Uncertainty results in defense mechanism

Jan 16

Father, I just realised that P never compliments me. Everyone I met, from young to old says that I look great with new hair style. She just says that it look just cut and need some time to settle down. Then when I says that I want to do eye surgery to correct my vision because I look nicer without spec, she says she prefer me with spec, got more character.
Its funny, I never realised this before. I guess becos I don't seek compliment, I didn't realised it. On the contrary, she has told me of her displeasure of me not complimenting others for being smart.

Father, this morning tot that I want my health to be effortless. But now my focus is for my love life to be effortless. Coincidentally next 52 days starting from Feb, I have Seven of Heart - unconditional love for others, learning to accept others so can accept myself or betrayal. A few years ago, I got Seven of Heart as year card and I was betrayed and conned. Hope I got the msg right this time but no worry, I have Osho to guide me.

This morning I asked Father to guide me on RA. What's the cause and what I need to do. Surprisingly instead of answers, I got tots of how to promote Isha. Not sure.

Louise Hays.
Chronic disease
A refusal to change. Fear of the future. Not feeling safe
I am willing to change and to grow. I now create a safe, new future.

Affirmation
I love myself and therefore I live totally in the now, experiencing each moment as good and knowing that my future is bright and joyous and secure, for I am a beloved child of the Universe and the Universe lovingly takes care of me now and forever more.
When we can truly live from the loving space of the heart, approving of ourselves and trusting the Divine Power to provide for us, then peace and joy will fill our lives and illness and uncomfortable experiences will cease to be in our experience.

Soul
I already have joy and peace but illness is still in. I am not sure what the future holds. Perhaps m still fearful. I am now dealing with uncertainty.

Transformation Games
Setbacks
Emotional
1. You are set back your protection on ur present.

Physical
1. You are set back by your humiliation on ur present level
2. I forgive everyone
I forgive myself
I forgive all past experience
I am free!
3. You are set back by your control on your present level
4. You are set back by your victimisation on ur present level.
5. If I don't understand it. I am not going to accept it.
6. You use ur critical perception to draw forth perfection, not to tear it down.

Soul
All is talking about me being set back, not willing to change and grow.
I tot I have grown so much. What is it???
On public speaking. Sathsang is in. And I will take a course.
A tot came in, I resist on tweeting. But what's there to tweet. Who do I have to offer?? Who want to read!!

(Feb 1 - I am tweeting! I finally freed myself from the Past. I am enjoy friends of my past which I used to have some apprehension. Partly due to inferiority complex..insecurity. Now, it is all gone. Perhaps, its due to my confession to Z. It broke down the wall for me.)