Aug 31 eve
Just had dinner with old friend J. I ask her to join for guru pooja. And I think B should join too.
Guru pooja broke down my resistance and created opening for me to deeper into Isha. Without Guru Pooja, I would never have done Shoonya and Hata Yoga.
Father, I m surprised by my sharing. I never shared my experience with both J and B. I shared about the ardha shiddharna posture, the spine holding my body like a clothes hanger; what Sadhguru said is true. She said she recalled what Sadhguru said and like me she also dismissed it like hocus pocus. Me, I tot only those doing heavy yoga/swami can experience it. Never tot I would one day experience it. And when the spine is straight, mind become silent. I told her that I finally experience stillness. Stillness in body, mind and Breathe. Its like time stopped.
Father, I am finally opening up. I also shared my website www.joyong.org. I asked her to go thru suggested readings. I told her about my blog. I said people are reading. I m doing this because it makes me happy; there is no purpose except I need to share. Whoever needed will come.
Father, a new beginning. I m finally opening up.
Osho - razor edge
Love needs immense consciousness. Love is a meeting of two souls and lust is a meeting of two bodies. Lust is animal; love is divine. But unless u know that u are a soul, u cannot understand what love is.
I cannot tell u what love is, but I can tell u how to find ur soul. That's my whole work: to help u meditate, to help u become more aware, alert, so that slowly, slowly u start seeing that u are not just the body, that u r not just even the mind, that there is something else hidden behind it all, which is ur real life.
And once u become aware of ur real life, ur being, u will know that the joy of being so overflowing that one wants to share it with someone who is receptive, someone who is available, with someone who is ready to open his heart.
The meeting of two consciousness is love.
Soul
Truly beautiful. I have already awaken and I m ready to meet my true partner.
Osho - razor edge
Discover ur consciousness and u will find what love is. It is an experience, and there is no way to say anything about it, more than that which I have said. The meeting of two consciousness merging into each other brings the greatest orgasm the universe allows.
But before that, u have to move away from the body and the mind and the heart, and reach to the very center of ur being.
Once u reached to the center of ur being, u will find love radiating from u. It is not something to be done by u. It will just be as if the sun has risen and the flowers have opened, and the air has become filled with their fragrance.
Love is a by-product of meditation.
Only meditators knows what love is.
Soul
This is my this week Osho internal influence tarot card -
Lovers
Father, I have got this card before but never truly grasped its meaning until now.
Saturday, August 31, 2013
Sexual love never last - enjoy it while its there
Aug 31 aft
Internal Influence
Lovers
What we call love is really a whole spectrum of relating, reaching from the earth to the sky. At the most earthy level, love is sexual attraction. Many of us remain stuck there, because our conditioning has burdened our sexuality with all kinds of expectations and repressions. Actually the biggest "problem" with sexual love is that it never lasts. Only if we accept this fact can we then really celebrate it for what it is - welcome its happening, and say good-bye with gratitude when it's not
Soul
When I reached here. This was my first relationship, started with sex, ended with emotion.
The next one will be emotion and end with sex.
A tot also came. Once I decide to not continue with S as my staff; she become angry and pulled out. Father, the old me would have reacted out of guilt or even feeling loss of validation. But the new me sees that her treatment of me is unfair. I have never asked anything from her and nether has she given me anything. But here trying to lay guilt on me; she is truly misguided. Especially when she can lay guilt on her ex boss whom she had given so much but no return. But then that was her love.
Finally ended my karma with challenges in relationship. Amen.
Internal Influence
Lovers
What we call love is really a whole spectrum of relating, reaching from the earth to the sky. At the most earthy level, love is sexual attraction. Many of us remain stuck there, because our conditioning has burdened our sexuality with all kinds of expectations and repressions. Actually the biggest "problem" with sexual love is that it never lasts. Only if we accept this fact can we then really celebrate it for what it is - welcome its happening, and say good-bye with gratitude when it's not
Soul
When I reached here. This was my first relationship, started with sex, ended with emotion.
The next one will be emotion and end with sex.
A tot also came. Once I decide to not continue with S as my staff; she become angry and pulled out. Father, the old me would have reacted out of guilt or even feeling loss of validation. But the new me sees that her treatment of me is unfair. I have never asked anything from her and nether has she given me anything. But here trying to lay guilt on me; she is truly misguided. Especially when she can lay guilt on her ex boss whom she had given so much but no return. But then that was her love.
Finally ended my karma with challenges in relationship. Amen.
Stillness sets in again - redefining completion without comparison
Aug 31
Woke up 7.00 am upon alarm. Body don't feel too great. Had tot of past but I counter by saying; don't compare. He may have King of clubs in Venus and me Three of Clubs. But I always got money whereas he always got commitment. What is my weakness is also my strength, vice versa.
Did one cycle of Surya kriya, followed by a quick Shavasana. Breathing was lovely, I can see violet flame. I sat for quite awhile. Shakti was good. Violet flame during Kapalabhakti. I was singing in my mind at the end. Shambavi was great. Started with singing from butterfly flap. Towards the end, heads was shaking non stop followed by head pulled back and air exchange from the lung. Then head snap back to original position. Stillness sets in ardha shiddharna posture. I have experienced contentment, silence but this is stillness. Body was still, mind was still and emotion too. Everything just stops. It was amazing. Stillness happens for quite awhile. I ended my practices around 9.20 am.
Went for my swim. It was amazing. I just enjoyed the water on breaststroke style. I can even give way to others who are inexperienced. Just swimming with ease and joy. On the fourth lap, a group of family with many children in floating gears came in. I couldn't swim over. At first I forced myself to do so. Then a tot came, even Tim Ferris start with 20 meter pool. He said focus on the practice, not a workout. Why I need to finish 50 meter? I just want to enjoy myself only; I m not trying to do workout. I then just swim in my area, enjoying myself tremendously.
An Ah Ha moment came; completion need not be the whole distance. Completion is up to ur own capability. Don't need to compare myself with other swimmers. They use this pool as a workout. Me, I love water but can't swim. The pool is for me to practice and to know my status of emotion adaptability.
Then on the same tot I now can conclude my story on Completion. It is truly completed; just a changed of perspective, a change of mind. He was my first relationship. I went in because I wanted physical release and he was the right one. I am now physically released and hence completion. Completion here need not mean we have to be together in the end. Completion can means different thing to different people. Just like a husband that died from heart attack. The fact that his life journey didn't end with his wife and seeing his children marriages, doesn't mean it is incomplete. It is complete to his life.
Father, I predicted early this week that my menses will come once I reach completion; once I go with the flow. True enough, menses came after my swim; after realisation that it has already completed.
Father, just finished writing Completion story. A true finale. Yea, completion has to be seen and experienced.
Woke up 7.00 am upon alarm. Body don't feel too great. Had tot of past but I counter by saying; don't compare. He may have King of clubs in Venus and me Three of Clubs. But I always got money whereas he always got commitment. What is my weakness is also my strength, vice versa.
Did one cycle of Surya kriya, followed by a quick Shavasana. Breathing was lovely, I can see violet flame. I sat for quite awhile. Shakti was good. Violet flame during Kapalabhakti. I was singing in my mind at the end. Shambavi was great. Started with singing from butterfly flap. Towards the end, heads was shaking non stop followed by head pulled back and air exchange from the lung. Then head snap back to original position. Stillness sets in ardha shiddharna posture. I have experienced contentment, silence but this is stillness. Body was still, mind was still and emotion too. Everything just stops. It was amazing. Stillness happens for quite awhile. I ended my practices around 9.20 am.
Went for my swim. It was amazing. I just enjoyed the water on breaststroke style. I can even give way to others who are inexperienced. Just swimming with ease and joy. On the fourth lap, a group of family with many children in floating gears came in. I couldn't swim over. At first I forced myself to do so. Then a tot came, even Tim Ferris start with 20 meter pool. He said focus on the practice, not a workout. Why I need to finish 50 meter? I just want to enjoy myself only; I m not trying to do workout. I then just swim in my area, enjoying myself tremendously.
An Ah Ha moment came; completion need not be the whole distance. Completion is up to ur own capability. Don't need to compare myself with other swimmers. They use this pool as a workout. Me, I love water but can't swim. The pool is for me to practice and to know my status of emotion adaptability.
Then on the same tot I now can conclude my story on Completion. It is truly completed; just a changed of perspective, a change of mind. He was my first relationship. I went in because I wanted physical release and he was the right one. I am now physically released and hence completion. Completion here need not mean we have to be together in the end. Completion can means different thing to different people. Just like a husband that died from heart attack. The fact that his life journey didn't end with his wife and seeing his children marriages, doesn't mean it is incomplete. It is complete to his life.
Father, I predicted early this week that my menses will come once I reach completion; once I go with the flow. True enough, menses came after my swim; after realisation that it has already completed.
Father, just finished writing Completion story. A true finale. Yea, completion has to be seen and experienced.
I lost nothing but gained everything
Aug 30 eve
Father, a new beginning.
As Sadhguru says closing a known doors can lead to opening many unknown doors.
Also, this year my Environment card is Nine of Diamonds. So, have faith that things will turn out even much better than before. At least I now know the worst is over.
Aiyah. I have to admit without the suffering that I went thru the last few months, I may never have reach where I am. Would never dissolve my Seven of Hearts that was caused by Seven of Clubs. And the long suffering due to inability to let go was due to Ruling card's lesson in Nine of Diamonds.
My lifetime results is Nine of Diamonds.
I have lost the relationship; a rship that I was not even truly certain of. But I have gained myself, a certainty of peace. Meditation is already in me. Today after Shoonya, the meditation just continued effortlessly.
Father, a new beginning.
As Sadhguru says closing a known doors can lead to opening many unknown doors.
Also, this year my Environment card is Nine of Diamonds. So, have faith that things will turn out even much better than before. At least I now know the worst is over.
Aiyah. I have to admit without the suffering that I went thru the last few months, I may never have reach where I am. Would never dissolve my Seven of Hearts that was caused by Seven of Clubs. And the long suffering due to inability to let go was due to Ruling card's lesson in Nine of Diamonds.
My lifetime results is Nine of Diamonds.
I have lost the relationship; a rship that I was not even truly certain of. But I have gained myself, a certainty of peace. Meditation is already in me. Today after Shoonya, the meditation just continued effortlessly.
Friday, August 30, 2013
Initiate completion - upload all My Stories into www.joyong.org
Soul
I want to focus on revamping my department. The past is truly gone. Amen. And I think I just completed my Volume 4. I feel an ending is coming.
Finally Completion. It is 2 weeks of Osho Tarot card to pull me through this completion of the past.
Issue - Completion
Whatever has been absorbing your time and energy is now coming to an end. In completing it, you will be clearing the space for something new to begin. Use this interval to celebrate both - the end of the old and the coming of the new.
Internal influence that you are unable to see
Lover
At the most earthy level, love is sexual attraction. Many of us remain stuck there, because our conditioning has burdened our sexuality with all kinds of expectations and repressions. Actually the biggest "problem" with sexual love is that it never lasts. Only if we accept this fact can we then really celebrate it for what it is - welcome its happening, and say good-bye with gratitude when it's not.
Soul
It took a long while, but I can finally say good-bye
External Issue
The Fool
Moment to moment, and with every step, the Fool leaves the past behind. He carries nothing more than his purity, innocence and trust, symbolized by the white rose in his hand.
What to do?
Thunderbolt
But this inner earthquake is both necessary and tremendously important - if you allow it, you will emerge from the wreckage stronger and more available for new experiences. After the fire, the earth is replenished; after the storm the air is clear. Try to watch the destruction with detachment, almost as if it were happening to somebody else. Say yes to the process by meeting it halfway.
Soul
Yes, I met it.
And finally I uploaded all the stories for the past few months, ready to be made into Volume 4. Everytime I completed a Volume of my life, I began a whole new chapter.
Resolution
Comparison
Comparison brings inferiority, superiority. When you don't compare, all inferiority, all superiority, disappears. Then you are, you are simply there. A small bush or a big high tree--it doesn't matter; you are yourself.
Soul
Yea, just be me.
And thank to Father, a few months ago, it creates the volunteering opportunity in Isha so I can ease off. And now the next step, Father created an ending in my department so I will be revamping it.
Father, apart from ending with the relationship, there is also ending with my second in command after 3 and half years.
I was ok with the ending as we know we are not going anywhere. Looking forward, perhaps that is what happens to with the relationship. It ended because it cant go anywhere.
What matters now, is just me being in the existential mode..I found my freedom...
I found Me.
I want to focus on revamping my department. The past is truly gone. Amen. And I think I just completed my Volume 4. I feel an ending is coming.
Finally Completion. It is 2 weeks of Osho Tarot card to pull me through this completion of the past.
Issue - Completion
Whatever has been absorbing your time and energy is now coming to an end. In completing it, you will be clearing the space for something new to begin. Use this interval to celebrate both - the end of the old and the coming of the new.
Internal influence that you are unable to see
Lover
At the most earthy level, love is sexual attraction. Many of us remain stuck there, because our conditioning has burdened our sexuality with all kinds of expectations and repressions. Actually the biggest "problem" with sexual love is that it never lasts. Only if we accept this fact can we then really celebrate it for what it is - welcome its happening, and say good-bye with gratitude when it's not.
Soul
It took a long while, but I can finally say good-bye
External Issue
The Fool
Moment to moment, and with every step, the Fool leaves the past behind. He carries nothing more than his purity, innocence and trust, symbolized by the white rose in his hand.
What to do?
Thunderbolt
But this inner earthquake is both necessary and tremendously important - if you allow it, you will emerge from the wreckage stronger and more available for new experiences. After the fire, the earth is replenished; after the storm the air is clear. Try to watch the destruction with detachment, almost as if it were happening to somebody else. Say yes to the process by meeting it halfway.
Soul
Yes, I met it.
And finally I uploaded all the stories for the past few months, ready to be made into Volume 4. Everytime I completed a Volume of my life, I began a whole new chapter.
Resolution
Comparison
Comparison brings inferiority, superiority. When you don't compare, all inferiority, all superiority, disappears. Then you are, you are simply there. A small bush or a big high tree--it doesn't matter; you are yourself.
Soul
Yea, just be me.
And thank to Father, a few months ago, it creates the volunteering opportunity in Isha so I can ease off. And now the next step, Father created an ending in my department so I will be revamping it.
Father, apart from ending with the relationship, there is also ending with my second in command after 3 and half years.
I was ok with the ending as we know we are not going anywhere. Looking forward, perhaps that is what happens to with the relationship. It ended because it cant go anywhere.
What matters now, is just me being in the existential mode..I found my freedom...
I found Me.
Firstly, contentment, followed peacefulness and then silence and finally stillness now arise
Aug 30
Woke up 7.20 am on alarm. Did 5 cycles of Surya kriya, nice. Breathing meditation was lovely and peaceful. I just continued. Shakti was fine. Had tots of office and fellow mediators in second cycle. In third cycle I brought myself back and can see violet flame. Tots of the past has reduced, now more on future. When Shakti ended I was singing in my mind.
Shambavi was great. Breathe fluttering goes on effortlessly. I was singing loads. After regular songs ended, it continue to hum in tunes. After all the singing; then stillness in ardha siddhasana posture.
True stillness in body, breathe and mind.
Finally experienced stillness. I was very grateful, prayer of thanks to people who had affected me and who made me grow in my journey. I love who I am now. What a journey.
When some tots of envy came over the past. I remind myself he has form but no substance. I deserved more. Be glad for what I gained instead of what I lost. I truly lost nothing. He was never mine to lose. It was just psychological. Amen.
Father, uploaded almost all my Stories in www.joyong.org. I just wanted to upload. Once it is uploaded I felt a sense of release, a completion. The only story pending was the Existential vs Psychological mode. Amen.
Father, also I wanted to start afresh. Just received a call from Eight of Clubs/Six of Diamonds; she will join me. I m glad I chose the easy instead of hard way. Really glad I read Osho on Chung Tzu and also thanks to my boss giving me confidence.
