Go back to my Top 5

May 7
Father, I seems to be very calm today.

When I saw SS's mail that I have to take care of credit, I just acted on it. I took the opportunity to inform him that I cannot handle both companies and I want out.
Actually I can but it leaves me little time to do my Top 5, being with Z and doing my writing.

I felt at ease. I told Z and he tot I break out. I said I am fine but I don't want to be superwoman. The truth is I want to focus on my Top 5.

E called me out of concern. I told him I am fine. He said my role will expand considerably. I told him I am fine. He is my saving grace.

1. The Issue
New Vision
U r no longer an ordinary human being - u have transcended.
U now see life in all its dimensions, from the depths to the heights. The dark and difficult are needed as much as the light and easy. You now have a different perspective on the world.
By allowing all of life's colours to penetrate us, we become more integrated.

Soul
I decided to quit from old company. I want to focus on my Top 5, which doesn't include work. Work is just a means to an end. Once I set up my team, I am ready to roll. The episode with Isha and now old company really made me see. My suffering was worth it as it cause me to see the light. It reminds me of my path to happiness.

2. Internal influence
Beyond Illusion
Through the rising of the inner sun, meditation is born. This card reminds us not to look outside for what is real, but to look within. When we focus on externals, we too often get caught up in judgments - this is good, this is bad. I don't want this, I want this. These judgments keeps us trapped in our illusions, our sleepiness, our old habits and patterns.

Drop ur opinionated mind and move inside. There, u can relax into ur own deepest truth, where the difference between dreams and reality is already known.

Soul
Yea, Top 5.

3. External influence
Compromise
Don't be clever, otherwise u will remain the same, u will not change.
Compromise will create more confusion.
When we compromisee our own truth, it is usually us trying to gain something - whether it is power of the approval. Remember, if u r tempted, beware: the rewards of this kind of compromise always leave a bitter taste.

Soul
Yea, earlier I wanted old company for back up in future, in case new company doesn't work out. Also that was my power base, a place of relaxation.
Alas, I have bitten more than I can chew. Besides I need to focus on new company and make it work.


Ruling Card
Eight of Diamonds
Focusing and concentrating our VALUES and making choices about what is most important in our life and what is not. This card usually occurs at a time when we want to make some major purchase.

Destiny card
Six of Spades (fate and karma in action, payback from the past in many forms.
A smoothing out of affairs in the realms of work and health and bring some much needed peace into ur life.



4. What is needed for resolution?
Celebration
Life is a moment to celebrate.
Your cleverness is ur disease. Don't be too wise. A little foolishness and a little wisdom is good; and the right combination makes u a buddha.

U r becoming more and more available and open to the many opportunities that are to celebrate in life, and to spread this by contagion to others.

Soul
My sadness over Isha is gone. I am slowly returning to my happy self. I know my new company will be fine. I got my Team now.

5. Resolution
Sorrow
The pain is not to make u sad, remember. The pain is just to make u more alert.
In order for transformation to happen, we must go deep, to the very roots of our pain and experience it as it is.

Soul
Yea, the let go of Isha led me to let go of old company, led me to let go of my attachment to work.