Facing my karma in relationship (10)

Jan 21 Eve

Father, alas I also gave the website to F. I didn't want to share with her because I perceive that she will judge it.

The site is from my own insight and experience. But I did in the end cos I tot it was not nice to exclude her and also because I wanted to overcome my own feeling of not worthy. Guess the SS group doesn't think that highly of me. But I am fine. Like I said they are not my target audience.

And the thing that irks me is that instead of giving kudos for my writing, her great excitement was that I read WD before and tot I was his follower. Come on, even Sadhguru also cannot hold me, how can WD. That's arrogant of me, but never mind. Sadhguru was also arrogant too. For now, I can say I follow Sadhguru and Osho.

Anyway, I can't judge them cos I too didn't see my transformation. But it is happening inside me and now bubbling up. I need not justify my worthiness to be a Transformational Leader. Only those who are meant to be transformed by me will click with me.

When I read my connection with Z, it was so great but then I picked up the part that he was my Cosmic Lesson card and I was got bit pissed cos he have a better deal than me.

Then I did shoonya and samyama and I was laughing so much and a tot came. Your wish on "effortless love" is answered as ours is a connection of mutual connection venus, moon, mars for both life and spiritual and he is my Jupiter. It was such an effortless connection.

For the first time, I wanted to watch Eat, Pray and Love. When I read the book, I couldn't connect with the Love part and didn't want to watch it. Alas now I am ready for Love.

Of cos, now that I am awake, not that sure. Tot is slightly skewed, don't want to get myself affected. No no, my love life is effortless. This is a spring time of my life.