I always said my life is full of challenges and now I know it is full of challenges cos I always goes for the best and the price to pay is challenges. I need not prove myself anymore. Life is here to enjoy. No need to fear that I don't excel. Amen.
Coincidentally today card
Ace of Diamonds
Represents new beginning, a desire to start a new cycle of creating. Aces are pure creative energy.
Woke up 7.20 am on alarm. Did 5 cycles of Surya kriya, nice. Breathing meditation was lovely and peaceful. I just continued. Shakti was fine. Had tots of office and fellow mediators in second cycle. In third cycle I brought myself back and can see violet flame. Tots of the past has reduced, now more on future. When Shakti ended I was singing in my mind.
Shambavi was great. Breathe fluttering goes on effortlessly. I was singing loads. After regular songs ended, it continue to hum in tunes. After all the singing; then stillness in ardha siddhasana posture.
True stillness in body, breathe and mind.
Finally experienced stillness. I was very grateful, prayer of thanks to people who had affected me and who made me grow in my journey. I love who I am now. What a journey.
When some tots of envy came over the past. I remind myself he has form but no substance. I deserved more. Be glad for what I gained instead of what I lost. I truly lost nothing. He was never mine to lose. It was just psychological. Amen.
Father, uploaded almost all my Stories in www.joyong.org. I just wanted to upload. Once it is uploaded I felt a sense of release, a completion. The only story pending was the Existential vs Psychological mode. Amen.
Father, also I wanted to start afresh. Just received a call from Eight of Clubs/Six of Diamonds; she will join me. I m glad I chose the easy instead of hard way. Really glad I read Osho on Chung Tzu and also thanks to my boss giving me confidence.
I always said my life is full of challenges and now I know it is full of challenges cos I always goes for the best and the price to pay is challenges. I need not prove myself anymore. Life is here to enjoy. No need to fear that I don't excel. Amen.
Coincidentally today card
Ace of Diamonds
Represents new beginning, a desire to start a new cycle of creating. Aces are pure creative energy.
Meditation now happens on its own
Aug 29 eve
Buddha
In the end, only three things matters, how much u have loved, how greatly u lived, and how gracefully u let go of things not meant for u.
Soul
I fulfilled the first two and now alas can fulfil the third one.
Had a rough day at work. Ended with a difficult four hours meeting. Reach home late and just wanted to do Shoonya to cleanse myself. Alas after Shoonya I just couldn't leave the process. I couldn't do Samyama, energy just keep on flowing for another half an hour after a deep Shoonya. I felt so cleansed and at peace after nearly one hour session.
Towards the end, I felt overwhelming thanks to all the Masters who have guided me, to Osho who has given words to Sadhguru. Meditation now happens on its own. Amen
Today got another candidate; I like her and knows that she will be a good support. Checked her card and it was Six of Diamonds and Eight of Clubs. My lifetime environment card is Six of Diamonds and currently I already got two staff under me.
The other candidate that I short listed is Nine of Spades and Four of Clubs, that require polishing. But he be good too.
Spoke to my boss she said go for easy one; no more challenge.
Anyway I offered to the older one with Six of Diamonds. She will revert tomorrow. If she declines, I will go for the other one.
For my Venus I has Eight of Clubs and Four of Clubs. So lets see; whatever will be will be. At least I did make a choice for the easy one.
Osho
Chuang Tzu
Continue easy and u are right.
Never for a moment get attracted towards the difficult. It will make u somebody - a prime minister, a president - but it will not make u divine. Easy is divine.
Soul
Lets see.
Choosing the Four of Clubs can lead to more robust department but I will needs some work to do on him. Choosing the Six of Diamonds will make things easier for me but department will not excel or maybe it also will cos she has a Ruling Eight of Clubs; exactly same cards with my friend, A.
But I don't know how the Universe will turn out cos I got Fool card. Lets see.
Osho
Chuang Tzu
The right way to go easy is to forget the right way and forget that the going is easy.
If you can be natural and ordinary, just like the birds and the trees, u will blossom, u will have wings open in the sky.
Soul
Today I interviewed one lady age 39, but looks early thirties. She reminds me of myself many years ago. I guided her to personalitypage and humanmetrics. She thanked me for giving her honest feedback. She was truly glad to have attend the interview.
She was so astounded that I am 46, keep on asking me how I stay so young :)
Osho
A simple man contented with his ordinariness, joyful just as he is, accepting himself and all that he has without any judgement - with a deep feeling of suchness that is how existence wants me to be - is the only cultured man, because he will have a grace and a beauty which these people who are trying to become somebody can't have.
U can have grace only if u relax in whatever u are. The roses has culture, because they are not competing with the lotuses. It is utterly satisfied with being itself.
This grace who lives not bothering to be in tune with society, but in tune with existence. Then the music of existence flows through him, surrounds him.
Soul
Same message as this week Osho card - Comparison. I m slowly but surely going there. Amen.
Buddha
In the end, only three things matters, how much u have loved, how greatly u lived, and how gracefully u let go of things not meant for u.
Soul
I fulfilled the first two and now alas can fulfil the third one.
Had a rough day at work. Ended with a difficult four hours meeting. Reach home late and just wanted to do Shoonya to cleanse myself. Alas after Shoonya I just couldn't leave the process. I couldn't do Samyama, energy just keep on flowing for another half an hour after a deep Shoonya. I felt so cleansed and at peace after nearly one hour session.
Towards the end, I felt overwhelming thanks to all the Masters who have guided me, to Osho who has given words to Sadhguru. Meditation now happens on its own. Amen
Today got another candidate; I like her and knows that she will be a good support. Checked her card and it was Six of Diamonds and Eight of Clubs. My lifetime environment card is Six of Diamonds and currently I already got two staff under me.
The other candidate that I short listed is Nine of Spades and Four of Clubs, that require polishing. But he be good too.
Spoke to my boss she said go for easy one; no more challenge.
Anyway I offered to the older one with Six of Diamonds. She will revert tomorrow. If she declines, I will go for the other one.
For my Venus I has Eight of Clubs and Four of Clubs. So lets see; whatever will be will be. At least I did make a choice for the easy one.
Osho
Chuang Tzu
Continue easy and u are right.
Never for a moment get attracted towards the difficult. It will make u somebody - a prime minister, a president - but it will not make u divine. Easy is divine.
Soul
Lets see.
Choosing the Four of Clubs can lead to more robust department but I will needs some work to do on him. Choosing the Six of Diamonds will make things easier for me but department will not excel or maybe it also will cos she has a Ruling Eight of Clubs; exactly same cards with my friend, A.
But I don't know how the Universe will turn out cos I got Fool card. Lets see.
Osho
Chuang Tzu
The right way to go easy is to forget the right way and forget that the going is easy.
If you can be natural and ordinary, just like the birds and the trees, u will blossom, u will have wings open in the sky.
Soul
Today I interviewed one lady age 39, but looks early thirties. She reminds me of myself many years ago. I guided her to personalitypage and humanmetrics. She thanked me for giving her honest feedback. She was truly glad to have attend the interview.
She was so astounded that I am 46, keep on asking me how I stay so young :)
Osho
A simple man contented with his ordinariness, joyful just as he is, accepting himself and all that he has without any judgement - with a deep feeling of suchness that is how existence wants me to be - is the only cultured man, because he will have a grace and a beauty which these people who are trying to become somebody can't have.
U can have grace only if u relax in whatever u are. The roses has culture, because they are not competing with the lotuses. It is utterly satisfied with being itself.
This grace who lives not bothering to be in tune with society, but in tune with existence. Then the music of existence flows through him, surrounds him.
Soul
Same message as this week Osho card - Comparison. I m slowly but surely going there. Amen.
Existential mode - trees are lovely
Aug 29
Woke up 4.22 am, body was good. Tot of my sister in my room. So I tot better skip hata so lights won't wake up too early. I slept back and wake up 5.20 am.
Decided not to switch on main light as I got the salt lamp light. Room was lightly dim.
Did one cycle of Surya kriya, was good. At the second breathing, it was non stop. Breathe just happen by itself. Didnt do breathing. Shakti was good and I was singing in my mind when it ended. Shambavi was good too. Body is moving non stop from Suka kriya. Head was shaking non stop for breathe fluttering. I didnt want to end it. Towards the end of Shambavi head was shaking non stop, contented silence in arda shidharna posture, without any stress on the spine.
Tots of past comes in and I finally decided that I m truly well, just my mind putting up last minute fight. I thank the past cos I m now more determined than ever to end my mind.
As I was driving I saw all the lovely trees on the road side. I thanked them for being the barometer of my energy level. As I was driving, little tots. Just was in the existential mode. Amen.
Woke up 4.22 am, body was good. Tot of my sister in my room. So I tot better skip hata so lights won't wake up too early. I slept back and wake up 5.20 am.
Decided not to switch on main light as I got the salt lamp light. Room was lightly dim.
Did one cycle of Surya kriya, was good. At the second breathing, it was non stop. Breathe just happen by itself. Didnt do breathing. Shakti was good and I was singing in my mind when it ended. Shambavi was good too. Body is moving non stop from Suka kriya. Head was shaking non stop for breathe fluttering. I didnt want to end it. Towards the end of Shambavi head was shaking non stop, contented silence in arda shidharna posture, without any stress on the spine.
Tots of past comes in and I finally decided that I m truly well, just my mind putting up last minute fight. I thank the past cos I m now more determined than ever to end my mind.
As I was driving I saw all the lovely trees on the road side. I thanked them for being the barometer of my energy level. As I was driving, little tots. Just was in the existential mode. Amen.
Thursday, August 29, 2013
Fear of relationship and fear of water - both deep-seated, both are not real
Aug 28 eve
Suddenly fear of past came back. I told myself breathe. Focus on my breathe, be in existential mode. Suddenly I become aware that my fear on relationship is the equivalent fear of water; truly deep-seated.
The fear is not real; just like my fear of water.
Half an hour later I calmed down.
Osho - razor edge
One fundamental law of existence, that if u can deepen ur experience in any one dimension, u become capable of deepening ur experience in other dimensions to the same extent.
For example if u can deepen ur silence, u can deepen ur love without difficulty, because its the same process.
Soul
Since I overcome my deep-seated fear of water by being in the present; the same I can do for my deep-seated fear on relationship.
Osho - razor edge
The more tots u have, the stronger ur ego. When ur mind stop completely, his ego also disappears.
While ur ego remains dominant u will remain on the surface. If u want to know the deeper realities and mysteries; then u have to watch ur tots. Just by watching, they start becoming less and less to u. And a day comes when u find u are here without any tots. From that day, u start to living on deeper levels, where life has its roots.
Soul
Living in existential mode means going beyond the psychological mode. No longer loving in our tots, our mind. Being here on earth, grounded.
Osho - razor edge.
If u can feel the opening of the heart, then u are not a difficult problem. If u can feel love, and even the awareness that this is the taste of what is possible, then u almost reach the temple door.
Soul
When I was in Dhynalinga, my heart opens up and I feel such love for it. When I feel Sadhguru's picture gazing at me, I feel his love. All these took me nearly 5 years with Isha.
So I m near the temple door.
Suddenly fear of past came back. I told myself breathe. Focus on my breathe, be in existential mode. Suddenly I become aware that my fear on relationship is the equivalent fear of water; truly deep-seated.
The fear is not real; just like my fear of water.
Half an hour later I calmed down.
Osho - razor edge
One fundamental law of existence, that if u can deepen ur experience in any one dimension, u become capable of deepening ur experience in other dimensions to the same extent.
For example if u can deepen ur silence, u can deepen ur love without difficulty, because its the same process.
Soul
Since I overcome my deep-seated fear of water by being in the present; the same I can do for my deep-seated fear on relationship.
Osho - razor edge
The more tots u have, the stronger ur ego. When ur mind stop completely, his ego also disappears.
While ur ego remains dominant u will remain on the surface. If u want to know the deeper realities and mysteries; then u have to watch ur tots. Just by watching, they start becoming less and less to u. And a day comes when u find u are here without any tots. From that day, u start to living on deeper levels, where life has its roots.
Soul
Living in existential mode means going beyond the psychological mode. No longer loving in our tots, our mind. Being here on earth, grounded.
Osho - razor edge.
If u can feel the opening of the heart, then u are not a difficult problem. If u can feel love, and even the awareness that this is the taste of what is possible, then u almost reach the temple door.
Soul
When I was in Dhynalinga, my heart opens up and I feel such love for it. When I feel Sadhguru's picture gazing at me, I feel his love. All these took me nearly 5 years with Isha.
So I m near the temple door.
When I am lost in my mind and feelings, I am in psychological mode - not real
Aug 28 aft
Feeling restless over the fact that I m unable to accept the Completion.
I tried to write the story on Completion so as to end Volume 4.
Yesterday I was feeling ok but today not ok.
When will this oscillating ok or not ok ends.
Today Five of Clubs in Mars. I got agitated at N's mail. He got really high handed tone. When M called me I just didnt want to talk. I started to draft the mail when I see M also try to push off.
Anyway, I remembered today is Mars. So I didn't keep send the mail. Mmm, Nines
Then he responded and this time mellowed down. There settled.
Aiyah. I was in psychological and not existential. Father, thanks for bringing me back. Amen.
Despite my restlessness I was able to mail out to the newspaper contact, eventhough I m not sure. I just know I can act out of intelligence instead of my emotion.
Father, psychological is not real. Then all my intermittent tots and perception that the past is not over may also be not real.
What is real; is that it is over and I m ready for new love.
What is psychological; is that it is not truly over.
So even at psychological; just a little finger holding on. Doesn't mean it is not over.
After writing this. A big breathes flows out and mind silence for a moment. All my psychological is truly not real.
Using my intelligence still can't overcome it. But using love I know I can. Amen.
Soul
Now uploading A New earth and read this.
A New Earth.
Rather, than being your thoughts and emotions, be the awareness. If there is awareness in you, you no longer need to believe in every thought you think. It is an old thought, no more.
Awareness means Presence, and only Presence can dissolve the unconscious past in you. The truth is that you need to say yes to suffering before you can transcend it.
Soul
Yea, I am back.
It was just an old tots, no more than an old tot.
It is truly complete for me but the wheel of mind is running on for a little while more.
I need not be disturbed.
I need not worry
I just need to be present.
Father, I am truly no longer the slave of the mind.
Amen.
Feeling restless over the fact that I m unable to accept the Completion.
I tried to write the story on Completion so as to end Volume 4.
Yesterday I was feeling ok but today not ok.
When will this oscillating ok or not ok ends.
Today Five of Clubs in Mars. I got agitated at N's mail. He got really high handed tone. When M called me I just didnt want to talk. I started to draft the mail when I see M also try to push off.
Anyway, I remembered today is Mars. So I didn't keep send the mail. Mmm, Nines
Then he responded and this time mellowed down. There settled.
Aiyah. I was in psychological and not existential. Father, thanks for bringing me back. Amen.
Despite my restlessness I was able to mail out to the newspaper contact, eventhough I m not sure. I just know I can act out of intelligence instead of my emotion.
Father, psychological is not real. Then all my intermittent tots and perception that the past is not over may also be not real.
What is real; is that it is over and I m ready for new love.
What is psychological; is that it is not truly over.
So even at psychological; just a little finger holding on. Doesn't mean it is not over.
After writing this. A big breathes flows out and mind silence for a moment. All my psychological is truly not real.
Using my intelligence still can't overcome it. But using love I know I can. Amen.
Soul
Now uploading A New earth and read this.
A New Earth.
Rather, than being your thoughts and emotions, be the awareness. If there is awareness in you, you no longer need to believe in every thought you think. It is an old thought, no more.
Awareness means Presence, and only Presence can dissolve the unconscious past in you. The truth is that you need to say yes to suffering before you can transcend it.
Soul
Yea, I am back.
It was just an old tots, no more than an old tot.
It is truly complete for me but the wheel of mind is running on for a little while more.
I need not be disturbed.
I need not worry
I just need to be present.
Father, I am truly no longer the slave of the mind.
Amen.
Intuitive wellness - whatever u r meant to have, it will stay.
