Resistant towards Destiny

Jan 3 Eve

Spoke to a friend about me wanting an answer on why I have resistance. Why am I still angry? Why do I still feel the enforced authority? I told her I got an Insight to read Walt Whitman poetry, but could not find in bookshop. I know I needed to push through the resistance cos RA is acting up, whenever I resist growth.

She brush it off and said its my mind working overtime. That's why I cannot find the answer is becos I am being analytical, not trusting the Universe. She says I have linked the pain with no growth. She says that our mind is limited and we cannot use it to help us spiritually. Spirituality is limitless.

Soul
I didn't like the preaching and cut it short. But I noted the part on not trusting Universe. I continued with my work. In the evening, a tot occurred to me to check out google. So, I did and amazingly got it at first try and even found the particular poem recommended by Natal Chart. I am pleased cos on the right track.
Father, U have always been with me. These days, while I skip the compulsive tots, I don't deny the strength of the mind. Infact, Sadhguru said that the mind is a powerful tool and we need to harness it before we can unleash it to full potential.

Osho
1. The Issue
The Creator
The King of Fire tells us that anything that we undertake now, with the understanding that comes from maturity, will bring enrichment to our own lives and to the lives of others. Using whatever skills u have, whatever u have learned from ur own life experience, it is time to express urself.

Soul
Another msg of involvement. Telling me to ignore my resistance and to proceed.

2. Internal influence that u r unable to see
The Fool
Moment to moment, with every step, the Fool leaves the past behind. Don't try to create a wall of knowledge around u. Whatsoever experience comes to u, let it happen and then go on dropping it. Go on cleaning ur mind continuously; go on dying to the past.
Your actions may appear foolish to others, or even to yourself, if u try to analyse it with a rational mind.

Soul
Father, why do I have to go thru all the drama in this path. I seem to go thru the hard way, putting loads of resistance, screaming unfairness, eventhough I knew its the right track. Its like a child, an immature one. Such contradiction to my mature self. Such irony, I who always take pride in my mental maturity is actually emotionally immature. From the BSP, Theetakhoon, guru Pooja to shakti to samyama to kanji, I have been crying and wailing like a child

Answer came; Jack of Club in Pluto for Destiny Card and Queen of Spade in Pluto for Ruling Card

Queen of Spades in Pluto for Ruling (Jack of Club in Result)
U r attempting to develop a sense of mastery from within and u r indeed asking for a lot. Self-mastery comes from inner knowledge and self control. It comes from controlling one's tots, attitudes, beliefs, words and actions guided by higher principles. It is knowing that u can have everything u want, not by changing the world, but by changing yourself.

It can be drudgery and hard labour and u probably be doing work that u find somewhat distasteful or tedious. Spades are work, and the Queen uses her work as Karma Yoga, a tool to purify her tots and emotions.
U will have to make some changes both within and outside of urself to achieve this goal and it will not always be easy.

Affirmation - I develop my capacity to transform my life by changing my beliefs, tots, ideas and concepts of the world. I become the master of my self.

Jack of Club as Result
U will achieve much more creativity and success in a mental field. This could mean success as a writer of some kind.
Affirmation - I achieve success as a writer or idea person in one of the mental fields. I revolutionise my thinking.

(Jan 30 - Father, I have finally embarked on my writing career. I have faced my Seven of Club in Saturn and now facing Seven of Spade in Cosmic Lesson and for the first time in 5 years, I am facing 52 days card of Seven of Heart. I am fine, cos I am ready. I know that I need to face the Seven of Spade before I can reach my dream of Queen of Spade)

Soul
Suddenly tot that if what I want is self-mastery, no wonder I keep on attracting situation that force me to master myself. And it is a real challenging and tiring to do it every time for my personality. I always take pride in not having to work. I deflate working and now I have to work double hard on myself. Working within is doubly hard than physical working outside.

Even worse is now I know I want to do writing that light up people's mind and that means the more I need to master myself, it become a Must have instead of Nice to have. Previously its for RA, but now for Writing.
So, it is real drudgery. Let me not feel guilty for feeling resentful at times. Let me emphatise with myself. Let me acknowledge that it is drudgery and at times, I really don't want to do it and I need not feel guilty, eg. the kanji incident in ashram, the bakshi hall. Let me accept that I would have resistance and its ok cos in the end, I will persevere. Let me be willing to let my resistance shows up. They needed a voice, otherwise, it will push authority again.
Father, amen.

Jack of Club in Pluto for Destiny (Nine of Diamond in Result)
Challenge is to make a conscious effort to achieve my goal to develop the creativity to be successful in a mental field of interest, perhaps as a writer or an initiation into higher knowledge. Challenge to deal with these creative, youthful and often immature energies of Jack of Clubs.

Affirmation. I transform myself to become more mentally creative and successful. To begin a new and better life on an intellectual level.

Nine of Diamond in Result
Completion of some values that we have been holding on, could also be work or a certain pursuit. This could be pursuit of some financial goal, some relationship or some other "thing" that is valued.
When u let go, we experience a feeling of freedom and exhilaration as we move on to the next level in our personal devt. Endings are only disappointments to those who are not conscious of what is really going on in their life and who have no faith in life or love.

Affirmation - I learn to release financial worries and to flow with the cycle of abundance in my life. I learn to give things away.

Soul
I asked why others doesn't have my issue of conflict. Answer came, they don't even know what's their destiny, so cannot experience the conflict within and without.
For me, I know what's my destiny and the path to go, but I faced such conflict.

A tot just came. We generally faced the Ruling Card's Pluto challenge before we can meet Destiny Card's Pluto. Like for me, only when I have overcome some of the Ruling Pluto card challenge of Queen of Spade - self mastery, that I start to have result in Jack of Club - interest in writing.
Once that started, I faced the Destiny Card's challenge of becoming a successful Writer.

Once I overcome that, my whole value would changed and I would also be changing my career plan.