Jun 14 eve
Z just sent his wedding invitation card. While part of me is sad but the other part of me is thankful that its over. And the wedding date he gave is true. He gave me the date back then.
Father, thank you that I be at ashram then.
Father, again a coincidence that I managed to see the release this week. And this week Osho's Clinging to the past.
Sadness descending. But a part of me said thank you, then I m freed to find my own dream. No wonder mine is a new vision.
No, I won't be going. And I don't feel like replying him either. I gave him many chance to tell me but he avoided it.
I could have avoided this long standing mourning for him. But without the suffering I wouldn't have found my Natal Chart and I wouldn't reach where I m right now.
Mind is going on victim mode. All negative tots and some revengeful. I m letting it past. I want to stay now. I want to remember Now and I know Z is not good for me. Our values doesn't fit.
Father, thank you for the timing. I couldn't have face this a week back. But I m ready now.
I have a lovely family, I have my practices, I have financial security. I have good health. I have freedom.
Tears are brimming. I m sad but there is something else too.
A tot came. Since his wedding date is real, why he didn't had any posting or etc so I can know. Answer, he worried of any jeopardy.
Father, I m sad but glad it's finally over.
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