Aug 28
Woke up in early morning and then remember today is off day and so slept back with a smile. Woke up at 7.20 am on alarm. Body bit tired, guess my downtime.
Did my asanas, improved loads. Breathing was good in Ardha siddhasana posture. Finally found the right typo.
Shakti was good. I took a quick partial rest so I can do final breathing properly. In the end my mind was singing love songs. Shambavi was good. Contented silence in Ardha siddhasana posture. I was so peaceful that I again wished thanks to the Past.
Tots of the past comes in intermittently but somehow I no longer believe it anymore. Guess that's what they meant about a distance between us and our minds.
And when tots of past comes in I remember that the relationship was meant to end and it ended.
Intuitive wellness
Practice detachment
I urge you to let go the things to which you cling.
If you are meant to have something or someone in your life, they will not leave you. People, objects and situations are woven like the threads of a fabric; the nature of the weaving will determine whether it holds or not. You can mend and patch, but if a tear is meant to be, it will happen. So be at peace with the way people and objects weave through your life.
When people practice detachment, they report feeling more joy, freedom and balance. That's because with greater detachment, you create the space for life's synchronicities to enter your journey and more fully tune in to your innate wisdom.
Woke up in early morning and then remember today is off day and so slept back with a smile. Woke up at 7.20 am on alarm. Body bit tired, guess my downtime.
Did my asanas, improved loads. Breathing was good in Ardha siddhasana posture. Finally found the right typo.
Shakti was good. I took a quick partial rest so I can do final breathing properly. In the end my mind was singing love songs. Shambavi was good. Contented silence in Ardha siddhasana posture. I was so peaceful that I again wished thanks to the Past.
Tots of the past comes in intermittently but somehow I no longer believe it anymore. Guess that's what they meant about a distance between us and our minds.
And when tots of past comes in I remember that the relationship was meant to end and it ended.
Intuitive wellness
Practice detachment
I urge you to let go the things to which you cling.
If you are meant to have something or someone in your life, they will not leave you. People, objects and situations are woven like the threads of a fabric; the nature of the weaving will determine whether it holds or not. You can mend and patch, but if a tear is meant to be, it will happen. So be at peace with the way people and objects weave through your life.
When people practice detachment, they report feeling more joy, freedom and balance. That's because with greater detachment, you create the space for life's synchronicities to enter your journey and more fully tune in to your innate wisdom.
Finally understood my tots are actually compulsions
Aug 27 eve 1
Today I suddenly feel myself slimmer as if body gone down
Went home in the evening and weighed myself. I was pleasantly surprised that my weight is now 58.7 kg. Earlier I tot I was still at 60 kg and was aiming was 57 kg with the kettle ball. But now shifted my goal to 55kg instead.
Sadhguru
The essential possibility of being a human is that we can act of our intelligence, love and compassion, rather than out of compulsions.
Soul
I used to wonder about the meaning. Now after 5 years I finally understood the meaning of compulsion.
I can act out of intelligence instead of keep on going back to the past. I can love myself instead of compulsively setting negative expectation.
I can eat out of intelligence instead of compulsive eating for taste and pleasure.
Father, food has lost its emotional content for me. Hence I need not act solely from compulsions. Sometimes I can act from intelligence.
As for the past, my compulsive negative tots no longer has a hold on me. I can now change tot out of love and compassion for myself. Amen.
Still not so great but I remember Tim Ferris's 5 times policy. Have not looked at the FB contacts for the past 3 days. Two more days to go before I hit 5; it would be a breeze then. I got myself addicted and I can get myself unaddicted.
Today I suddenly feel myself slimmer as if body gone down
Went home in the evening and weighed myself. I was pleasantly surprised that my weight is now 58.7 kg. Earlier I tot I was still at 60 kg and was aiming was 57 kg with the kettle ball. But now shifted my goal to 55kg instead.
Sadhguru
The essential possibility of being a human is that we can act of our intelligence, love and compassion, rather than out of compulsions.
Soul
I used to wonder about the meaning. Now after 5 years I finally understood the meaning of compulsion.
I can act out of intelligence instead of keep on going back to the past. I can love myself instead of compulsively setting negative expectation.
I can eat out of intelligence instead of compulsive eating for taste and pleasure.
Father, food has lost its emotional content for me. Hence I need not act solely from compulsions. Sometimes I can act from intelligence.
As for the past, my compulsive negative tots no longer has a hold on me. I can now change tot out of love and compassion for myself. Amen.
Still not so great but I remember Tim Ferris's 5 times policy. Have not looked at the FB contacts for the past 3 days. Two more days to go before I hit 5; it would be a breeze then. I got myself addicted and I can get myself unaddicted.
Venus period is for beginning of new interest in work (Eight of Clubs) and lifestyle (Ace of Spades)
Aug 27 aft 1
Today card
Four of Clubs
Card of mental satisfaction and Stability
Good time to plan for future since u are thinking clearer than ever. This card brings organisational ability and the ability to achieve a solid foundation.
Soul
Today I was productive. Now strategising a revamp of our department. Interviewed the Four of Clubs guy and met Supplier on new software system. I will be working with the Four of Clubs next month.
I felt a renewed interest in my role. Previously I knew the current second in command is not willing to grow. So I can now revamp the way I want to. She has done well but now we go second level.
I am thinking that the 52 days Venus starting on 24 Aug is correct.
Ruling card in Venus
Eight of Clubs (focus of the mind and plans bring more success and accomplishment)
Four of Clubs (organisation and clarity of mind brings peace of mind).
Soul
Focus on solving problem and revamping. And the guy I worked with is Four of Club
Destiny Card
Ace of Spades (secret, the desire for work, transformation of the lifestyle, symbol for esoteric knowledge and mystical wisdom)
Eight of Spades (success and accomplishment in work and health, use of force and will power)
Soul
This is about new beginning in work and lifestyle, that's true too.
I am revamping my department and my body.
Was updating the book, The New Earth by Ekhart Tolle and saw this:
Watch out for thoughts that appear to justify or explain this unhappiness but in reality cause it. The moment you become aware of a negative state within yourself, it does not mean you have failed. It means that you have succeeded
Soul
I have always tot I am unlovable and hence expect negative outcome on romantic relationship
Now I know it was my wrong belief that generate the wrong expectation resulting in unwanted outcome
And in truth, I can't say that it is unwanted since I expect it.
Amen
Well, now I only expect good love, good relationships
The Power of Now
Now you can enjoy and honor the things of this world without giving them an importance and significance they don't have.
You can participate in the dance of creation and be active without attachment to outcome and without placing unreasonable demands upon the world;
Fulfill me, make me happy, make me feel safe, tell me who I am.
The world cannot give you those things, and when you no longer have such expectations, all self-created suffering comes to an end.
All such suffering is due to overvaluation of form and an unawareness of the dimension of inner space. When that dimension is present in your life, you can enjoy things, experiences and the pleasures of the senses without losing yourself in them, without inner attachment to them, that is to say, without becoming addicted to the world`.
Soul
This is similar message to Sadhguru's version of us being glue man
Today card
Four of Clubs
Card of mental satisfaction and Stability
Good time to plan for future since u are thinking clearer than ever. This card brings organisational ability and the ability to achieve a solid foundation.
Soul
Today I was productive. Now strategising a revamp of our department. Interviewed the Four of Clubs guy and met Supplier on new software system. I will be working with the Four of Clubs next month.
I felt a renewed interest in my role. Previously I knew the current second in command is not willing to grow. So I can now revamp the way I want to. She has done well but now we go second level.
I am thinking that the 52 days Venus starting on 24 Aug is correct.
Ruling card in Venus
Eight of Clubs (focus of the mind and plans bring more success and accomplishment)
Four of Clubs (organisation and clarity of mind brings peace of mind).
Soul
Focus on solving problem and revamping. And the guy I worked with is Four of Club
Destiny Card
Ace of Spades (secret, the desire for work, transformation of the lifestyle, symbol for esoteric knowledge and mystical wisdom)
Eight of Spades (success and accomplishment in work and health, use of force and will power)
Soul
This is about new beginning in work and lifestyle, that's true too.
I am revamping my department and my body.
Was updating the book, The New Earth by Ekhart Tolle and saw this:
Watch out for thoughts that appear to justify or explain this unhappiness but in reality cause it. The moment you become aware of a negative state within yourself, it does not mean you have failed. It means that you have succeeded
Soul
I have always tot I am unlovable and hence expect negative outcome on romantic relationship
Now I know it was my wrong belief that generate the wrong expectation resulting in unwanted outcome
And in truth, I can't say that it is unwanted since I expect it.
Amen
Well, now I only expect good love, good relationships
The Power of Now
Now you can enjoy and honor the things of this world without giving them an importance and significance they don't have.
You can participate in the dance of creation and be active without attachment to outcome and without placing unreasonable demands upon the world;
Fulfill me, make me happy, make me feel safe, tell me who I am.
The world cannot give you those things, and when you no longer have such expectations, all self-created suffering comes to an end.
All such suffering is due to overvaluation of form and an unawareness of the dimension of inner space. When that dimension is present in your life, you can enjoy things, experiences and the pleasures of the senses without losing yourself in them, without inner attachment to them, that is to say, without becoming addicted to the world`.
Soul
This is similar message to Sadhguru's version of us being glue man
There will be more coming, no longer afraid of letting go of past
Aug 27 aft
Just tweeted this:
@Joyongorg: We hold on to people or things because we tot they are our last chance. Once we know there is more to come, we can let go.
Today Four of Clubs is the guy. We will fit. Father, thanks for the Fool card that asked me to forget about the past.
The Fool
The numberless number where trust and innocence are the guides, not skepticism and past experience.
I was fearful to call him because he has Ruling Card's Four of Clubs like S and Destiny's Nine of Spades like P. He has both. Just when I tot I handled both S and P; and here I have double combination.
And the Lover card about compassion. Yes, I have more to give. Don't close the door.
Father, the book 4-hour body is truly meant for me. One of the main reason I wanted a partner previously was on physical. I hoped for a partner that can help me grow physically. And You did fulfill my request as the last relationship was mainly only physical or rather sexual.
With the book, I can now grow further on my own. Three things I wanted
1. Loss fat arms
2. Swimming effortlessly. Swimming in open water
3. Running.
Father, my new partner will be on emotional growth. I am looking forward to try out a few of the sexual postures with him.
Father, I m looking forward to a new me.
Just tweeted this:
@Joyongorg: We hold on to people or things because we tot they are our last chance. Once we know there is more to come, we can let go.
Today Four of Clubs is the guy. We will fit. Father, thanks for the Fool card that asked me to forget about the past.
The Fool
The numberless number where trust and innocence are the guides, not skepticism and past experience.
I was fearful to call him because he has Ruling Card's Four of Clubs like S and Destiny's Nine of Spades like P. He has both. Just when I tot I handled both S and P; and here I have double combination.
And the Lover card about compassion. Yes, I have more to give. Don't close the door.
Father, the book 4-hour body is truly meant for me. One of the main reason I wanted a partner previously was on physical. I hoped for a partner that can help me grow physically. And You did fulfill my request as the last relationship was mainly only physical or rather sexual.
With the book, I can now grow further on my own. Three things I wanted
1. Loss fat arms
2. Swimming effortlessly. Swimming in open water
3. Running.
Father, my new partner will be on emotional growth. I am looking forward to try out a few of the sexual postures with him.
Father, I m looking forward to a new me.
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Two of Hearts in Pluto
Aug 27
Woke up from dream on alarm at 4.22 am. I was tired. So decide to skip hata and put alarm at 5.20 am. Truly tired cos promptly slept. When the next alarm came body was fine.
Did one cycle of Surya kriya, was good. Did a short Breathing. Shakti was good. Towards the end my mind was singing. Even from the breathing posture, i was already in. Shambavi was good too despite short preparation. Suka kriya was lovely. End with contented silence. Amen.
Very little tots.
Driving to work, the trees on the road looks so lovely. I m contented. Some tots came but I remember completion.
The nights are bit hot and I m taking cold shower before bed. Others said not good but recommended is 10 minutes but mine is less than 5 minutes. Will continue with cold shower on waking up and before bed.
As I was driving I aim in changing my perception of myself so I have good expectation on my relationship. Tot of the Two of Hearts in Pluto Destiny. Really true.
Pluto - Two of Hearts
A major goal for u this year will be to have a successful love relationship or friendship. For this reason, this is the year that u will have to make many changes within ur self in the name of love, friendship or romance.
U will have to take a different approach in ur life if u r to be successful in this area.
Ur intense desire for this closeness will cause u to confront some of the parts of urself that tend to keep this intimacy from u.
At times, this may seem very challenging or difficult, but it helps to keep in mind ur reasons for facing this situations - to have more intimacy in ur life.
Affirmation - I create the ideal love partner. Satisfaction in my love life, my friendships, and lovers are mine to embrace
Today card
Four of Clubs
Card of mental satisfaction and Stability
Good time to plan for future since u are thinking clearer than ever. This card brings organisational ability and the ability to achieve a solid foundation.
Soul
True.
Also this card happens to be one the interviewee. Lets see.
Woke up from dream on alarm at 4.22 am. I was tired. So decide to skip hata and put alarm at 5.20 am. Truly tired cos promptly slept. When the next alarm came body was fine.
Did one cycle of Surya kriya, was good. Did a short Breathing. Shakti was good. Towards the end my mind was singing. Even from the breathing posture, i was already in. Shambavi was good too despite short preparation. Suka kriya was lovely. End with contented silence. Amen.
Very little tots.
Driving to work, the trees on the road looks so lovely. I m contented. Some tots came but I remember completion.
The nights are bit hot and I m taking cold shower before bed. Others said not good but recommended is 10 minutes but mine is less than 5 minutes. Will continue with cold shower on waking up and before bed.
As I was driving I aim in changing my perception of myself so I have good expectation on my relationship. Tot of the Two of Hearts in Pluto Destiny. Really true.
Pluto - Two of Hearts
A major goal for u this year will be to have a successful love relationship or friendship. For this reason, this is the year that u will have to make many changes within ur self in the name of love, friendship or romance.
U will have to take a different approach in ur life if u r to be successful in this area.
Ur intense desire for this closeness will cause u to confront some of the parts of urself that tend to keep this intimacy from u.
At times, this may seem very challenging or difficult, but it helps to keep in mind ur reasons for facing this situations - to have more intimacy in ur life.
Affirmation - I create the ideal love partner. Satisfaction in my love life, my friendships, and lovers are mine to embrace
Today card
Four of Clubs
Card of mental satisfaction and Stability
Good time to plan for future since u are thinking clearer than ever. This card brings organisational ability and the ability to achieve a solid foundation.
Soul
True.
Also this card happens to be one the interviewee. Lets see.
Liberation - firstly need to uncling
Aug 26 eve
Just now went in deep for Shoonya. Samyama was ok cos my head keep on shaking. I can't seem to hold it.
Osho - razor edge
It is an existential reality that if u forego all clinging, ur whole life will disappear and you will find urself a totally new life - with new visions, new longings, new desires, new light, new challenges, new stars calling u for the pilgrimage.
Soul
Another reminder on Completion and Celebration.
Osho
The master is a device himself. First to help u uncling to other things - money, power, prestige, and then finally to help u with the final unclinging, to the master himself. And u will be immensely grateful that the master did not block the way.
Just now went in deep for Shoonya. Samyama was ok cos my head keep on shaking. I can't seem to hold it.
Osho - razor edge
It is an existential reality that if u forego all clinging, ur whole life will disappear and you will find urself a totally new life - with new visions, new longings, new desires, new light, new challenges, new stars calling u for the pilgrimage.
Soul
Another reminder on Completion and Celebration.
Osho
The master is a device himself. First to help u uncling to other things - money, power, prestige, and then finally to help u with the final unclinging, to the master himself. And u will be immensely grateful that the master did not block the way.
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Arthistis relates to inability to go with the flow..Completion is the way
Aug 26 aft 2
Intuitive wellness
Arthritis
The emotion that is usually found within arthritis is a deep internal tension constructed from fear, inflexibility and uncertainty.
