Freedom to is responsiblity (4)

Dec 9
In life, when things doesn't go ur way, u either harden or soften.
I have the same choice with the RA issue. I can either proceed to soften and believe that there is a reason for the increased ESR despite me having 4 days week and my work load has reduced.

Osho
1. Issue
Morality
All the judgement of the mind are just products of our conditioning. And whether our judgements are applied to ourselves or to others, they keep us from experiencing the beauty and godliness that lies within. Only when we break through the cage of our conditioning and reach the turth of our own hearts, can we begin to see life as it really is.

Soul
Been getting this card recently. Not sure what it meant. Only thing is perhap how I view my own transformation or growth. If negative, nothing is happening and I am back to square 1 especially now have to look for CEO's PA again. Suddenly tot, again 9 of Hearts - loss of 2 PAs
But if neutrel, at least I m the healthiest I have ever been despite RA. I am less attached to food and spa. I m less attached to work.
But I guess m attached to my growth.
And after a week of no meditation, I felt unable to connect to Energy, like back to square 1. So, this is it.

(Jan 7 - I am back. Once I removed my Deflation mode, got involved with life, whichever it comes.)

2. Internal influence that u r unable to see
Turning in
When going stops, journeying disappears, when desiring is no more clouding ur mind, u r in. This is called turning in. But it is not turning at all, it is simply not going out.
To develop the knack of taking a distance from ur mind. It is what meditation is all about, just watching, as if the mind belongs to somebody else.
You are ready to take this distance now, and to watch the show without getting caught up in the drama. Indulge urself in the simple freedom of Turning In whenever u can, and the knack of meditation will grow and deepen in u.

Soul
After samyama, I can see my tots. So rampant. At first I tot I become more jumpy, but perhaps it was always there but now I can see it.

(Jan 7 - this morning while doing my practices, somehow I can think the tots in my mind as background voice, I need not participate. I was able to hold ground when I am aware. But when I am not aware, I was hooked with the tots and participated in them, I become lost in my mind)

3. External Influence of which u r aware
Patience.
Now is a time when all that is required is to be simply alert, patient, waiting, letting nature takes its course.

4. What is needed for resolution?
Creativity
Be open to what wants to be expressed through u. Remember that we don't possess our creations, they do not belong to us. True creativity arises from a union with the divine, with the mystical and the unknowable. Then it is both a joy for the creator and a blessing to others.

Soul
Guess msg is go back to my writing. For a while, was having doubts again.

5. Resolution
Friendliness
First meditate, be blissful, then much love will happen of its own accord. Then being with others is beautiful and being alone is also beautiful. Then it is simple, too. You don't depend on others and you don't make others dependent on u. Then it is always friendship, a friendliness.

Soul
Tot of d separation with CEO's PA. Mmm, I also have a 9 of Hearts in Ruling card.
　
Natal chart - Force of habit is strong
Once u made up ur mind and are willing to pay the price, u usually get what u want. It may take time, and u may have to overcome obstacles, but that is no matter. If u r committed, u are a powerhouse. After u overcome inertia, you are persevering, steady and stable.

Soul
Yeap. Also motivates me.

Natal Chart - super talent and miraculous success
You have enough inspiration and originality to last a life time and beyond.
You are so blessed that u make a natural minister. You understand people and can overlook their faults. U r both wise and psychic.

Extraordinary communication skill
You are a "Mercurial Character"n. You can be the messenger, reporter, critic, educator. You can develop a unique way with words.
Pay attention to the themes of "twoness" and u can double ur good luck. Eg. U can double ur income by developing skill as a paid speaker and published author.
In time u may develop special communication skillls and make ur mark on the world. Stay alert for changing signposts.

Soul
Published author - I can be. Paid speaker, not sure but I do want to.
Father, thanks for the motivation. I know m now on downtime, so take this time to go inward and listen to U.

(Jan7 - I don't want to become a speaker as there is possibility of frontal rejection. I don't want to face the drama, the drop of valuation. Anyway, I will overcome it and will now proceed to attend public speaking training)