Facing my karma in relationship (11)

Jan 21 Eve

Ace of Diamond's Pluto
Cosmic Lesson
Seven of Spade - card of Faith. To learn to TRUST and keep on going in spite of circumstances.

Z had so much failure in relationship and yet he still keep on going. He is my 'teacher'. Aiyoh, definitely a challenge there..guess a perfect tool for me.

I tot I never dare to approach love, and it will never happen. Alas, I have grown for myself. And it is bubbling.

I text him about his Salesman personality but there is no reply. The old me would try to ratify. The new me, said nope. On my terms, on MySelf. My love life is effortless and I no longer want the drama and romance.

(2 hours later. He replied and I called him. He told he saw the sms but was in meeting. He also said he called me immediately after shower. We chat for about an hour after that.)

Just read my Week Osho
If u r uncontrolled, then u r not nervous. U have no expectations for the future, u r not performing.

What is needed
Comparison
Comparison brings inferiority, superiority.
Don't compare with others. U just see whether u r fulfilling ur own potential in the best way u know how

Eat, Pray and Love
Its ok to lose ur balance in love


Soul
Perhaps that's why I was bit irked by F, cos I judge her. Or perhaps I deflate since I couldn't have her approval. And its bit maddening from someone so junior. Mmm, now I am starting to sound like another big sister. I acknowledge she has seek a lot. So, give her that. When u r uncertain, u deflate. So, won't go there.
She is now facing her low point and need to hold on to what she is certain. I need not judge her as I am not her tool for transformation.

S also gave me some pointers about opening up.

Honestly I am not ready yet. I don't want to compare with others. For now, I will get my blog updated first. I am not sure when or how. But I will give my writing the attention.