Fear of moving forward, the inability to release old hurts that have turned inward, and confusion about the direction of a person's life can be found in the heat and chemical imbalances of the joints and surrounding tissues.
The spiritual intelligence is to have freedom of movement, freedom to be oneself spiritually, and freedom to creatively express one's self are the core teaching.
You look at the attachment to beliefs and issues that currently hold or have held you back from your dreams and goals. You need to ask what ideas, values, things and situations are worth holding onto. Only you can decide as you reach deep inside your bones and find out what moves you and how you are to express your dynamic spirit
Soul
Yea, my lifetime challenge of Seven of Hearts evaporated. I no longer believe my mind that operates on Seven of Clubs in Saturn.
And now I can flow and enjoy water, enjoy life.
Intuitive Wellness
Balancing slogan
I live in a state of joy
I am open to life
I freely express my creative spirit
I feel joy in my bones
No matter what, I love my life
As I breathe in, energy spinals around my joints and bones, allowing me to be healed, open and free.
Soul
I am surprised. But I can see this as my mantra as I am now experiencing it.
1) I am already living in a state of joy
2) I freely express my creative spirit
3) I feel joy in my bone.
And recently I have opened up to life. Despite the setback on rship, my door remains open.
Intuitive wellness
Practice detachment
I urge you to let go the things to which you cling.
If you are meant to have something or someone in your life, they will not leave you. People, objects and situations are woven like the threads of a fabric; the nature of the weaving will determine whether it holds or not. You can mend and patch, but if a tear is meant to be, it will happen. So be at peace with the way people and objects weave through your life.
When people practice detachment, they report feeling more joy, freedom and balance. That's because with greater detachment, you create the space for life's synchronicities to enter your journey and more fully tune in to your innate wisdom.
Soul
Truly another reminder to accept Completion with grace. And finally accepted breaking limitation is the way to be truly happy.
I am there.
InsyaAllah, God willing
Intuitive Wellness
Your eternal soul flows like a river throughout eternity. When left unrestrained, it will follow its own natural impulses, drifting and rushing toward the ocean of wisdom, the one true source.
Do not restrict your consciousness wit negative tots or emotions, or you will stagnate. Allow the pure, living waters of your soul and consciousness to refresh urself and others.
Allow your soul, mind and body to flow into wellness, enlightenment and peace.
The rewards; hearing your body messages, sensing the energy moving through your personal energy system, resolving emotional and physical pain and developing trust and confidence in your own innate wisdom.
Inner healing is indeed within your grasp and the time is to embrace it now.
Soul
What a fantastic Completion!
Amen
Intuitive wellness
Arthritis
The emotion that is usually found within arthritis is a deep internal tension constructed from fear, inflexibility and uncertainty.
Fear of moving forward, the inability to release old hurts that have turned inward, and confusion about the direction of a person's life can be found in the heat and chemical imbalances of the joints and surrounding tissues.
The spiritual intelligence is to have freedom of movement, freedom to be oneself spiritually, and freedom to creatively express one's self are the core teaching.
You look at the attachment to beliefs and issues that currently hold or have held you back from your dreams and goals. You need to ask what ideas, values, things and situations are worth holding onto. Only you can decide as you reach deep inside your bones and find out what moves you and how you are to express your dynamic spirit
Soul
Yea, my lifetime challenge of Seven of Hearts evaporated. I no longer believe my mind that operates on Seven of Clubs in Saturn.
And now I can flow and enjoy water, enjoy life.
Intuitive Wellness
Balancing slogan
I live in a state of joy
I am open to life
I freely express my creative spirit
I feel joy in my bones
No matter what, I love my life
As I breathe in, energy spinals around my joints and bones, allowing me to be healed, open and free.
Soul
I am surprised. But I can see this as my mantra as I am now experiencing it.
1) I am already living in a state of joy
2) I freely express my creative spirit
3) I feel joy in my bone.
And recently I have opened up to life. Despite the setback on rship, my door remains open.
Intuitive wellness
Practice detachment
I urge you to let go the things to which you cling.
If you are meant to have something or someone in your life, they will not leave you. People, objects and situations are woven like the threads of a fabric; the nature of the weaving will determine whether it holds or not. You can mend and patch, but if a tear is meant to be, it will happen. So be at peace with the way people and objects weave through your life.
When people practice detachment, they report feeling more joy, freedom and balance. That's because with greater detachment, you create the space for life's synchronicities to enter your journey and more fully tune in to your innate wisdom.
Soul
Truly another reminder to accept Completion with grace. And finally accepted breaking limitation is the way to be truly happy.
I am there.
InsyaAllah, God willing
Intuitive Wellness
Your eternal soul flows like a river throughout eternity. When left unrestrained, it will follow its own natural impulses, drifting and rushing toward the ocean of wisdom, the one true source.
Do not restrict your consciousness wit negative tots or emotions, or you will stagnate. Allow the pure, living waters of your soul and consciousness to refresh urself and others.
Allow your soul, mind and body to flow into wellness, enlightenment and peace.
The rewards; hearing your body messages, sensing the energy moving through your personal energy system, resolving emotional and physical pain and developing trust and confidence in your own innate wisdom.
Inner healing is indeed within your grasp and the time is to embrace it now.
Soul
What a fantastic Completion!
Amen
Another reminder on expectations is creation.
Aug 26 aft 1
Father, Four of Clubs and Nine of Spades.
Turn out I have to call him. And I also read his qualification wrongly.
Father, my Results Card for the year is Nine of Spades.
And now I guess thats what the Fool card wants me to do. To forget about the past. Forget about S being a Four of Clubs. Perhaps the main issue with her was the Two of Diamonds.
Now looking back at Intuitive Wellness, a book I read back in 2010.
Intuitive wellness
Thought forms create your reality. Like prayers or mantras, they are charged wit energetic levels of consciousness and certain emotional essences. These emotional charges are catalysts for manifestation.
These thought forms are the chatter that subsconsciously direct emotions, behaviour, biochemistry, and a host of other aspects of human existence.
Mastering your mind to bring about wellness takes time, discipline, self-awareness, persistence, kindness to urself and others, and a deep awareness of the universal love always belonging to you.
You can be free of your mind's limiting beliefs and your body's disorders, diseases, and misalignment if you commit to your wisdom and allow it to propel you forward, however gradually.
Soul
Another reminder. I will work on my expectations.
Intuitive Wellness.
Along your spiritual path, you may encounter dark nights of the soul when you feel lost, powerless and alone in the world.
If you experience this, write the following in this order
1. Trust
2. Faith
3. Power.
If you feel power, you hav faith in urself, in God, faith in what you are doing. Further, if you have faith, you will have trust - trust that the outcome of all things will be for your highest good. U will trust in the universal support system that weaves its way throughout nature and life itself.
Soul
Now that I know I have Power, I will be responsible for myself. I will use it to create good love for myself.
I am looking forward to my new partner.
And reading about improve methods on getting orgasm make me smile. Love to experiment with my new partner.
Ironically starting and completing relationship with Seven of Spades gave me more power, stronger than ever.
And now I can hold my Power in gladness instead of suffering.
And with the Power, I can now have Faith that I can do it. I can now belief and expect the best for me.
And with InsyaAllah, I can go with the flow, Trusting that God wants the best for me.
Father, I can't remember if I was ever this bold, this positive about myself, about relationship. But here goes, I am ready.
Intuitive Wellness
As you begin to listen to the physical, reactive anger of your stomach and become more careful abt what you put into your body, you will also begin to care more about the physical and emotional environment in which you place urself.
Soul
And now that I have undo the fear, I can now take care of my body.
I now expect good love, good support, good body.
Just as I semi retire in my career, the same I semi retire my digestive system, i no longer push it.
I am looking forward to my slimmer and healthier body.
Father, Four of Clubs and Nine of Spades.
Turn out I have to call him. And I also read his qualification wrongly.
Father, my Results Card for the year is Nine of Spades.
And now I guess thats what the Fool card wants me to do. To forget about the past. Forget about S being a Four of Clubs. Perhaps the main issue with her was the Two of Diamonds.
Now looking back at Intuitive Wellness, a book I read back in 2010.
Intuitive wellness
Thought forms create your reality. Like prayers or mantras, they are charged wit energetic levels of consciousness and certain emotional essences. These emotional charges are catalysts for manifestation.
These thought forms are the chatter that subsconsciously direct emotions, behaviour, biochemistry, and a host of other aspects of human existence.
Mastering your mind to bring about wellness takes time, discipline, self-awareness, persistence, kindness to urself and others, and a deep awareness of the universal love always belonging to you.
You can be free of your mind's limiting beliefs and your body's disorders, diseases, and misalignment if you commit to your wisdom and allow it to propel you forward, however gradually.
Soul
Another reminder. I will work on my expectations.
Intuitive Wellness.
Along your spiritual path, you may encounter dark nights of the soul when you feel lost, powerless and alone in the world.
If you experience this, write the following in this order
1. Trust
2. Faith
3. Power.
If you feel power, you hav faith in urself, in God, faith in what you are doing. Further, if you have faith, you will have trust - trust that the outcome of all things will be for your highest good. U will trust in the universal support system that weaves its way throughout nature and life itself.
Soul
Now that I know I have Power, I will be responsible for myself. I will use it to create good love for myself.
I am looking forward to my new partner.
And reading about improve methods on getting orgasm make me smile. Love to experiment with my new partner.
Ironically starting and completing relationship with Seven of Spades gave me more power, stronger than ever.
And now I can hold my Power in gladness instead of suffering.
And with the Power, I can now have Faith that I can do it. I can now belief and expect the best for me.
And with InsyaAllah, I can go with the flow, Trusting that God wants the best for me.
Father, I can't remember if I was ever this bold, this positive about myself, about relationship. But here goes, I am ready.
Intuitive Wellness
As you begin to listen to the physical, reactive anger of your stomach and become more careful abt what you put into your body, you will also begin to care more about the physical and emotional environment in which you place urself.
Soul
And now that I have undo the fear, I can now take care of my body.
I now expect good love, good support, good body.
Just as I semi retire in my career, the same I semi retire my digestive system, i no longer push it.
I am looking forward to my slimmer and healthier body.
Ekhart Tolle - Relationships are not here to make u happy or fulfilled
Aug 26 aft
Got my this week Osho but not sure of it.
My first tot was on the old one but then I dismissed it.
Now four hours later I want to interpret it positively instead of negative.
No more difficulty people. I attract only loving people. I want to be smart about it.
1. Issue
Completion
Completion of my Seven of Hearts. Ready for new beginning
2. Internal influence that u r unable to see
Lovers
When we mature we begin to experience love that exists beyond sexuality. This love is based on freedom, not expectations or needs.
Soul
I always wanted my partner that can grow and support me, Jupiter. I always believed we need not change. We complement.
3. External influence
The Fool
The numberless number where trust and innocence are the guides, not skepticism and past experience.
Soul
I believed I m beautiful and lovable. I have much to offer. What happened in the past is over. I want new love and I expect good love. No more individual drama.
4. What is needed
Thunderbolt
Inner earthquake is both necessary and tremendously important. If u allow it, u will emerge the wreckage stronger and more available for new experiences.
Soul
I changed my belief and expectation. Good love is possible for me.
I used all the tools available.
I open my door for new love.
5. The Understanding
Comparison
The way to find out who u are is not by comparing urself with others, but by looking to see whether you are fulfilling ur own potential in the best way u know how.
Soul
Yes. I am back.
(Aug 28 - I was just being grumpy. The real interpretation comes one day later)
Body
Today eat I piece of cheese sandwich. Couldn't eat second one. Father, I have started to lose emotional content over food.
Today read about the weights. A will lend me his. I m interested cos I truly want to reduce arm. It is said my arm reflect love issue. Well, its gone. I expect good love. Reading about the orgasm made me tot of the past. But I capped it and said knowledge for future with new partner. Father, I will handle this.
Now updating my blog and saw this, similar msg with the Internal Influence Lover card:
The Power of Now
As you may have noticed, relationship are not here to make you happy or fulfilled. If you continue to pursue the goal of salvation through a relationship, you will be disillusioned again and again.
But if you accept that the relationship is here to make you conscious instead of happy, then the relationship will offer you salvation, and you will be aligning urself with the higher consciousness that wants to be born into the world.
Judgement is either to confuse someone unconscious behaviour with who they are or to project your own unconsciousness onto another person and mistake that for who they are.
When the pain-body has been transmuted and you are no longer identified with mind and mental positions, and if your partner has done the same, you will experience the bliss of the flowering of relationship.
Instead of mirroring to each other your pain and unconsciousness, instead of satisfying your mutual addictive needs, you will reflect back to each other the love that you feel deep within, the love that comes with the realisation or your oneness with all that is.
This is the love that has no opposite.
Soul
Now I can see that the 'judgement' is both positive and negative. If I see too positive or too negative, it is actually my projection.
Good love...
Just updated my blog. Feeling better now. Amen
Got my this week Osho but not sure of it.
My first tot was on the old one but then I dismissed it.
Now four hours later I want to interpret it positively instead of negative.
No more difficulty people. I attract only loving people. I want to be smart about it.
1. Issue
Completion
Completion of my Seven of Hearts. Ready for new beginning
2. Internal influence that u r unable to see
Lovers
When we mature we begin to experience love that exists beyond sexuality. This love is based on freedom, not expectations or needs.
Soul
I always wanted my partner that can grow and support me, Jupiter. I always believed we need not change. We complement.
3. External influence
The Fool
The numberless number where trust and innocence are the guides, not skepticism and past experience.
Soul
I believed I m beautiful and lovable. I have much to offer. What happened in the past is over. I want new love and I expect good love. No more individual drama.
4. What is needed
Thunderbolt
Inner earthquake is both necessary and tremendously important. If u allow it, u will emerge the wreckage stronger and more available for new experiences.
Soul
I changed my belief and expectation. Good love is possible for me.
I used all the tools available.
I open my door for new love.
5. The Understanding
Comparison
The way to find out who u are is not by comparing urself with others, but by looking to see whether you are fulfilling ur own potential in the best way u know how.
Soul
Yes. I am back.
(Aug 28 - I was just being grumpy. The real interpretation comes one day later)
Body
Today eat I piece of cheese sandwich. Couldn't eat second one. Father, I have started to lose emotional content over food.
Today read about the weights. A will lend me his. I m interested cos I truly want to reduce arm. It is said my arm reflect love issue. Well, its gone. I expect good love. Reading about the orgasm made me tot of the past. But I capped it and said knowledge for future with new partner. Father, I will handle this.
Now updating my blog and saw this, similar msg with the Internal Influence Lover card:
The Power of Now
As you may have noticed, relationship are not here to make you happy or fulfilled. If you continue to pursue the goal of salvation through a relationship, you will be disillusioned again and again.
But if you accept that the relationship is here to make you conscious instead of happy, then the relationship will offer you salvation, and you will be aligning urself with the higher consciousness that wants to be born into the world.
Judgement is either to confuse someone unconscious behaviour with who they are or to project your own unconsciousness onto another person and mistake that for who they are.
When the pain-body has been transmuted and you are no longer identified with mind and mental positions, and if your partner has done the same, you will experience the bliss of the flowering of relationship.
Instead of mirroring to each other your pain and unconsciousness, instead of satisfying your mutual addictive needs, you will reflect back to each other the love that you feel deep within, the love that comes with the realisation or your oneness with all that is.
This is the love that has no opposite.
Soul
Now I can see that the 'judgement' is both positive and negative. If I see too positive or too negative, it is actually my projection.
Good love...
Just updated my blog. Feeling better now. Amen
Started my change in breakfast diet
Aug 26
Woke up 4.22 am. Did 5 cycles of Surya Kriya. It was good. On the fourth and fifth cycle the mountain posture felt so right. Breathing was fine. Shakti was good. Shambavi was bit fast but I had a singing ending. Just contentment. There were some tots of office matters.
A tot come to me towards the end, just grow up.
