Uncertainty is the law; Certainty is our illusion (3)

Jan 14

Father, now I realised Z resembles me a lot. We have the same passion for food and work. We also have the same fear of facing water. And like me, when a rship doesn't work, we can just drop it. Perhaps that's why he handled his divorce well.

Anyway, at first tot of sharing with him my insight. But then tot perhaps he doesn't want to know. I am attracted to him and I don't mind initiating. He will come back. I recalled I tot he was afraid of me and my writings, but he wasn't. By now he knows my intensity of the mind and also my receptiveness to meditation as he has seen me in action. Glad I can be open.

Evening
Finished my meditation, about 1 hour of guru pooja, samyama and shoonya.
I do find going from samyama to shoonya bit difficult. Shoonya is losing myself. Samyama is awareness. I noticed I become more alert after samyama. Perhaps should change routine.

(Jan 30 - routine changed and it is now on track)

A New Earth (Ekhart Tolle)
What the future holds for you depends on your state of consciousness now.
In the state of forgetfulness of who you are, every success is no more than a passing delusion. Whatever you achieve, soon you will be unhappy again, or some new problem or dilemma will draw your attention in completely.

The outer purpose varies from person to person and never last forever. In order to find out what outer purpose is in alignment with your inner purpose, you may have to find out what is not right, what no longer works, what is incompatible with your inner purpose.

As the ego is no longer running your life, the psychological need for external security, which is illusory anyway, lessens. You are able to live with uncertainty, even enjoy it. When you become comfortable with uncertainty, infinite possibilities open up in your life. It means fear is no longer a dominant factor in what you do and no longer prevents you from taking action to initiate change.

If uncertainty is unacceptable - it turns to fear

If uncertainty is acceptable - it turns into increased aliveness, alertness and creativity.

(Jan 30 - I initiate the date with Z. Bit of drama for me and he is oblivious. But it went well and he open up even more to me.)

Soul
Father, not sure but somehow I am not affected by the turmoil in the office between CEO and GM. To me either ending or beginning doesn't matter to me. It would have triggered me but now that corporate career no longer matters to me. I don't get worked up over it.

And also my attraction for Z. Previously the mental compulsion would work overtime and now it is mostly in the present. Amen.


Sadhguru on Vijii's samadhi place
This corner of ashram nurtures a very different type of energy altogether. It is very mild, very subtle, very pleasant and beautiful. If u sit there for awhile it can give u a bodiless kind of feeling. That space is fundamentally anahata. Its like a solvent. It can slowly melt u down.

Soul
I went there unknowingly for the first time. I had no idea what I would face. When I reached there, tears just fell and I cried uncontrollably and then laughed. I was scared at the loss of control.
The second time, even before reaching the cemetry, my tears start to fall.
I recalled looking into her, feeling her love flowing into me. I told her that I want to be as loving as her. Amen. She was the Initiator. Without her, I won't be taking all the steps.

Sadhguru
I utter every word consciously, not habitually. That gives the words power. Spirituality is about not allowing anything to happen to u unconsciously.

Soul
Father, when I started this path back in 1999 cos I won't allow my unconscious to rule. I don't want to lose control and it led me to the path of Self-Mastery; which is my Destiny


Sadhguru
Chronic disease's root cause is always in the energy body. Once it is disturbed, the mental body and the physical body are bound to be disturbed. If people are willing to activate their energy body, they can definitely be free of all chronic ailments.

(Jan 30 - Father, I can now dance. And the next step is scuba diving. In time, I will look at releasing my relationship and sexuality issue. Father, I now slowly realise relationship is the key to unlocking my RA.)

Soul
Will do shakti in the morning to ensure no break.

Sadhguru on who is ur guru
When u know the true pain of ignorance, a guru will happen. U don't have to look. If u sit with him, everything in u should feel threatened. U want to run away, but there is something in u which keeps on pulling u towards him - u can assume then he is ur guru.


Soul
Thats exactly what happens to me. Amen.