swallowed some water and panic swim to the pool side. Overall Okay. Didn't swim long as not to stretch the shoulder too much.
On my personal sensitivity. I can see now that I took everything happen in local ISHA as a personal reflection of me. I felt hurt because of myself.
Alas finally released the childhood compulsion of feeling rejected. No more.
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