Breakfast only of 2 eggs without oily flat bread. Lets see. Today I saw myself quite beautiful. New beginning.
As Sadhguru says grow up. And Osho said if u lose urself, u find creation. So I will lose myself.
Five of Spades
A desire for change. It motivates you to want new things, lifestyles and experiences.
Soul
Well, I choose growth. And in growing, I have to lose myself. Now I focus on my body. Just found out birth control pills are actually steroids and hence body expanded. Well I have stopped nearly one year. No more again.
I m slowly but surely getting back my original body. Now at 60kg. Next step is 57 kg.
Woke up 4.22 am. Did 5 cycles of Surya Kriya. It was good. On the fourth and fifth cycle the mountain posture felt so right. Breathing was fine. Shakti was good. Shambavi was bit fast but I had a singing ending. Just contentment. There were some tots of office matters.
A tot come to me towards the end, just grow up.
Breakfast only of 2 eggs without oily flat bread. Lets see. Today I saw myself quite beautiful. New beginning.
As Sadhguru says grow up. And Osho said if u lose urself, u find creation. So I will lose myself.
Five of Spades
A desire for change. It motivates you to want new things, lifestyles and experiences.
Soul
Well, I choose growth. And in growing, I have to lose myself. Now I focus on my body. Just found out birth control pills are actually steroids and hence body expanded. Well I have stopped nearly one year. No more again.
I m slowly but surely getting back my original body. Now at 60kg. Next step is 57 kg.
My liberation to date
Aug 25 eve 1
Sadhguru
U r using every activity to enhance who you are instead of to dissolve who u are. Either u are acquiring karma or ur karma become yoga.
Soul
True.
Father, just now stop myself from checking FB status. No longer wants to know.
Journey has ended.
Osho
Gurdjieff
Our whole effort is to make this 'I' the witness, stronger and more crystallised and to change the darkness into light. And both things happen simultaneously. As the witness becomes more and more centred, the darkness becomes less and less. When the witness comes up its full flowering, that is the lotus of consciousness.
Soul
Tot of my Osho tarot Internal influence card - celebration
Ur cleverness is ur disease. Don't be too wise. Always remember to stop. A little foolishness and wisdom is good.
Yea. That's me. I don't want to know all. That's why I don't use the Destiny or Astrology as bible. I used as reference.
My mantra now ; InsyaAllah - God willing.
Osho
We are here in a mystery school, doing nothing else than bringing more and more crystallisation to ur witness, to ur consciousness; so that ur inner being, ur interiority, becomes a light, so full and overflowing that u can share it with others.
To be in darkness is living at the minimum. And to be full of life is to live at the maximum.
Osho - razor edge
Kabir - ignoring urself is the only ignorance. It shuts the iron gate.
The mind can become knowledgeable but it cannot become wise. It is only the heart which opens the gates. It is only love that make us wise.
Osho
Search has to be from both sides; otherwise both sides will be waiting. Existence has a balance about everything. Ur waiting is not enough; ur longing, ur search is categorically needed.
If u take one step towards God, he takes one thousand step towards u.
God is within ur very interiority. U are on ur peripheral of ur individuality. Move inwards.
U will find God, but u will have to lose urself.
Soul
Father, its like to find my Real Self I will have to lose my personality self.
Now I know why Sadhguru emphasised on liberation from ur limitation; liberation from ur personality.
1. I tot I don't want a partner - I actually want
2. I tot I don't like to swim breaststroke but I actually want
3. I tot I cannot live without meat, but I actually can
4. I tot I can't meditate but I can and I love it
5. I tot I can't do reporting I can
6. I tot I can't let go of my career but I can now on 3 days week.
7. I tot I can't drive big car but I can
8. I tot I can't do walking in the park but I love it.
9. I tot I can't open up physically but I can and like it too
10. I tot I can't spend money but I can
11. I tot I can't use iPhone but I can
12. I tot I can't enjoy water but I can
13. I tot I can't enjoy Dhynalinga but I can.
14. I tot I can't sing but I m now singing in my practices and in my mind
15. I tot I can't connect to nature but I can
16. I tot I can't go India but I can.
17. I tot I can't wear Indian clothes but I can
18. I tot I can eat Indian food but I can.
Father, so much breakthrough, so much dissolving I have done.
Now I tot I was not lovable but I actually am. It is all my misguided belief translated l into negative expectation. I created wrong expectation and I can undo it. I now expect only good love and I have good love to offer my partner too. Amen.
Osho - razor edge
The experience of God is that of immense harmony. That harmony can be achieved on it if u allow urself to be drowned in the flood that comes from all sides - of joy, of bliss, of ecstasy.
The feel of dying in the flood of God is the most exquisite and the most sweet experience.
Soul
Yes. I have experienced them.
Osho - razor edge
U disappear as a small creature and become a vast creativity. U don't lose anything and u gain everything.
Sadhguru
U r using every activity to enhance who you are instead of to dissolve who u are. Either u are acquiring karma or ur karma become yoga.
Soul
True.
Father, just now stop myself from checking FB status. No longer wants to know.
Journey has ended.
Osho
Gurdjieff
Our whole effort is to make this 'I' the witness, stronger and more crystallised and to change the darkness into light. And both things happen simultaneously. As the witness becomes more and more centred, the darkness becomes less and less. When the witness comes up its full flowering, that is the lotus of consciousness.
Soul
Tot of my Osho tarot Internal influence card - celebration
Ur cleverness is ur disease. Don't be too wise. Always remember to stop. A little foolishness and wisdom is good.
Yea. That's me. I don't want to know all. That's why I don't use the Destiny or Astrology as bible. I used as reference.
My mantra now ; InsyaAllah - God willing.
Osho
We are here in a mystery school, doing nothing else than bringing more and more crystallisation to ur witness, to ur consciousness; so that ur inner being, ur interiority, becomes a light, so full and overflowing that u can share it with others.
To be in darkness is living at the minimum. And to be full of life is to live at the maximum.
Osho - razor edge
Kabir - ignoring urself is the only ignorance. It shuts the iron gate.
The mind can become knowledgeable but it cannot become wise. It is only the heart which opens the gates. It is only love that make us wise.
Osho
Search has to be from both sides; otherwise both sides will be waiting. Existence has a balance about everything. Ur waiting is not enough; ur longing, ur search is categorically needed.
If u take one step towards God, he takes one thousand step towards u.
God is within ur very interiority. U are on ur peripheral of ur individuality. Move inwards.
U will find God, but u will have to lose urself.
Soul
Father, its like to find my Real Self I will have to lose my personality self.
Now I know why Sadhguru emphasised on liberation from ur limitation; liberation from ur personality.
1. I tot I don't want a partner - I actually want
2. I tot I don't like to swim breaststroke but I actually want
3. I tot I cannot live without meat, but I actually can
4. I tot I can't meditate but I can and I love it
5. I tot I can't do reporting I can
6. I tot I can't let go of my career but I can now on 3 days week.
7. I tot I can't drive big car but I can
8. I tot I can't do walking in the park but I love it.
9. I tot I can't open up physically but I can and like it too
10. I tot I can't spend money but I can
11. I tot I can't use iPhone but I can
12. I tot I can't enjoy water but I can
13. I tot I can't enjoy Dhynalinga but I can.
14. I tot I can't sing but I m now singing in my practices and in my mind
15. I tot I can't connect to nature but I can
16. I tot I can't go India but I can.
17. I tot I can't wear Indian clothes but I can
18. I tot I can eat Indian food but I can.
Father, so much breakthrough, so much dissolving I have done.
Now I tot I was not lovable but I actually am. It is all my misguided belief translated l into negative expectation. I created wrong expectation and I can undo it. I now expect only good love and I have good love to offer my partner too. Amen.
Osho - razor edge
The experience of God is that of immense harmony. That harmony can be achieved on it if u allow urself to be drowned in the flood that comes from all sides - of joy, of bliss, of ecstasy.
The feel of dying in the flood of God is the most exquisite and the most sweet experience.
Soul
Yes. I have experienced them.
Osho - razor edge
U disappear as a small creature and become a vast creativity. U don't lose anything and u gain everything.
Sadhguru on Adiyogi alayam
Aug 25 eve
Sadhguru
All privileges comes with responsibility. All privileges which allow u certain push; if u don't conduct urself properly u could fall off. The higher the privileges the more responsibility and involvement.
U got to be here and here not here and there.
How far we go, how far we climb, is not a matter of strength alone, its not a question of intelligence or knowledge or external conduciveness; steadiness, balance is the most important quality.
If steadiness and balance is not there, with all the other qualities u still cannot make it because u don't have the necessary balance. It is like the muladhara.
If u want to throw out ur energy out there, ur muladhara must be there.
Black holds nothing, reflects nothing. Black retains all and is a good conductor.
A creator has no purpose. Don't always go for utility.
Soul
Yea. Don't think why I had to start and end rship. Its the journey. It is not the outcome.
Its just like life; we were born and we will die, we can't carry anything with us. In our life, there is also no outcome. It is just the journey.
Now that the rship ended I can now see Seven of Spades as deepest fear and deep-seated negativity of myself in terms of rship and my own values.
I am now able to enjoy water, no longer afraid of my emotion, of love, of life.
Sadhguru
U r using every activity to enhance who you are instead of to dissolve who u are. Either u are acquiring karma or ur karma become yoga.
Soul
Finally understood why liberation from limitation is the key.
Dissolving our personality is the first step as then we can meet our own divine self.
Sadhguru
All privileges comes with responsibility. All privileges which allow u certain push; if u don't conduct urself properly u could fall off. The higher the privileges the more responsibility and involvement.
U got to be here and here not here and there.
How far we go, how far we climb, is not a matter of strength alone, its not a question of intelligence or knowledge or external conduciveness; steadiness, balance is the most important quality.
If steadiness and balance is not there, with all the other qualities u still cannot make it because u don't have the necessary balance. It is like the muladhara.
If u want to throw out ur energy out there, ur muladhara must be there.
Black holds nothing, reflects nothing. Black retains all and is a good conductor.
A creator has no purpose. Don't always go for utility.
Soul
Yea. Don't think why I had to start and end rship. Its the journey. It is not the outcome.
Its just like life; we were born and we will die, we can't carry anything with us. In our life, there is also no outcome. It is just the journey.
Now that the rship ended I can now see Seven of Spades as deepest fear and deep-seated negativity of myself in terms of rship and my own values.
I am now able to enjoy water, no longer afraid of my emotion, of love, of life.
Sadhguru
U r using every activity to enhance who you are instead of to dissolve who u are. Either u are acquiring karma or ur karma become yoga.
Soul
Finally understood why liberation from limitation is the key.
Dissolving our personality is the first step as then we can meet our own divine self.
Cosmic Lesson of Seven of Spades and Nine of Diamonds
Aug 25 aft
Woke up from afternoon nap and tot of the age 90 long range Nine of Clubs. Tot of the Osho's completion card. Tot of my own draft Obituary that says one year of my life is equal to three years of life.
My Queen of Diamonds cosmic lesson is Seven of Spades (deepest fears along with deepest-seated negative beliefs about urself and life in general)
Affirmation - I am tapping into the source of God energy and transforming all the negativity in my life into fearlessness and appreciation. I am living faith.
Soul - I truly have deep seated fear of expression of emotion, validation and mostly in romantic relationship. Now I am ready to do the affirmation.
My Ace of Diamonds lesson is Nine of Diamonds (resistance in letting go of something valued)
Affirmation - I am releasing myself from things, occupation and people that were once good for me but now have outlived their purpose in my life. I set myself free to move on to higher and better things.
Soul
So true, especially now facing 13 years card (age 39 to 51) Jupiter cycle in Nine of Hearts
Important wishes fulfilled and also cards of endings in certain key relationship. Let them go as this is a good influence for completing things or relationship from the past.
If u are involved in spiritual work or helping or teaching others in some way, an indicator of great success and could bring huge financial reward.
Soul
When the relationship ended end last year I embarked on my food karma and my water issue. All related to my body. The last resistance.
I finally overcome it.
Woke up from afternoon nap and tot of the age 90 long range Nine of Clubs. Tot of the Osho's completion card. Tot of my own draft Obituary that says one year of my life is equal to three years of life.
My Queen of Diamonds cosmic lesson is Seven of Spades (deepest fears along with deepest-seated negative beliefs about urself and life in general)
Affirmation - I am tapping into the source of God energy and transforming all the negativity in my life into fearlessness and appreciation. I am living faith.
Soul - I truly have deep seated fear of expression of emotion, validation and mostly in romantic relationship. Now I am ready to do the affirmation.
My Ace of Diamonds lesson is Nine of Diamonds (resistance in letting go of something valued)
Affirmation - I am releasing myself from things, occupation and people that were once good for me but now have outlived their purpose in my life. I set myself free to move on to higher and better things.
Soul
So true, especially now facing 13 years card (age 39 to 51) Jupiter cycle in Nine of Hearts
Important wishes fulfilled and also cards of endings in certain key relationship. Let them go as this is a good influence for completing things or relationship from the past.
If u are involved in spiritual work or helping or teaching others in some way, an indicator of great success and could bring huge financial reward.
Soul
When the relationship ended end last year I embarked on my food karma and my water issue. All related to my body. The last resistance.
I finally overcome it.
A few Nines in my Life
Aug 25
Just came back from walk in the park. Very little tots. Just walking.
True completion. Tot of the Nine of Clubs. Ending of plans.
Tot of all the Nines in my life. I said these people need to revamp or overhaul their life style, mind set or way of communication or loving.
Looking back at my life, there were many endings.
I had been wondering why so many Nines in my life. And now I know.
And I have to admit, I have issues with Nines. They are truly over-powering. And normally I concede out of my validation issue. It is ironic, Nines has loads of difficulty to change when infact they truly need to change.
Perhaps the Nines is just a projection of my own inability to change...or rather my control freak..refusing to go with the Flow.
So Completion is not easy for me..especially more so for romantic relationship.
So, at least now I can emphatise with the Nines instead of judging them.
Just came back from walk in the park. Very little tots. Just walking.
True completion. Tot of the Nine of Clubs. Ending of plans.
Tot of all the Nines in my life. I said these people need to revamp or overhaul their life style, mind set or way of communication or loving.
Looking back at my life, there were many endings.
I had been wondering why so many Nines in my life. And now I know.
And I have to admit, I have issues with Nines. They are truly over-powering. And normally I concede out of my validation issue. It is ironic, Nines has loads of difficulty to change when infact they truly need to change.
Perhaps the Nines is just a projection of my own inability to change...or rather my control freak..refusing to go with the Flow.
So Completion is not easy for me..especially more so for romantic relationship.
So, at least now I can emphatise with the Nines instead of judging them.
Sunday, August 25, 2013
Nine of Clubs in Age 90 card - surrender to the universe
Aug 24 eve
Today did an evening walk in the park. This is the first time I walk. In the first cycle I was already singing non stop and nature looks so lovely and alive. After the singing I was bit breathless in the second cycle. In the third cycle, walking in silence, breathing in the trees.
Osho - razor edge
Man's consciousness has not grown with the same pace as his scientific progress and that has been the cause of all the old civilisation destroying themselves.
Man created monsters as far as machine is concerned, but he himself remained very retarded, unconscious, almost asleep. And it is very dangerous to give so much power to unconscious people.
Soul
That's true. I always believed that man is still status quo at the days of horse carriages eventhough we are now riding on planes.
Osho - razor edge
Why human beings gone through this struggle since beginning. The outer is easier and the outer is objective. For eg, Thomas Edison creates electricity and the whole of humanity uses it; there is no need for anyone to discover it again and again.
Inner growth is a totally different phenomenon. A Gautam Buddha may become enlightened, but does not mean that everybody else become enlightened. Each individual has to find the truth himself.
Soul
True.
Father, I got back from dinner. As I was typing this, just observing my breathe and mind; just breathe happening and silence mind.
Osho - razor edge
If u become more and more silent, u may start listening to ur own heartbeat, u may start listening to ur own heartbeat, u may start listening to the flow of ur own blood.
