Finally realising that I am loved..Challenges faced were opportunities given to me

May 4

Father, I woke up at 4 am, I only slept about 4 hours as I finished talk with SL around 11.30 pm yesterday and need time to wind down.

When I called Z, he was babbling about my new strategy of hooking him, calling him everyday and etc. I felt a bit hurt and I put the phone away from my ear, which I told him. I then asked if he wants me to hang up. He replied no, and we continue chatting. Then he got me stirred and he wanted to calm me down and said nice things, about what he likes about me.

On SL, I can relate how she feels. But like P said, my case is even more difficult as it is positive strings. Nevertheless a string. I no longer need to feel important, what matters is I am happy. I know the sadness is gone. I am determined to see this thru.

Destiny Results
Eight of Spades
As a result of contending with ur Pluto, is the element of developing a strong will power and determination that can help u overcome any obstacles in ur path.


Soul
So true, so many times my mind asked me to break from Z but I hold on. It was thru determination but it was helped by him too as he wasn't willing to let me go.
Because of me walking the path with him, I am able to have power to break thru with Isha and power to buy a big car which everyone even myself said I cannot handle. I will handle it.


Displacement in Destiny
Nine of Diamonds
Something important in ur value system has reached the end of its usefulness for u.
Value - line of work, something u collect or own or simply ur entire way of looking at life and the things that are important to u.
Its up to u as to whether this becomes a tragedy or a cause for celebration as u graduate from this level to next. How u handle this ending will determine ur happiness this year.
This year is the preparation for a new life just about to begin. This new life will be one that is more healthy and full of new and pleasant surprises for u. So, embrace the endings that occur this year with joy.
You have come a long way to get what u r and u will lose nothing that is truly yours.

Soul
Agreed.

I am also glad I don't take things as personally as before. Let go and lets live, its my motto now. I never like volunteering and now I focused on what makes me happy, rather than how others perceive me. They may now think me ungrateful or etc and I lost my importance, I am fine cos I am happy.

Displacement
Ruling - Ace of Heart
This is a year when ur own personal satisfaction in love matters will assume a greater importance in ur life. Just what will best satisfy ur yearning for affection will come into focus. U also have a restlessness on the emotional level, one probably due to some dissatisfaction with ur current emotional environment.
This year marks the beginning of a new way of loving yourself. Our relationships always reflect how we love ourselves, so expect some new experiences.
U will probably need more time to urself to sort out ur feelings, inner drives and motivation.

Soul
So true. I had tots of now the Isha teachers is similar to the Church's pastors. The foundation has become like a religion. There are many rules and protocol. No wonder I was unhappy.

The Inner Journey
If a person is growing rightly, anger will play an important part in his life. Anger has its own colour. If it is removed, then the pic of man's life will be in some sense incomplete.
Anger should be transformed - but it should not be destroyed.

Soul
When I interviewed the persons for reporting role. I can see that they are good but somehow no one see beyond their surface, they were not given opportunity.
For me, I have always been given opportunity. I always faced extreme opportunity. At that times, I used to see them as challenges and I tot God didn't love me and wants me to suffer. Alas, now I realised I am lucky. I have always been in situations that force me to adapt and learn and grow. I am always given responsibilities. Now I can buy an expensive car without blinking an eye. In truth, I am actually prosperous.

The Inner Journey
All the heart qualities within man should be intensely and extremely developed; this should be the priority. Only if there is extreme development, can there be transformation. All transformation takes place at extreme points, no transformation happens below that.

U r lukewarm people - no transformation can take place. All the qualities of ur mind and of ur heart should be developed to the utmost; only then can there be revolution in them. Only then can there be change. When anger has an intensity it can be transformed into compassion, otherwise not.

So, it is not a question of fighting with the anger, it is a question of knowing the anger - because remember, there is no greater energy than knowing and there is no greater stupidity than to fight with one's own energies.
If u divide urself and fight, u will go on breaking apart; u will disintegrate, u will not be a whole person. There can be no attainment in life other than defeat for the person who fights with himself. Do not fight. Know ur own energies, recognise them, be acquainted with them.


Soul
Suddenly tot of me like quality things that are expensive. I suppressed that because I don't want to earn the money to buy.
Perhaps, I should be focusing on earning money, something that comes easily to me instead of suppressing my wants.

Z focus on earning instead of suppression. Of course, he should balance lah. But I should learn from him.