Settling down with Z

Mar 26
Father, we had a good time. I am glad I changed our routine. He too was happy about it. We will change it to Sunday.

In one our session, I was so overwhelmed that I cried. And in another session, I went into ecstasy unexpectedly.

What is different? He likes to take me in his arms. For the first time he asked me to iron his clothes. Housework is my sensitive point as I dislike it. I found myself feeling resentful and got angrier by the minute. When he saw me getting angry, he asked me to stop ironing. He doesn't want us to spoil our day unnecessarily. But he is now aware how sensitive I was over housework and teased me again and again.

Alas he admitted that his only problem is his up and down finances. I told him that's why I don't feel safe with him. He shared about his finances again, to make me feel safe with him.

I also realised he just want to spend time with me. He is a family man. There is a goodness in him. I truly found a diamond as I said so. And I think this diamond is staying with me. He be a fool not to as we r both quite compatible and have the same values.

Today I felt refreshed after our trip.


Mar 26 Eve
Father, P said she we cannot talk about letting go of Isha. I guess she is feeling it cos she too want to let but can't. Never mind, just pull out slowly.

But I enjoyed myself with C and P. And I am glad C can now said how she feel. At first I was bit defensive and I calmed down.

I tot of Z. His wallet looks depressing. Looks like a poor man wallet. I wanted to give him a new wallet. I also tot of getting him a sub credit card with 500 dollars limit for him to use during emergency.

Alas he admitted his problem on up and down on money. Me, who wants security can now accept it.

I love his goodness. I also like the fact that he can handle my spout of anger.