If u r conscious and silent, more and more clarity, creativity, intelligence, will be discovered.
Soul
Amen.
Osho - razor edge
Consciousness in its fullness will give u the idea of who u are and will also give u the idea of who u are and will also give u the idea of ur destiny is, of where u are supposed to go, of what ur capacities are. Are u hiding a poet in ur heart or a singer or a dancer or a mystic?
Soul
When I looked at my age 90, while Queen of Spades - self mastery is my dream, my long range is Six of Spades in Destiny - Keeping a balance in all ur affairs. This is also a destiny or fate card. U will have major turning points that lead u to ur ultimate destiny. If u take the time to tune in to ur deepest tots and feelings, u may get an important message as to where u will go next and what u will do.
Long range of Nine of Clubs in Ruling (completion of plans, a mental disappointment, sharing knowledge with others)
U have the power to make this a graduation life and life of great fulfilment. U will experience one or important endings in ur life. This could manifest as the loss or completion of a certain line of work or people coming up against ur plans to the extent I have to abandon them.
The Universe is trying to tell u that it is time to let go of some cherished idea or plan and to move on. If u can see this and flow with the changes, u will discover that u are much better off for the ending.
This is a card of Universal Knowledge. This means a mind that able to perceive things beyond the boundaries of what we called reality. Thus many people have experienced some unique and powerful awakenings of the other soul.
Positively applied, this card could reward u with universal knowledge and success in sharing with others.
Everything good about this card comes from surrender to universe and letting go of our limited thinking.
Keywords.
Mental disappointment and endings of plans or period of important conclusion and endings, while gaining and sharing spiritual knowledge.
Soul
This is so absolutely true. Me going through my life journey and sharing it thru my website.
Its only when I faced upheaval I suffer and I found my answer. I write to release and to share my learnings
I was a control freak. Just two days ago I just realised my mantra should be InsyaAllah - God willing. That's my key word now.
Father, without A. I would have not read this. Now I feel I have arrived. I am At HOME. Amen.
Father, once again U delivers the message.
Today did an evening walk in the park. This is the first time I walk. In the first cycle I was already singing non stop and nature looks so lovely and alive. After the singing I was bit breathless in the second cycle. In the third cycle, walking in silence, breathing in the trees.
Osho - razor edge
Man's consciousness has not grown with the same pace as his scientific progress and that has been the cause of all the old civilisation destroying themselves.
Man created monsters as far as machine is concerned, but he himself remained very retarded, unconscious, almost asleep. And it is very dangerous to give so much power to unconscious people.
Soul
That's true. I always believed that man is still status quo at the days of horse carriages eventhough we are now riding on planes.
Osho - razor edge
Why human beings gone through this struggle since beginning. The outer is easier and the outer is objective. For eg, Thomas Edison creates electricity and the whole of humanity uses it; there is no need for anyone to discover it again and again.
Inner growth is a totally different phenomenon. A Gautam Buddha may become enlightened, but does not mean that everybody else become enlightened. Each individual has to find the truth himself.
Soul
True.
Father, I got back from dinner. As I was typing this, just observing my breathe and mind; just breathe happening and silence mind.
Osho - razor edge
If u become more and more silent, u may start listening to ur own heartbeat, u may start listening to ur own heartbeat, u may start listening to the flow of ur own blood.
If u r conscious and silent, more and more clarity, creativity, intelligence, will be discovered.
Soul
Amen.
Osho - razor edge
Consciousness in its fullness will give u the idea of who u are and will also give u the idea of who u are and will also give u the idea of ur destiny is, of where u are supposed to go, of what ur capacities are. Are u hiding a poet in ur heart or a singer or a dancer or a mystic?
Soul
When I looked at my age 90, while Queen of Spades - self mastery is my dream, my long range is Six of Spades in Destiny - Keeping a balance in all ur affairs. This is also a destiny or fate card. U will have major turning points that lead u to ur ultimate destiny. If u take the time to tune in to ur deepest tots and feelings, u may get an important message as to where u will go next and what u will do.
Long range of Nine of Clubs in Ruling (completion of plans, a mental disappointment, sharing knowledge with others)
U have the power to make this a graduation life and life of great fulfilment. U will experience one or important endings in ur life. This could manifest as the loss or completion of a certain line of work or people coming up against ur plans to the extent I have to abandon them.
The Universe is trying to tell u that it is time to let go of some cherished idea or plan and to move on. If u can see this and flow with the changes, u will discover that u are much better off for the ending.
This is a card of Universal Knowledge. This means a mind that able to perceive things beyond the boundaries of what we called reality. Thus many people have experienced some unique and powerful awakenings of the other soul.
Positively applied, this card could reward u with universal knowledge and success in sharing with others.
Everything good about this card comes from surrender to universe and letting go of our limited thinking.
Keywords.
Mental disappointment and endings of plans or period of important conclusion and endings, while gaining and sharing spiritual knowledge.
Soul
This is so absolutely true. Me going through my life journey and sharing it thru my website.
Its only when I faced upheaval I suffer and I found my answer. I write to release and to share my learnings
I was a control freak. Just two days ago I just realised my mantra should be InsyaAllah - God willing. That's my key word now.
Father, without A. I would have not read this. Now I feel I have arrived. I am At HOME. Amen.
Father, once again U delivers the message.
Sadhguru - glue man similar to The Power of Now - attachment
Aug 24 aft 1
The Power of Now
When a condition or situation that the mind has attached itself to and identified with, changes or disappears, the mind cannot accept it. It will cling to the disappearing condition and resist the change. It is almost as if a limb were being torn off your body.
The Power of Now
There are cycles of success, when things come to you and thrive, and cycles of failure, when they wither or disintegrate and you have to let them go in order to make room for new things to arise, or for transformation to happen. If you cling and resist at that point, it means you are refusing to with the flow of life and you will suffer.
Dissolution is needed for new growth to happen. One cannot exist without the other. The down cycle is absolutely essential for spiritual realisation.
Soul
Another message on completion.
Motivating me
Just completed the Abridged version of The Power of Now, focusing on relationship. What a coincidence. I read the book in 2010, knowing my fear in relationship and want to open myself up. I did open the door, met the guy in late 2010, embarked in a relationship with him in early 2011. The relationship drama completed in end 2012 and I am now completing the Abridged Book in mid 2013, such a perfect closure.
Amen.
Aug 26
Mmm, reading this makes me more appreciative of Completion card last week.
And I receive it again this week.
Guess I still needed further affirmation.
The Power of Now
When a condition or situation that the mind has attached itself to and identified with, changes or disappears, the mind cannot accept it. It will cling to the disappearing condition and resist the change. It is almost as if a limb were being torn off your body.
The Power of Now
There are cycles of success, when things come to you and thrive, and cycles of failure, when they wither or disintegrate and you have to let them go in order to make room for new things to arise, or for transformation to happen. If you cling and resist at that point, it means you are refusing to with the flow of life and you will suffer.
Dissolution is needed for new growth to happen. One cannot exist without the other. The down cycle is absolutely essential for spiritual realisation.
Soul
Another message on completion.
Motivating me
Just completed the Abridged version of The Power of Now, focusing on relationship. What a coincidence. I read the book in 2010, knowing my fear in relationship and want to open myself up. I did open the door, met the guy in late 2010, embarked in a relationship with him in early 2011. The relationship drama completed in end 2012 and I am now completing the Abridged Book in mid 2013, such a perfect closure.
Amen.
Aug 26
Mmm, reading this makes me more appreciative of Completion card last week.
And I receive it again this week.
Guess I still needed further affirmation.
Forgiveness is to offer no resistance to life - allow life to flow
Aug 24 aft
Father, now reviewing the abridged book and saw this.
The power of Now
Forgiveness is to offer no resistance to life - to allow life to live through you. The alternatives is pain and suffering, a greatly restricted flow of life energy and in many cases, physical disease.
The moment you truly forgive, you have reclaimed your power from the mind.
Soul
I think yesterday me suddenly thanking all the people in my past, people who greatly affected me, either positively or negatively means Forgiveness
Father, I have tot of asking L to go into A Course in Miracles, but perhaps I too should be reading it.
Suddenly I can see that Forgiveness is the tool to allow life to live through us.
The Power of Now
Every portal is a portal of death, the death of the false self. When you go through it, you cease to derive your identity from your psychological, mind-made form.
You then realise that death is an illusion, jus as your identification with form was an illusion. The end of illusion - that's all that death is. It is painful only as long as you cling to illusion.
The Power of Now
Question; Surely love must also be one of those portals?
Answer: No, it isn't. As soon as one of the portals is open, love is present as the "feeling-realisation" of oneness.
Love isn't a portal; Its what come through the portal into the world.
As long as you are trapped in your form identity, there can be no love
Your task is not to search for love, but to find a portal through which love can enter.
Soul
This is similar message to Osho about we just need to create inner space for love.
The Power of Now
Intimate relationship do not cause pain and unhappiness. They bring out the pain and unhappiness that is already in you. Every addiction does that. Every addiction reaches a point where it does not work for you anymore, and then you feel the pain more intensely.
Avoidance of relationships in an attempt to avoid pain is not the answer either. The pain is there anyway.
Three failed relationships in as many years are more likely to force you into awakening than 3 years on a desert island or shut away in your room.
But if you could bring intense presence into your aloneness, that would work for you too.
Soul
A good reminder not to close up the door.
The Power of Now
As you may have noticed, relationship are not here to make you happy or fulfilled. If you continue to pursue the goal of salvation through a relationship, you will be disillusioned again and again.
But if you accept that the relationship is here to make you conscious instead of happy, then the relationship will offer you salvation, and you will be aligning urself with the higher consciousness that wants to be born into the world.
Judgement is either to confuse someone unconscious behaviour with who they are or to project your own unconsciousness onto another person and mistake that for who they are.
When the pain-body has been transmuted and you are no longer identified with mind and mental positions, and if your partner has done the same, you will experience the bliss of the flowering of relationship.
Instead of mirroring to each other your pain and unconsciousness, instead of satisfying your mutual addictive needs, you will reflect back to each other the love that you feel deep within, the love that comes with the realisation or your oneness with all that is.
This is the love that has no opposite.
Soul
I have opened up and went in deep into myself.
The Outsider Card is finally gone and lifetime challenge Seven of Heart dissovled.
The next one is good love.
The Power of Now
It is perfectly possible for an enlightened person, if the need for the male or female polarity is not met, to feel a sense of lack or incompleteness on the outer level of his or her being, yet at the same time be totally complete, fulfilled and at peace within.
Soul
Yea..I feel at peace, fulfilled within.
But there is a also a sense of lack in the outer level.
When I am in my practices, when I am walking, when I am swimming. I am one.
I am now trying to do an abridged of the Power of Now. Truly difficult cos there is so much to share.
Father, now reviewing the abridged book and saw this.
The power of Now
Forgiveness is to offer no resistance to life - to allow life to live through you. The alternatives is pain and suffering, a greatly restricted flow of life energy and in many cases, physical disease.
The moment you truly forgive, you have reclaimed your power from the mind.
Soul
I think yesterday me suddenly thanking all the people in my past, people who greatly affected me, either positively or negatively means Forgiveness
Father, I have tot of asking L to go into A Course in Miracles, but perhaps I too should be reading it.
Suddenly I can see that Forgiveness is the tool to allow life to live through us.
The Power of Now
Every portal is a portal of death, the death of the false self. When you go through it, you cease to derive your identity from your psychological, mind-made form.
You then realise that death is an illusion, jus as your identification with form was an illusion. The end of illusion - that's all that death is. It is painful only as long as you cling to illusion.
The Power of Now
Question; Surely love must also be one of those portals?
Answer: No, it isn't. As soon as one of the portals is open, love is present as the "feeling-realisation" of oneness.
Love isn't a portal; Its what come through the portal into the world.
As long as you are trapped in your form identity, there can be no love
Your task is not to search for love, but to find a portal through which love can enter.
Soul
This is similar message to Osho about we just need to create inner space for love.
The Power of Now
Intimate relationship do not cause pain and unhappiness. They bring out the pain and unhappiness that is already in you. Every addiction does that. Every addiction reaches a point where it does not work for you anymore, and then you feel the pain more intensely.
Avoidance of relationships in an attempt to avoid pain is not the answer either. The pain is there anyway.
Three failed relationships in as many years are more likely to force you into awakening than 3 years on a desert island or shut away in your room.
But if you could bring intense presence into your aloneness, that would work for you too.
Soul
A good reminder not to close up the door.
The Power of Now
As you may have noticed, relationship are not here to make you happy or fulfilled. If you continue to pursue the goal of salvation through a relationship, you will be disillusioned again and again.
But if you accept that the relationship is here to make you conscious instead of happy, then the relationship will offer you salvation, and you will be aligning urself with the higher consciousness that wants to be born into the world.
Judgement is either to confuse someone unconscious behaviour with who they are or to project your own unconsciousness onto another person and mistake that for who they are.
When the pain-body has been transmuted and you are no longer identified with mind and mental positions, and if your partner has done the same, you will experience the bliss of the flowering of relationship.
Instead of mirroring to each other your pain and unconsciousness, instead of satisfying your mutual addictive needs, you will reflect back to each other the love that you feel deep within, the love that comes with the realisation or your oneness with all that is.
This is the love that has no opposite.
Soul
I have opened up and went in deep into myself.
The Outsider Card is finally gone and lifetime challenge Seven of Heart dissovled.
The next one is good love.
The Power of Now
It is perfectly possible for an enlightened person, if the need for the male or female polarity is not met, to feel a sense of lack or incompleteness on the outer level of his or her being, yet at the same time be totally complete, fulfilled and at peace within.
Soul
Yea..I feel at peace, fulfilled within.
But there is a also a sense of lack in the outer level.
When I am in my practices, when I am walking, when I am swimming. I am one.
I am now trying to do an abridged of the Power of Now. Truly difficult cos there is so much to share.
Completion - ending and beginning of Venus
Aug 24
Woke up at 7 am, feeling not so great and tot I should sleep for another half hour. Tot I m alone and then just said better be alone and happy.
Took shower and start my practice.
Did my Guru pooja - head shaking non stop.
Did 5 cycles of Surya kriya. Lovely. Followed by a quick Shavasana. Shakti was good.
Kapala Bhakti with violet flame. Shambavi was great. Towards the end I was dancing and singing as if I m back in Samyama program.
1. Issue
Completion
Accepting that life is full of endings and and new beginnings.
Whatever has been absorbing your time and energy is now coming to an end. In completing it, you will be clearing the space for something new to begin. Use this interval to celebrate both - the end of the old and the coming of the new.
Soul
So true. Ending of the aftermath of relationship, ending of Mercury period and now starting new Venus period.
2. Internal influence
Celebration
Life is a moment to celebrate, to enjoy. Make it fun, a celebration and then u will enter temple.
You are becoming more available and open to the many opportunities that are to celebrate in life and to spread this by contagion to others.
Soul
I am alone now. Better be alone and happy then to be with someone and sad.
Amen
Something is coming up. I can feel it.
3. Resolution
Postponement
The relief and expansiveness you will feelonce you put aside all the dithering tots that are preventing you from acting now will make you wonder why u ever waited so long.
Soul
So true. Finally over, ended. Amen
Woke up at 7 am, feeling not so great and tot I should sleep for another half hour. Tot I m alone and then just said better be alone and happy.
Took shower and start my practice.
Did my Guru pooja - head shaking non stop.
Did 5 cycles of Surya kriya. Lovely. Followed by a quick Shavasana. Shakti was good.
Kapala Bhakti with violet flame. Shambavi was great. Towards the end I was dancing and singing as if I m back in Samyama program.
1. Issue
Completion
Accepting that life is full of endings and and new beginnings.
Whatever has been absorbing your time and energy is now coming to an end. In completing it, you will be clearing the space for something new to begin. Use this interval to celebrate both - the end of the old and the coming of the new.
Soul
So true. Ending of the aftermath of relationship, ending of Mercury period and now starting new Venus period.
2. Internal influence
Celebration
Life is a moment to celebrate, to enjoy. Make it fun, a celebration and then u will enter temple.
