North Node in 11th House - to regain group awareness

Jun 23 aft
Just woke up from afternoon nap. There were a few intermittent tots of Z. I just looked at it, knowing it is past. The future is unknown.
I woke up with a love song in my head

North node in 11th house (Aquarius)
They hate to lose when they take risks. Even in playing a simple card game or gambling with low stakes, when money is involved these folks are not "good sports".

Soul
I know I only do things if the stake of winning is high. True that I don't want to lose.

North node in 11th house (Aquarius)
One of the lessons they are  learning is that "life" happens to everyone. But from past incarnation of being Very Important People, these folks are outraged when they are treated like everyone else - they are naive and spoiled.

Soul
That's why I couldn't believe it when Z went on avoidance mode and arranged marriage without discussing with me. I tot we had a open communication. But not true cos I don't ask and he don't tell.
And I didn't like to lead volunteers cos the chances of wins are low.

North node in 11th house (Aquarius)
They have spent so many lifetimes building ego, determination and personal will that they lost their group awareness. Thus in this in incarnation they need to intentionally expand their thinking to include the individual need of others. Their will must be focused on promoting the general good in order to be supported by others. Problems arise when they try to control every step of how their dreams are manifested. If they try to control the process, frustration results. What they want us valid; but they are learning to release attachment to how it comes about.
(When I do what's best for everyone involved, I win)

Soul
Yea, age 42 to 48, Nine of Hearts. Cosmic Reward is Nine of Hearts.
Yea, me and my control issue.
I tot Z and I are meant to be and I was willing to compromise my values. Alas, it is not meant to be.

North node in 11th house (Aquarius)
They have innate confidence in their power to overcome life's obstacles. Perhaps that's why they have resilience and are able to bounce back from catastrophes with a happy heart and a spirit that is willing to go on the next adventure. They accurately appraise their talents and needs and then set about creating positive solutions. They don't seek security through conventional means - they depends on their own wits to ensure their destiny.

Soul
True for me.

North node in 11th house (Aquarius)
In past lives, these folks did everything on their own, and this one reason why they are so wilful. They push until the desired objective is obtained or until the resistance is so great that they simply have to give up

Soul
I gave full commitment to Z, I persevere until alas Z left on his own.

North node in 11th house (Aquarius)
When they finally do let go of something that isn't working, they see a higher answer for why the situation didnt work out as they wanted. The Angels and their own intuition will show them the larger picture.
(I don't know what 'ought' to be)

Soul
Yea, my values and Z differs. I was lifted as I was uncertain about my values and was about to compromise it. And the timing was perfect as just when I myself wanted to let go.
I can now go forward on my destiny of Self mastery.
Now practising The Now whenever  tots of Z came.

North node in 11th house (Aquarius)
Their primary lesson is to transform their over active ego into a vehicle for furthering the evolution of humankind. To rein in the ego requires a spiritual connection and strong self discipline. They simply must not allow themselves to indulge in petty, negative emotional states. Those patterns of thinking feed their ego and hurt their hearts.

Soul
Father, thank u for my will to persevere to my dreams. Thank u for my low tolerance level to my pain. Thank u for my sensitivity that causes my receptivity. Thank u for my perceptibility.