Apr 8
Father, I woke up. I saw my face bit bloated. I put on weight since I got back from Germany. Perhaps I was compensating with food.
My body is telling me to stop. Yesterday, after the meal at Popeye, I just couldn't eat anymore meat. I had noodles with meat but I just couldn't eat it.
Last night was a good session among friends. And I m glad I got over my defense mechanism. Whenever I am stopped, I felt rejected and I would attack. But I am glad I just let it be. I also knew my reluctance with C is because of my guilt.
Teacher now excluding me from emails, trying to outcast me. Mind of course, was working a bit. I know I am all for it. Just removed me from the core and I just be a normal volunteer, come and go as I wish.
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