North Node in 11th house (need to lose the script)

Jun 25
Had some cough last night due to haze. So, didnt sleep well. Body was tired when alarm rang. So, I adjusted and wake up 5.30 am instead. Had a good nap.
Did one cycle of Surya kriya and it was good. Breathing was nice, wish I had more time. Shakti was good. Shambavi was fine. I ended with a peaceful silence. A sense of sweetness enveloped me. I sat there for quite a while. Plough back was good too despite only one cycle of Surya kriya. Wish I have more time to sit and savour the peaceful silence.

Today I can see my body frame has definitely reduce in size. I m going back to my weight before Z, before I had the contraceptive pills, before I used food while pining for Z. I think Surya Kriya and the change of diet did it. Also, I m letting go of my past values. Definitely a new beginning and the journey continues.
Last night realisation of my anger is great. This is a new beginning for my expression. I need not hold my image anymore. Those repressed anger is attacking my joints. Father, I want to have manicure again. I stopped when my middle finger swell. And the swelling is there for nearly 7 years. I think is time for me to show the beauty of my hand. I can't help the swell, but it is only one finger, I need not hide the whole beauty just because of one flaw.

North node in 11th house (Aquarius)
They are learning to recognise that if they can't make progress on a current project, the universe is trying to send them in a different direction. They should allow the flow of natural events to show them where to put their time and energy, rather than trying to dictate decisions from their own point of view. If something doesn't turn out the way they want it, perhaps the outcome is destined to be something they aren't aware of.

Soul
Truly learning with Z. Amen.

North node in 11th house (Aquarius)
Rather than putting out too much personal effort, they need to relax and remain open to the Flow - then they will travel with true power behind them. Eg, even though its their job to bring in the New Age, if they don't allow the Angels to help them, they will become too attached to their personal effort and won't have the power to accomplish their goal.  If they rest in the Flow, they will find themselves using minimal effort to accomplish maximum results

Soul
Will take note. I admit that losing Z makes me focus on my blog, which may not be the right thing. Just go with the Flow; whoever should read will read.

North node in 11th house (Aquarius)
Releasing expectation
Many of their expectation come from the fact that have already played out a situation in their head and given everyone their proper lines - so when they are actually with those people, they subconsciously force them into the role of their fantasy. This leads to 2 problems. First, when the other person doesn't go along with the script, they become confused and angry; their expectation are disappointed. Second, when she is focused on the "script" she can't see what is happening in the present, so she loses touch with her ability to change the situation to her advantage.

Soul
Z consciously force me into the role whereas I subsconciously force him.
I was caught off guard by his quick wedding, his avoidance mode and etc. that's why I keep on holding on to find the correction. I was judging myself for my stupidity. Why I didn't see it coming.
Father, this is truly humbling. I who take pride on my communication and strategy got my rug pulled out. It got pulled cos I keep on focusing my script, ignoring that the script has changed. I ignored cos I hope that I m not abandoned. I hope that I m not stupid for trusting Z.

This is similar to my lifetime challenge of Seven of Hearts. Will look at this.

Father, just like Z was caught off guard when his wife asked for divorce to marry another man.
The same I was caught off guard when Z marry another gal.
He was also willing to overlook her infidelity as long as she stays in the marriage. Previously I tot he has true compassion. The real reason is he don't want to lose the script.
That's the same reason why I still hold on for 6 months eventhough Z told me his wedding date and avoided me, I too don't want the script to be changed. I tot if I maintain my position, story remain. Alas it is not so. I did exactly what Z did. Guess he may have seen it too.
Father, this is truly humbling. Z was truly my mirror in Seven of Hearts.

Just got Osho card. The Mind. The cloud has to be dropped. And it is with ur decision to drop that it will disappear. U r clinging to it.

Soul
First tot is stop thinking of Z, is over.
Second tot is saying the Script is all in my mind. Yea, second one as it align with my Inquiry card. Alas can see my Seven of Heart.

Five of Spades
A change in ur life style. Something will affects the way u live or things that u do each day.

Soul
Yea, will drop script.
Father, so humbling. I too tot I was loving and compassionate in waiting for Z despite his avoidance.
I recalled Z used to wait for his ex gal who was two timing him for nearly 2 years. I tot what a fool, but also what deep love. In the end, it is just us trying to hold on to our script.
Father, so humbling.