You are becoming more available and open to the many opportunities that are to celebrate in life and to spread this by contagion to others.
Soul
I am alone now. Better be alone and happy then to be with someone and sad.
Amen
Something is coming up. I can feel it.
3. Resolution
Postponement
The relief and expansiveness you will feelonce you put aside all the dithering tots that are preventing you from acting now will make you wonder why u ever waited so long.
Soul
So true. Finally over, ended. Amen
Osho - Being and Heart is different - My heart is now here
Aug 23 eve 1
After 2 hours later after the explosive practices. I felt my heart is full.
Osho - razor edge
Question from disciple - after eight years being ur disciple, my trust in u and existence has become stronger and stronger. My love for u is very changeable - sometimes being with u, my eyes full of tears; sometimes there is deep silence, like waves drowning me; and sometimes it looks like nothing is happening. Is trust coming from my being and love from my heart?
Answer from Osho
Your question has its answer in itself. U have clearly distinguished between the heart and being.
Trust belongs to being. Being is always the same; it is part of eternity. And because trust belongs to being, it does not change the way love changes.
Love belongs to the heart, and heart is very moody. Sometimes u are full of love, sometimes utterly empty, sometimes dancing, and sometimes tears of joy; sometimes nothing happens.
The heart is very seasonal. And seasons go on changing, so love goes on changing.
Unless a great revolution happens in ur being, then ur love also dives deep and becomes one with trust ... then there are not two things, trust and love but only trust-love. Then there will always be the same peaceful joy, the same silent love energy; but love has to be joined with trust.
Soul
Exactly how I m experiencing it. Father, U truly answer. Osho, thank you for bring spot on. Nowadays answer comes even before I can form the question. Amen.
Osho - razor edge
U cannot do anything about it, u simply go on remembering and watching. Trust is enough. If love joins it, it will become more juicy, have more flowers, more perfume; otherwise trust, in itself, is enough.
Soul
So true. For me the love for Sadhguru and Dhynalinga only arose in July this year. There was a glimmer in December last year but it bloomed in July this year.
It gives a different feeling. And now I can even look at nature with love and feel their love too
Osho - razor edge
U should not pay too much attention to the changes of love. Accept them; it is the nature of love. And with acceptance, slowly, slowly the love will go deeper and will join hands with trust.
And once love and trust are together, trust is so powerful that it transforms the very nature of love itself.
But love has a dance in it, a beauty in it, a nourishment in it, of its own. Trust will become more beautiful, more nourished, more juicy, more blissful. So the joining will be a great radical change in you.
But u should not try to do it; u cannot do anything. All that is possible for u is to go on becoming more and more strong in ur trust, and accept all the seasons of love with the same attitude - whether it is smiling, whether it is giving tears to ur eyes, whether it is an empty desert or whether a garden full of flowers. Whether it has a song to sing, or is just silent, accept all its seasons.
Soul
Yes. I just go with it. While I may be recalcitrant but I m generally accepting of whatever experience that arise. I go with the flow.
Osho - razor edge
Love is a changing energy, and nothing wrong in it. With ur acceptance, one day there will be quantum leap in ur being and love will join ur trust.
Meanwhile, make ur trust more and more strong. Then trust will transform the changeability of love, all seasons will disappear, it will always be spring.
Soul
The love came a few years later. The trust has always been there eventhough I stay far away from Sadhguru.
Father, I am now facing the first love of spring. Amen
After 2 hours later after the explosive practices. I felt my heart is full.
Osho - razor edge
Question from disciple - after eight years being ur disciple, my trust in u and existence has become stronger and stronger. My love for u is very changeable - sometimes being with u, my eyes full of tears; sometimes there is deep silence, like waves drowning me; and sometimes it looks like nothing is happening. Is trust coming from my being and love from my heart?
Answer from Osho
Your question has its answer in itself. U have clearly distinguished between the heart and being.
Trust belongs to being. Being is always the same; it is part of eternity. And because trust belongs to being, it does not change the way love changes.
Love belongs to the heart, and heart is very moody. Sometimes u are full of love, sometimes utterly empty, sometimes dancing, and sometimes tears of joy; sometimes nothing happens.
The heart is very seasonal. And seasons go on changing, so love goes on changing.
Unless a great revolution happens in ur being, then ur love also dives deep and becomes one with trust ... then there are not two things, trust and love but only trust-love. Then there will always be the same peaceful joy, the same silent love energy; but love has to be joined with trust.
Soul
Exactly how I m experiencing it. Father, U truly answer. Osho, thank you for bring spot on. Nowadays answer comes even before I can form the question. Amen.
Osho - razor edge
U cannot do anything about it, u simply go on remembering and watching. Trust is enough. If love joins it, it will become more juicy, have more flowers, more perfume; otherwise trust, in itself, is enough.
Soul
So true. For me the love for Sadhguru and Dhynalinga only arose in July this year. There was a glimmer in December last year but it bloomed in July this year.
It gives a different feeling. And now I can even look at nature with love and feel their love too
Osho - razor edge
U should not pay too much attention to the changes of love. Accept them; it is the nature of love. And with acceptance, slowly, slowly the love will go deeper and will join hands with trust.
And once love and trust are together, trust is so powerful that it transforms the very nature of love itself.
But love has a dance in it, a beauty in it, a nourishment in it, of its own. Trust will become more beautiful, more nourished, more juicy, more blissful. So the joining will be a great radical change in you.
But u should not try to do it; u cannot do anything. All that is possible for u is to go on becoming more and more strong in ur trust, and accept all the seasons of love with the same attitude - whether it is smiling, whether it is giving tears to ur eyes, whether it is an empty desert or whether a garden full of flowers. Whether it has a song to sing, or is just silent, accept all its seasons.
Soul
Yes. I just go with it. While I may be recalcitrant but I m generally accepting of whatever experience that arise. I go with the flow.
Osho - razor edge
Love is a changing energy, and nothing wrong in it. With ur acceptance, one day there will be quantum leap in ur being and love will join ur trust.
Meanwhile, make ur trust more and more strong. Then trust will transform the changeability of love, all seasons will disappear, it will always be spring.
Soul
The love came a few years later. The trust has always been there eventhough I stay far away from Sadhguru.
Father, I am now facing the first love of spring. Amen
Going with the flow of defeat - BSP and Samyama combined
Aug 23 eve
Explosive Shoonya and followed by Samyama and BSP experiences combined.
On the way driving back. It was a bad jam, I took twice the time to reach home, about one and half hour. I was enjoying the trees, feeling their energy. Towards the end I can even feel their love. This may be illusion but I just feel so contented and happy. Laugh out loud a few times. Tot of E and his mail saying that his wife is fantastic. That's exactly what I said a few days ago. Partners are meant to be only if they mutually think each other as spectacular. I m sure E's wife thinks him fantastic too. My partner and I doesn't think of each other as spectacular.
Reach home before 8 pm.
Saw the mail from sister company requiring further justification for the proposal.
Just now in my car I already decided that if they still insist, I will drop the case cos it is their issue, not mine. I m only be helpful to highlight. I will accept defeat. No point banging my head for something that doesn't benefit me. Professionally risk is not big as the amount is not significant and correction will be made within next 12 months.
So when I arrive home and saw their email I just quicky replied that we have taken so much time and since they still insist that we provide further justification, we rest our case.
This is a new me, accepting defeat and choose to go with the flow. I recalled my North node in Taurus, go for easy life, need not take unnecessary challenges. Challenges I took just to prove my value. Well the values for office is no longer there.
Took a quick shower and jump into Shoonya. There were bit of tots of the issue with sister company flowing in my mind. But overall a deep one.
When I came out of Shoonya, body is moving and head is already shaking and body want to bend down to the floor. So I know I can't go into Samyama. I just go with the flow.
Then it happened. Suddenly my head was stretched back and flow of air from the stomach flowing out from my lungs into open and vice versa. This happen for a few times. I was also singing and dancing. At first was singing my usual love songs. In the end I was singing unknown tunes and was dancing. Similar experiences when I was doing Samyama program. I recalled that finally I m going with the flow. And then I suddenly feel I m back in the pool and my hand was swimming in breaststroke style. I recalled saying that Z and I were meant to flow together but Z had stopped the flow, so I now continue to flow on my own.
Also recalled that I decided to give up my compulsion for dessert, my final food karma. I cried so much over this.
And at one point, I was making hissing sound and my body was swivelling up like a snake with my hands going up above my head. Really feel like a snake that has just waken up.
In the end, after closing invocation and prayer of thanks. Suddenly I was crying loads and thanked Z, P, A, S and all the others who have been in my journey and helped me to what I am Now.
I bow down to them.
This is similar to BSP flower garland experience.
My eyes is so red with all the crying. I finished the practices around 9.05 pm. So Shoonya plus the Samyama cum BSP was around 45 minutes.
Father, something in me has changed. I have said that this year is for my body. And here A gave me the 4-hour body book by Tim Ferris.
I have always said food is my last resistance. And when I give up food, I am enlightened.
A few months ago I have up meat to be seafood eater only. There was no drama or dilemma as it just happen. I go with the flow.
And now it has reached the next level of my food karma - dessert. When I become a seafood eater I said if I give up dessert, I truly be enlightened. I said I don't want to be. I prefer to keep my food.
Reading The Secret of Shambhala and now followed by 4-hour Body brings back the knowing that dessert is not good for me.
Father, I had my max of dessert. Of late, no dessert can excite me anymore. I think I have eaten whatever dessert that can be eaten.
Just now I went to a bakery shop. The old me would have ordered the very sweet and buttery pastry. The new me just looked at it and don't feel like having so much sugar. I bought a banana pastry instead. And just ate half. This is truly a breakthrough and there is no dilemma. Once I know I cannot act dumb. Amen.
Explosive Shoonya and followed by Samyama and BSP experiences combined.
On the way driving back. It was a bad jam, I took twice the time to reach home, about one and half hour. I was enjoying the trees, feeling their energy. Towards the end I can even feel their love. This may be illusion but I just feel so contented and happy. Laugh out loud a few times. Tot of E and his mail saying that his wife is fantastic. That's exactly what I said a few days ago. Partners are meant to be only if they mutually think each other as spectacular. I m sure E's wife thinks him fantastic too. My partner and I doesn't think of each other as spectacular.
Reach home before 8 pm.
Saw the mail from sister company requiring further justification for the proposal.
Just now in my car I already decided that if they still insist, I will drop the case cos it is their issue, not mine. I m only be helpful to highlight. I will accept defeat. No point banging my head for something that doesn't benefit me. Professionally risk is not big as the amount is not significant and correction will be made within next 12 months.
So when I arrive home and saw their email I just quicky replied that we have taken so much time and since they still insist that we provide further justification, we rest our case.
This is a new me, accepting defeat and choose to go with the flow. I recalled my North node in Taurus, go for easy life, need not take unnecessary challenges. Challenges I took just to prove my value. Well the values for office is no longer there.
Took a quick shower and jump into Shoonya. There were bit of tots of the issue with sister company flowing in my mind. But overall a deep one.
When I came out of Shoonya, body is moving and head is already shaking and body want to bend down to the floor. So I know I can't go into Samyama. I just go with the flow.
Then it happened. Suddenly my head was stretched back and flow of air from the stomach flowing out from my lungs into open and vice versa. This happen for a few times. I was also singing and dancing. At first was singing my usual love songs. In the end I was singing unknown tunes and was dancing. Similar experiences when I was doing Samyama program. I recalled that finally I m going with the flow. And then I suddenly feel I m back in the pool and my hand was swimming in breaststroke style. I recalled saying that Z and I were meant to flow together but Z had stopped the flow, so I now continue to flow on my own.
Also recalled that I decided to give up my compulsion for dessert, my final food karma. I cried so much over this.
And at one point, I was making hissing sound and my body was swivelling up like a snake with my hands going up above my head. Really feel like a snake that has just waken up.
In the end, after closing invocation and prayer of thanks. Suddenly I was crying loads and thanked Z, P, A, S and all the others who have been in my journey and helped me to what I am Now.
I bow down to them.
This is similar to BSP flower garland experience.
My eyes is so red with all the crying. I finished the practices around 9.05 pm. So Shoonya plus the Samyama cum BSP was around 45 minutes.
Father, something in me has changed. I have said that this year is for my body. And here A gave me the 4-hour body book by Tim Ferris.
I have always said food is my last resistance. And when I give up food, I am enlightened.
A few months ago I have up meat to be seafood eater only. There was no drama or dilemma as it just happen. I go with the flow.
And now it has reached the next level of my food karma - dessert. When I become a seafood eater I said if I give up dessert, I truly be enlightened. I said I don't want to be. I prefer to keep my food.
Reading The Secret of Shambhala and now followed by 4-hour Body brings back the knowing that dessert is not good for me.
Father, I had my max of dessert. Of late, no dessert can excite me anymore. I think I have eaten whatever dessert that can be eaten.
Just now I went to a bakery shop. The old me would have ordered the very sweet and buttery pastry. The new me just looked at it and don't feel like having so much sugar. I bought a banana pastry instead. And just ate half. This is truly a breakthrough and there is no dilemma. Once I know I cannot act dumb. Amen.
Friday, August 23, 2013
My greatest food karma - dessert
Aug 23 aft
Father, L said my motherly side is showing as I sent her cute baby pix I saved from FB.
And I also love my little nephew to bits. Never happen with any nephews or nieces before.
Mmm, I m flowering.
I was asked to join my boss and colleagues for coffee and dessert. Instead of ordering the highly sweet sinful dessert. I went for banana butter scotch pastry. I only took the filling. The awareness that sugar is the one piling it up and also acidic nature make me hold back.
Again, not the body saying but once u know, difficult to ignore and act dumb.
And to my surprise, I was not too sad. Just acceptance. I will still eat but will manage the quantity.
Also this means my night time small cream cracker with coconut cream is not advisable.
Father, L said my motherly side is showing as I sent her cute baby pix I saved from FB.
And I also love my little nephew to bits. Never happen with any nephews or nieces before.
Mmm, I m flowering.
I was asked to join my boss and colleagues for coffee and dessert. Instead of ordering the highly sweet sinful dessert. I went for banana butter scotch pastry. I only took the filling. The awareness that sugar is the one piling it up and also acidic nature make me hold back.
Again, not the body saying but once u know, difficult to ignore and act dumb.
And to my surprise, I was not too sad. Just acceptance. I will still eat but will manage the quantity.
Also this means my night time small cream cracker with coconut cream is not advisable.
Sadhguru said we are glue man/woman - totally true
Aug 23
Father, woke up at 4.20 am. Did one cycle of Surya kriya followed by asanas. Was short of breathe for Surya kriya. Tri asana was good too. Legs up were good. Snails even improved. I lie down for a short period for Shavasana. Breathing was fine. Shakti was good as Kapala Bhakti was great. Now only need to work on the final breathing as legs was cramped and I can't focus. Shambavi was fine. Throughout there were tots of Z. This means no tots of S or office.
In the end just silence contentment. Plough back was great.
As I got up I tot Sadhguru said we are glue man. The issue is not involvement but attachment. We glued everything we touch to us. Afraid to let go out of fear of losing comfort zone. I know the glue on Z is on cos part of me fear that there is no more love coming.
And I also realised that if I can't help my glue in the mind, at least I can help what I put in my journal.
From today onward, no more Z in my journal. Tots of him will come. It is psychological and now it is up to me to stay on existential. The answer had been received.
Mind says are u sure u can do it?
Suddenly I replied I can. And I will start with 5 session.
Father, coincidentally tomorrow beginning of Venus. I may not be sure there is new love but at least I m sure old love had ended. Just like I need to delete his contact, I too need to delete him in my journal. I m not yet a master of my mind, I now need to work on the glue. Amen.
Just 5 session.
Today I also started with 2 fried eggs for breakfast instead of 1 egg on fried flat bread. I only work 3 days so can change that.
4-Hour Body
I binge every Saturday.
