Life is uncertain (2)

Dec 30

Soul
Why do I get edgy when people are 'greedy' or asked for things which they shouldn't have. ??

Answer came; its because I want to be liked. I don't want to say no unnecessarily. So, if they don't ask for things that they shouldn't, then I don't have to say no.

Such a paradox, I tot I had no problem with saying No. Guess, it should be I can say No but I don't like to say it because it affect my likeability or popularity. I have no control over what they think is their entitlement. What I can manage is my need to be liked.

Suddenly I remember about D, many years ago. She tot I was an author. Well, finally I am an author. Anyway, just text her, maybe number also gone as I recall she married a British guy and may have migrated.

Father, no reply from E. Previously I would be affected but now m not. I have come a long way. I can finally see the transformation.

Osho
The man who is simple knows nothing about tomorrow. He is not going to act out of his past. He will respond out of his present awareness. The simple person has no "character". He is neither good nor bad, but he has a beauty which no good people, no bad people can ever have. And the good and the bad are not very different; they are aspects of the same coin. The good person is bad behind it and the bad person is good behind it.

Soul
I m neither good nor bad.

Osho
Freud, Jung and Adler and others think that the conscious and unconscious are something natural. They are not. The unconscious is a by-product of civilisation. The more a person is civilised, the bigger an unconscious he has, becos civilisation means repression. Repression means u r denying a few parts of ur being from coming into light, u r pushing them into darkness, u r throwing them into ur basement so that u never come out.

Soul
I hide my sadness, my fear of being unloved, my fear that m not good enough, my need of being likeable.

Osho
It is because of the unconscious that people dream. The more civilised a person, the more he dreams. Dreams as compensatory, it compensates ur waking life.

Go to the aboriginals, u will be surprised that they don't dream much. They simply sleep, without dreams, because they have not repressed anything. They have been living naturally.

Soul
I dream little. I told people and they said I can't remember them cos I was in deep sleep.

Osho
In a better world, the parents, if they really love their children, will teach them to trust their own intelligence. In a better world, the parents will help the children to be independent as soon as possible, to be on their own.

Soul
My parents prescribed freedom to us at the very young age, we were given so much freedom for food, kindergarden, school, exam marks, curfew time on party and etc. We always have to decide for ourselves on what we want.
I used to be envious of others becos they r guided and make less mistake, likeable by adults. Me, always have to strike out on my own, got into trouble with outsiders a few times on the Do's and Don'ts.
With mom, whenever there is a foul up, she will just look at me and asked if that is my choice. If it is, she will accept it. And this even from primary school..Can you beat that???

So, now reading Osho and also looking at my life, I realised that I have been given a good foundation for me to fulfill my destiny as a Transformational leader.

Last week meetup with all the old friends from school. I know my 'intelligence' is greater than all of them and I have made a success of myself. I look great as most of them grow older, with aunty look. Those whose are single, looks haggard, like energy been dispelled.

Osho
We simply drop the child's growth of intelligence; we supply the right answer. Just think; The whole process is that the child is never allowed to find answer himself. We give him the answer. When the answer is given from the outside, intelligence need not grow, because intelligence only grows when it has to find the answer itself.

Soul
Alas, envious feeling for friends are gone. Now I know truly what the Outsider card meant. Alas, the door is open and I am out. Amen.

Osho
Growth needs that u should go astray sometimes, that u should start playing around, fooling around, that u should find original things, eventhough u may be wrong. U should come to the right by ur own efforts, by ur own growth, then there is intelligence.

Soul
As a kid, I was fooling around. I stopped when the incident happen and my control came in. Alas, its fine now. I can dance again.

Osho
To be simple means to be intelligent. Simplicity means living without ideals, without guides, without maps, just living moment to moment without any map.

Soul
Osho card about the Gap.

Osho
Our concern with the right and our fear of the wrong is nothing but our fear of the insecure. The right makes us secure, the wrong makes us insecure, but life is insecurity. There is no security anywhere.
Security is only an illusion that we create around ourselves, a cozy illusion. And becos of this cozy illusion, we kill our intelligence.

The man who wants to live simply will have to live in insecurity, will have to accept the fact that nothing is secure and certain, that we r on an unknown journey, that nobody can be certain where we r going and nobody can be certain from where we r coming.
The more intelligent u r, the more uncertain u r, the more hesitant u be, cos life is vast.

Living in uncertainty, living in insecurity, is simplicity. Living a life without ideals, without character, a life not rooted in the past, not motivated by the future, a life utterly here and now.

Soul
Amen.
Same msg for this week - No thingness.