A possible start or is it my mental compulsion (5)

Dec 15 Eve

Father, such acceptance on the sathsang. I recalled I faced such turmoil but now nothing. Just accept to do it. Didn't even feel the 'authority' issue.

Today receive calls from another guy whom I am attracted to. I can feel myself got bit excited. As usual, I was bit abrupt but I tone down later. 2nd time when he called me, I was better. A coincidence, same name as the con guy. Anyway, this time I am aware of my compulsion and able to handle it.
Today saw the cover page for ebook. I like it. Only thing is to change the wordings into Light up ur mind.

Osho
Intellectuality is not intelligence. Intellectuality is not real because it is not yours, it is borrowed.
Intelligence is the growth of inner consciousness. It has nothing to do with knowledge, it has something to do with meditativeness.
An intelligent person does not function out of his past experience; he functions in the present. He does not react, he responds.
　
Soul
Same msg as my Osho Transformation card - Dropping knowledge.
On sathsang, Choicelessness.

Osho
Fear has to be created, and greed has to be created. Intelligence is not greedy. U r not confident about ur intelligence, so you hoard, u become greedy. An intelligent person is not afraid, is not greedy.
Greed and fear go together - that's why heaven and hell go together. Hell is fear, heaven is greed.
An intelligent person is perfectly satisfied with the possible. He works for the probable; he never works for the impossible or improbable. He looks at life and its limitations. He is not a perfectionist. A perfectionist is a neurotic.

People ask that which cannot be done. You want security for the future, which is not possible; it is not in the nature of life. To ask for security for tomorrow means to remain in constant fear. Fear will be there, u will be trembling - and meanwhile the present moment is missed. With the desire for security in the future, u r destroying the present, which is the only life available. And more and more u will become shaken, afraid, greedy.

Soul
Same msg.

Osho
Society wants u to be slaves, always afraid, always competitive. It wants u to be unloving, full of anger and hatred. It wants u to remain weak.
Meditation is needed only to undo what the society has done. Meditation negates the damage, it destroys the illness. And once the illness has gone, ur well-being asserts itself of its own accord.