Accepting myself

Mar 21
Father, today I am sleepy. The practices was fine. But I am sleepy. Yesterday shoonya/samyama was good. But I have learned to ignore some tots flow and just focus on the practice.

Soul without shame
When u completely disidentify from ur judge, the attacks stops having any effect on u. U may still be aware of it arising in ur mind, but it does not distract u, engage u or stop u from living ur life at the moment.

When u recognise true nature as ur real identity, u no longer identify with judge or child self-images and the components of judgement disappear.

The work of disidentification is based on the practice of being present with the truth of ur experience. U stop identifying with an image of urself, with anything other than living true nature of urself, with anything other than the living nature of ur soul.



Mar 21 Eve
Father, I tried to call Z but again unreachable. I don't know lah. He has improved in that he will reply my msg no matter how late.

Nine of Heart in Uranus. Spades man is going off. Aiyah, S is one of them. I am not sad but more frustrated. These days I don't take it personally. But I miss him and he is not reachable most of the time.

Any Spade males u know may be acting strangely now or leave u feeling uncertain about their intentions or commitments. It would be best just to let them go their own way and maintain an open friendship.

Soul
Well, be at ease.

Today teacher again up to her drama on M. It is sad but then who knows what's her karma. But I won't let her spill to me. Now that I focus on my Top 5, putting Isha at its rightful place, below work and my writing makes me feel ok. The resentment on Isha is not there.
When teacher was ranting, I was able to answer without much fanfare.

I quite like my new job. I do like working with E. He does keep my adrenalin moving. Its been awhile since I am excited about my job.

Diamond Heart Book 1
The more we are aligned with the truth, the more joy we will find, the more happiness, love, fulfillment and satisfaction. We can become deeply content simply by being in harmony with the truth.

Soul
Just now shoonya and samyama was great. I went in real deep. This one week, apart from being aware of my breathe and tots, I am also aware that there is Me who is noticing my breathe and tots. I try to focus on that. I went in deep and the plough back was great.

Diamond Heart Book 1
As u actualise ur Personal Essence, u can bring that fullness into ur life. Then everything in ur life - ur work, ur job, ur relationship with ur lover, children, friends - can become filled with Essence rather than substituting for Essence.

The point is to realise Essence in ur life; that's why we r here. We r not here to suffer. We r not here to work or raise children. We r here to completely fulfilled our potential. We r here to learn what its like to be really human. It is very rare to know what's its like to be a complete, mature human being.