RA pain (4)

Dec 22
Woke up and saw my eldest nephew sleeping in my room. I just ignored and proceed with my practices. I finally open up after 2 years.

Father, this morning, I could not bend my right elbow for suria. It was painful and I start to cry. But I remember that u said pain is not to make me suffer but to make me aware. Then I proceed to do, and it was smooth after second cycle.
At first was thinking of shakti since I was having flu. But when I sat up after relax posture, my back was straight and breathe awareness was immediate and I felt so at ease. So, just proceed.

Osho
1. The Issue
Celebration
Life is a moment to celebrate, to enjoy. Make it fun, and then u will enter the temple. A little foolishness and a little wisdom is good, and the right combination makes u a buddha.
True celebration arises from a joy that is first experienced deep within and spills over into an overflow of song, dance and laughter and even tears of gratitude.
When u choose this card, it indicates that u r becoming more and more available and open to the many opportunities that are to celebrate in life and to spread this by contagion to others.

Soul
Well, not sure. But I know that I m enjoying this volunteering work to promote Isha. I also like the new friends.

(Jan 18 - these days, singing dancing just flows out. My body just moves to music.)

2. Internal Influence that u r unable to see
Exhaustion
A man who lives through conscience becomes hard. A man who lives through consciousness remains soft.
A man of conscience set up safe but unnatural routines for ourselves and by doing so, keep the chaotic and spontaneous from our doors. Life isn't a business to be managed, its a mystery to be lived. Its time to tear up the time card, break out of factory, and take a little trip into the unchartered.

Soul
Tot of hardness - same as joint hardness in RA. Living with conscience, that's definitely me. Internally I have changed but I still hold on to the old shell. I think the painful joints is a result of non-openness to changes.
I have made my move on IE intro and ebook.
My ebook looks good. I like it.

3. External influence of which u r aware
Comparison.
Comparison brings inferiority, superiority. Nobody is higher or lower. Everybody is incomparably unique.
The way to find out who u are is not by comparing yourself with others, but by looking to see whether u r fulfilling ur own potential in the best way u know how.

Soul
I am not. And I was comparing with people who has different destiny from me. RA is to jolt me into movement. I was lamenting why no outer transformation and here it was me who hold on and didn't want to move. My resistance resulted in RA. Thanks to R for his story on Deflation mode.

4. What is needed for resolution
Sorrow
This pain is not to make u sad, remember. The pain is just to make u more alert .. because people become alert only when the arrow goes deep into their heart and wounds them. Otherwise they don't become alert. When life is easy, comfortable, convenient, who ares? Who bothers to become alert? Crying in ur loneliness, in pain, those are occasions when, if u used them, u can become aware.
The arrow is hurting: it can be used.
The pain is not to make u miserable, the pain is to make u aware! And when u r aware, misery disappears.
Time of great sorrow have the potential to be times of great transformation. But in order for transformation to happen, we must go deep, to the very roots of our pain, experience it as it is, without blame or self-pity.

Soul
RA is because of resistance to outer transformation. My self control is my strength in managing emotion, but it also manages my action.

Transformation card
Resistance - Physical
1. You are set back by your humiliation on ur present level.
2. You are set back by your control on your present level
3. You are set back by your victimisation on ur present level.
4. If I don't understand it. I am not going to accept it.

Soul
All these is basically resistance to movement, to change, to transformations. No wonder RA worsen.

B. Insights;
Physical
Adventure - we going to explore and have fun
Abundance - I am going to give what I have
Efficiency - whatever I wish for now manifested quickly

Emotional
Resistance
1. You are set back your protection on ur present.
2. A world crisis moves all players onto depression
3. You forgot you were a radiantly beautiful cosmic miracle. You forgot everyone else was too!
4. Misery love company.
5. You use ur critical perception to draw forth perfection, not to tear it down.


Insights
1. You follow through on ur commitment.
2. Its easy for me to be myself at all times.
3. Wizard of love, your being casts spells of joy and lights
4. My personality is radiant with trust.
5. You do what's needed

Universal feedback
1. God's Will for me is complete happiness.

Message from Fairies
1. Your Wish is Granted!
What you've asked for is coming true.

Father, now the cause of RA materialises. I was resisting outer transformation. Others have resistance in inner transformation, but me on outer. We are the same.
Father, I will move.

A tot came, if I am able to let go of my resistance to outer transformation I will be able to help others to release their resistance on inner transformation.

5. The understanding.
Beyond Illusion
Behind the butterfly (outer world) is the face of consciousness, looking inward to that which is eternal. The space between the two eyes has opened, revealing the lotus of spiritual unfoldment and the rising sun of awareness.
Through the rising of the inner sun, meditation is born.

This card reminds us not to look outside for what is real, but to look within. When we focus on externals, we often get caught up in judgements - this is good, this is bad, I want this, I don't want that. These judgements keep us trapped in our illusions, our sleepiness, our old habits and patterns.
Drop ur opinionated mind and move inside. Then u can relax into ur own deepest truth, where the difference between dreams and reality is already known.