A possible start or is it my mental compulsion (4)

Dec 15
Father, today did my practices with my nephews sleeping in my room. A leap!
Suria was good. Can't get into breathing awareness. Shambavi was good.
Recently, felt the back bone, not as comfortable.

Deliberate Intent
Achieving a conscious awareness of ur in-this-moment-vibrational-relationship with the vibration of ur Source is fundamental to ur happy life and to the deliberate creation of ur own life.
Deliberately reaching for tots that cause ur two vibrational vantage points to align is the true meaning of the Balancing of Energy. Your Source Energy never, under any conditions, feels anything less than love and appreciation for that which u r.
From ur state of Balance Energy, u experience clarity, vitality, eagerness, physical wellness, abundance in all things u consider to be good and an exuberant state of joy. This is the natural state of who-u-really-are.

Soul
Whenever I move into Balance Energy mode, I felt such joy that I automatically start to sing and laugh. I can move into alignment during meditation, sathsang and swimming. How to be aligned when I am not doing the above activities?

Deliberate Intent
Most people do not realise that thinking about something is inviting the essence of that "something" into their experience.
Every "something" could be seen as two subjects; what is wanted (a magnificent ever-flowing abundance) and the lack of what is wanted (desperate absence of abundance).
You get what u FEEL about what u think about.
Eg. U may say u want a loving rship, but if u constantly feel disappointment, or even fear, about not having a partner, then ur vibrational offering regarding loving relationshp does not match ur statement of desire. And whatever ur vibrational offering is, is where ur point of attraction is.
The key to joyful deliberate creating is to choose the subjects of ur tot intentionally, while paying close attention to how each to feels, for unless u r aware of how the tot feels, u have no understanding of where u r on the sliding scale of vibrational possibilities.

Soul
I know mine. I want a loving rshop but m also fearful of rejection and etc. Of cos, I now knew about my compulsive tot of creating imaginary mental rship. it only make me feel more fearful that I have such desperate need that I choose guy based on fulfillment of basic criteria - smart and rich. I don't even go for attraction cos I am able to convince myself that attraction is secondary. And since it was imaginary, my perception of rejection also not real concern.
Then I found out I was very negative whenever I faced imaginary rejection. Whenever I see others happy, especially those I judged worse off than me, I start to feel envious and then judge myself as so unworthy that gals worse off than me can even get good partner.
How do I go about it??
Father, I am even more confident of becoming a famous publisher than having a loving rship. So sad.

(Jan 15 - My vibration is changed. My love life is effortless.)

Deliberate Intent.
No desire, no matter what the subject, can manifest into ur experience as long as there is a vibrational difference between ur desire and ur practiced vibration. You have to practice urself into vibrational alignment with ur desires before they will be realised in ur experience
No other factors need to be considered in the achievement of anything that u want: What others think, what they have lived, what they r living, what u have lived in the past, even what u r living right now - they have no bearings whatsoever on ur ability to achieve the object of ur desires.
Only the vibrational relativity between ur desires and u is relevant.

Soul
Amen


Nine of Clubs
U r ready to awaken to a new and higher way of thinking that will be better than u have imagined.

Soul
Yes, just agreed to do sathsang. Don't have to go to India for training. I did it more for my public speaking experience, rather than Isha.
Mmm, will miss my sathsang experience.