Peaceful moment with Now

Jun 20 eve
Just back from dinner with S. she looks good. I m happy for her.
She asked me to get another partner to replace Z. I said not now, I just want to savour my freedom; my aloneness. Feels great.
Father, thank U. Today is a peaceful day. No flying tots on Z and even if it comes, it a peaceful tot. Amen.
Thanks for saving me.

The Power of Now
Once u have disidentified from ur mind, whether u are right or wrong makes no difference to ur sense of self at all, so the forcefully compulsive and deeply unconscious need to be right will no longer be there. U can state clearly and firmly how u feel or what u think, but there will no longer be aggressiveness or defensiveness about it. Ur sense of self is then derived from a deeper and truer place within urself, not from the mind.
Power over others is weakness disguised as strength. True power is within and it is available to u right now.

Soul
Amen.

The Power of Now
Another aspect of the emotional pain that is an intrinsic part of the egoic mind is a deep seated sense of lack or incompleteness, of not being whole, it manifests as the unsettling and constant feeling of not being worthy or good enough. If it is unconscious, it will only be felt indirectly as intense craving, wanting and needing. In either case, people will often enter into a compulsive pursuit of ego-gratification and things to identify in order to fill this hole they feel within. So, they strive after possessions, money, success, power, recognition or a special relationship, basically so that they feel better about themselves, feel more complete. But even when they attain all these things, they soon find that the hole is still there, that it is bottomless.

Soul
When I last read this in 2010 and later 2011, I didn't know how bad a case I have. Alas I m aware of now of my need for validation from peers and of having a partner.

The Power of Now
Death is a stripping of all that is not you. The secret of life is to "die before u die" - and find that there is no death.

Soul
I tot I died if I accept Sadhguru, but I didn't.
I tot I died without meat. Alas, I didn't.
I tot I died if I swim breast stroke, I didn't
I tot I died if I lose my career, I didn't
I tot I die if I lose Z, I didn't.

Father, the last six month without Z has been real growth path for me.

The Power of Now
The mind in itself is not dysfunctional. It is a wonderful tool. Dysfunction sets in when u seek urself in it and mistake it for who u are. It then becomes the egoic mind and takes over ur whole life.

Soul
Yea, my mind is not me. I know I m something beyond my mind. At the moment the experience is during practices  but it is slowly coming out into open.

The Power of Now
Time and mind are inseparable. Remove time from the mind and it stops - unless you choose to use it.
To be identified with ur mind is to be trapped in time: the compulsion to live almost exclusively through memory and anticipation.  This creates an endless preoccupation with the past and future and unwillingness to honor and acknowledge the present moment and allow it to be. The compulsion arise because the past gives u an identity and the future holds the promise of salvation, of fulfilment in whatever form. Both are illusions.
Now is the only point that can take u beyond the limited confines of the mind. It is ur only point of access into the timeless and formless realm of Being.

Soul
True. Father, I now know future is unknown and mind can only extrapolate what it know based on past. And it's extrapolation is not real.
I just want to be in the present with my body.