Everyone binges eventually on a diet, and it is better to schedule it ahead of time to limit the damage. The psychological benefits outweigh even the hormonal and metabolic benefits.
I eat like this all the time and have for seven years. Few ways of eating are this substantial and beneficial.
Soul
That's my take on Sadhana too. I have Sabbatical on every Sunday and I have been on it for 5 years. There is no guilt nor resentment as I scheduled for off days.
Father, woke up at 4.20 am. Did one cycle of Surya kriya followed by asanas. Was short of breathe for Surya kriya. Tri asana was good too. Legs up were good. Snails even improved. I lie down for a short period for Shavasana. Breathing was fine. Shakti was good as Kapala Bhakti was great. Now only need to work on the final breathing as legs was cramped and I can't focus. Shambavi was fine. Throughout there were tots of Z. This means no tots of S or office.
In the end just silence contentment. Plough back was great.
As I got up I tot Sadhguru said we are glue man. The issue is not involvement but attachment. We glued everything we touch to us. Afraid to let go out of fear of losing comfort zone. I know the glue on Z is on cos part of me fear that there is no more love coming.
And I also realised that if I can't help my glue in the mind, at least I can help what I put in my journal.
From today onward, no more Z in my journal. Tots of him will come. It is psychological and now it is up to me to stay on existential. The answer had been received.
Mind says are u sure u can do it?
Suddenly I replied I can. And I will start with 5 session.
Father, coincidentally tomorrow beginning of Venus. I may not be sure there is new love but at least I m sure old love had ended. Just like I need to delete his contact, I too need to delete him in my journal. I m not yet a master of my mind, I now need to work on the glue. Amen.
Just 5 session.
Today I also started with 2 fried eggs for breakfast instead of 1 egg on fried flat bread. I only work 3 days so can change that.
4-Hour Body
I binge every Saturday.
Everyone binges eventually on a diet, and it is better to schedule it ahead of time to limit the damage. The psychological benefits outweigh even the hormonal and metabolic benefits.
I eat like this all the time and have for seven years. Few ways of eating are this substantial and beneficial.
Soul
That's my take on Sadhana too. I have Sabbatical on every Sunday and I have been on it for 5 years. There is no guilt nor resentment as I scheduled for off days.
Love - make room for it
Aug 22 eve 1
Osho - razor edge
Love is not in ur hands
Love is something that comes from beyond
But u can make a bigger space to allow that love.
Love is not going to harm u. But love is going to destroy something in which u have been strengthening ur whole life - ur ego.
Soul
I have let in Sadhguru and Dhynalinga. I can feel and give love to them. So I will love again.
Osho
The seeker of truth and only the seeker of truth attains to enlightenment. And this is the miracle of enlightenment, that once u discovered truth, the beauty, the good, and all that is valuable simply become available to u. Enlightenment opens ur eyes to all dimensions and all directions.
Soul
I have found my truth; Existential vs Psychological. I was already not the mind's slave. And now with this awareness, my mind have even lesser hold on me than before.
Osho - razor edge
Love is not in ur hands
Love is something that comes from beyond
But u can make a bigger space to allow that love.
Love is not going to harm u. But love is going to destroy something in which u have been strengthening ur whole life - ur ego.
Soul
I have let in Sadhguru and Dhynalinga. I can feel and give love to them. So I will love again.
Osho
The seeker of truth and only the seeker of truth attains to enlightenment. And this is the miracle of enlightenment, that once u discovered truth, the beauty, the good, and all that is valuable simply become available to u. Enlightenment opens ur eyes to all dimensions and all directions.
Soul
I have found my truth; Existential vs Psychological. I was already not the mind's slave. And now with this awareness, my mind have even lesser hold on me than before.
New beginning - body
Aug 22 eve
The 4-hour body by Tim Ferris
If u want to walk an hour a day, don't start with one hour. Choosing one hour is automatically building in the excuse of not having enough time. Commit to a fail-proof five minutes instead.
Log 5 sessions of new behaviours. It is the 5 sessions that are important. Not the duration of those sessions.
Take the pressure off and do something small.
Soul
Something I wanted to do is to run. Lets see.
4-hour body
Awareness, even at subconscious level, beats fancy checklist without it.
Track or u will fail.
Soul
True. When I first bought the weighing machine I weight alternate days. Now nearly three weeks before weighing. Got to go back.
Great to know dairy (include soy milk) and fruits are main cause of fat. Whites too.
The book recommend to start with a meal. Perhaps can start with breakfast. Don't eat noodles, oily flat bread or even rice. Just eggs.
The 4-hour body by Tim Ferris
If u want to walk an hour a day, don't start with one hour. Choosing one hour is automatically building in the excuse of not having enough time. Commit to a fail-proof five minutes instead.
Log 5 sessions of new behaviours. It is the 5 sessions that are important. Not the duration of those sessions.
Take the pressure off and do something small.
Soul
Something I wanted to do is to run. Lets see.
4-hour body
Awareness, even at subconscious level, beats fancy checklist without it.
Track or u will fail.
Soul
True. When I first bought the weighing machine I weight alternate days. Now nearly three weeks before weighing. Got to go back.
Great to know dairy (include soy milk) and fruits are main cause of fat. Whites too.
The book recommend to start with a meal. Perhaps can start with breakfast. Don't eat noodles, oily flat bread or even rice. Just eggs.
Great Shakti Chalana Kriya
Aug 22
Father, wake up at 7.20 am. Surya kriya was amazing. It is like the kriya was doing me. I love it. Breathing in arashidharna was fine. Shakti was great with Kapala Bhakti in violet flame. Its like swimming. Breathe and go with the flow. No rush no pumping.
After Shakti I was laughing and then continued with Shambavi and I was singing in my mind. Shambavi was great. Towards the end I was singing out loud and dancing. Father, thank you so much.
A few tots of Z came but now I can see it and know its not real. It no longer affects me. Main thing is I m thankful he helped to release my physical. We parted ways cos we can no longer grow with each other. We both need someone that sees us as spectacular. Me spectacular in my intellectual and spiritual mode. And him spectacular in taking care of family and stretching himself with commitment. And the truth is we both doesn't see each other as spectacular, hence we are no longer together.
I recalled what Osho said about our consciousness is not mature enough to appreciate the time spent and instead have to find justification for the ending.
As per Sadhguru, no scar remains.
Father, wake up at 7.20 am. Surya kriya was amazing. It is like the kriya was doing me. I love it. Breathing in arashidharna was fine. Shakti was great with Kapala Bhakti in violet flame. Its like swimming. Breathe and go with the flow. No rush no pumping.
After Shakti I was laughing and then continued with Shambavi and I was singing in my mind. Shambavi was great. Towards the end I was singing out loud and dancing. Father, thank you so much.
A few tots of Z came but now I can see it and know its not real. It no longer affects me. Main thing is I m thankful he helped to release my physical. We parted ways cos we can no longer grow with each other. We both need someone that sees us as spectacular. Me spectacular in my intellectual and spiritual mode. And him spectacular in taking care of family and stretching himself with commitment. And the truth is we both doesn't see each other as spectacular, hence we are no longer together.
I recalled what Osho said about our consciousness is not mature enough to appreciate the time spent and instead have to find justification for the ending.
As per Sadhguru, no scar remains.
I used to be immature - closing all doors to love
Aug 21 eve
I have uploaded two My stories into www.joyong.org and also written one on psychological vs existential.
Father, I had a good massage. Throughout I focus that my fat and tension be dissolved upon touch. Yea, I had gained back some of the weight I lost. This July and August, I was using food to love myself. I was acting recalcitrant. Time to stop.
I have not weigh myself since 30 July. My denims felt stretched.
Braced myself and weighed. Didnt go up. Great. Guess not eating meat helps. But great if can go down further.
Osho - razor edge
Suchness - remember not as a word but as a feeling. There is no grudge, no complaint, no desire that things should be different than they are. A tremendous acceptance arises. This acceptance is real and authentic religiousness.
Soul
Truly to be able to say God willing with acceptance is great. Yes, I would like to use that God willing cos I know not what is best for me.
Osho - razor edge
U want love but u don't accept the shadow of it. Fear is as natural as love.
Love is like a breeze that comes and you can enjoy it and u can dance with it, but u cannot hold it in ur fist.
Hence the fear that as soon as it has come it may go.
But if u meditate on the whole problem - if it has come - the breeze, the love, the joy - existence is not exhausted; it will be coming again and again.
And the more mature u become, the more is the possibility of love coming to u. And ur maturity will soon be that u don't close the windows and doors to keep love imprisoned - that is childish.
And the fear is that the love will come and will go - u cannot control it.
There are only 2 ways.
One is that of an immature person, who will close his windows before love enters in so that he is safe from the misery, from the pain, from the fear that love may leave him.
He is safe but this safety is costly. And because he wants to be safe and he is afraid, love may be strong enough .., it may be a storm and may open the windows and doors. Not to take the risk, u say close the doors and windows and u escape from the back door. This is the way of immature person.
Soul
That's what I did for many years. I foolishly convinced myself I don't want love. Later I knew it was fear. But still I can't open my doors until after Isha.
After gaining courage from Isha tools, I opened up and fell in love with Z. But after more than one year and he still didn't love me, fear arise and I closed down and asked for break up. After fear subside during my ashram experience in December 2012, I asked for return but by then he was already engaged.
Finally losing him made me realise that I truly want love. But fear came on the aftermath suffering.
After ashram in July I am back now I want to love again. This time I expect good love. Lifetime Seven of Hearts has dissolved.
Osho
The mature person will make as many doors and as many windows or even live in the open where breezes are coming and flowing.
And each time the breeze goes, he knows deep in his heart that this is only a moment of rest; a fresher breeze with more fragrance will be coming.
And it goes on happening again and again, one becomes more and more mature, and the fear fades away. It just become what it is - negative shadow; it has no existence.
Soul
Wow! Really great and timely message. Just after I had contact with Z, being myself.
Osho - razor edge
Love is a test - if it feels too much, that means ur consciousness is too small.
Rather than being worried about love, u should be more concerned about expanding ur consciousness ... a few more acres are needed.
And whenever it feels too much, always remember u need more space. Love is never too much, it is always that the space is too small. Ur insistence should be on the space, because that is in ur hands, up make it bigger or not.
Love is not in ur hands. Love is something that comes from beyond.
I have uploaded two My stories into www.joyong.org and also written one on psychological vs existential.
Father, I had a good massage. Throughout I focus that my fat and tension be dissolved upon touch. Yea, I had gained back some of the weight I lost. This July and August, I was using food to love myself. I was acting recalcitrant. Time to stop.
I have not weigh myself since 30 July. My denims felt stretched.
Braced myself and weighed. Didnt go up. Great. Guess not eating meat helps. But great if can go down further.
Osho - razor edge
Suchness - remember not as a word but as a feeling. There is no grudge, no complaint, no desire that things should be different than they are. A tremendous acceptance arises. This acceptance is real and authentic religiousness.
Soul
Truly to be able to say God willing with acceptance is great. Yes, I would like to use that God willing cos I know not what is best for me.
Osho - razor edge
U want love but u don't accept the shadow of it. Fear is as natural as love.
Love is like a breeze that comes and you can enjoy it and u can dance with it, but u cannot hold it in ur fist.
Hence the fear that as soon as it has come it may go.
But if u meditate on the whole problem - if it has come - the breeze, the love, the joy - existence is not exhausted; it will be coming again and again.
And the more mature u become, the more is the possibility of love coming to u. And ur maturity will soon be that u don't close the windows and doors to keep love imprisoned - that is childish.
And the fear is that the love will come and will go - u cannot control it.
There are only 2 ways.
One is that of an immature person, who will close his windows before love enters in so that he is safe from the misery, from the pain, from the fear that love may leave him.
He is safe but this safety is costly. And because he wants to be safe and he is afraid, love may be strong enough .., it may be a storm and may open the windows and doors. Not to take the risk, u say close the doors and windows and u escape from the back door. This is the way of immature person.
Soul
That's what I did for many years. I foolishly convinced myself I don't want love. Later I knew it was fear. But still I can't open my doors until after Isha.
After gaining courage from Isha tools, I opened up and fell in love with Z. But after more than one year and he still didn't love me, fear arise and I closed down and asked for break up. After fear subside during my ashram experience in December 2012, I asked for return but by then he was already engaged.
Finally losing him made me realise that I truly want love. But fear came on the aftermath suffering.
After ashram in July I am back now I want to love again. This time I expect good love. Lifetime Seven of Hearts has dissolved.
Osho
The mature person will make as many doors and as many windows or even live in the open where breezes are coming and flowing.
And each time the breeze goes, he knows deep in his heart that this is only a moment of rest; a fresher breeze with more fragrance will be coming.
And it goes on happening again and again, one becomes more and more mature, and the fear fades away. It just become what it is - negative shadow; it has no existence.
Soul
Wow! Really great and timely message. Just after I had contact with Z, being myself.
Osho - razor edge
Love is a test - if it feels too much, that means ur consciousness is too small.
Rather than being worried about love, u should be more concerned about expanding ur consciousness ... a few more acres are needed.
And whenever it feels too much, always remember u need more space. Love is never too much, it is always that the space is too small. Ur insistence should be on the space, because that is in ur hands, up make it bigger or not.
Love is not in ur hands. Love is something that comes from beyond.
Venus in Eight of Clubs (Ruling) and Ace of Spades (Destiny)
Venus 24 aug to 15 oct
Ruling card
Eight of Clubs (focus of the mind and plans bring more success and accomplishment)
The power of the mind can bring money and success during the Venus period especially with respect to women. It can mean a development of psychic powers or the feminine side.
A powerful stabilising influence that will provide very good results.
Four of Clubs (organisation and clarity of mind brings peace of mind)
Experience of mental peace. Good time to make plans for the future
This is a very good influence, indicating satisfaction and happiness in the home, marriage or in ur personal life if u r single.
Having knowledge of a comforting nature is also a possibility and happiness in the company of others who share similar intellectual tastes as urself. Most of ur friendships will be going smoothly now and the only possible negative aspect of this influence is a tendency towards mental stubbornness and fixedness.
Destiny Card
Ace of Spades (secret, the desire for work, transformation of the lifestyle, symbol for esoteric knowledge and mystical wisdom)
This could also be secret plans, hopes or secret desire for money and luxury.
This card also holds the promise of spiritual resolutions to some of ur mundane problems.
This a process of death and rebirth. U will probably experience an ending and a beginning somehow related to ur love life and family.
Eight of Spades (success and accomplishment in work and health, use of force and will power)
During this period, an active and productive social life will bring many rewards. Ur job could bring in much money and social success.
A powerful and steadying influence.
Ruling card
Eight of Clubs (focus of the mind and plans bring more success and accomplishment)
The power of the mind can bring money and success during the Venus period especially with respect to women. It can mean a development of psychic powers or the feminine side.
A powerful stabilising influence that will provide very good results.
Four of Clubs (organisation and clarity of mind brings peace of mind)
Experience of mental peace. Good time to make plans for the future
This is a very good influence, indicating satisfaction and happiness in the home, marriage or in ur personal life if u r single.
Having knowledge of a comforting nature is also a possibility and happiness in the company of others who share similar intellectual tastes as urself. Most of ur friendships will be going smoothly now and the only possible negative aspect of this influence is a tendency towards mental stubbornness and fixedness.
Destiny Card
Ace of Spades (secret, the desire for work, transformation of the lifestyle, symbol for esoteric knowledge and mystical wisdom)
This could also be secret plans, hopes or secret desire for money and luxury.
This card also holds the promise of spiritual resolutions to some of ur mundane problems.
This a process of death and rebirth. U will probably experience an ending and a beginning somehow related to ur love life and family.
Eight of Spades (success and accomplishment in work and health, use of force and will power)
During this period, an active and productive social life will bring many rewards. Ur job could bring in much money and social success.
A powerful and steadying influence.
No going back to Past
Aug 21
Woke up around 5 am and remember that its off day. So slept back and wake up upon alarm at 7.20 am.
Did one cycle of Surya kriya and asanas. I can now touch forehead to two knees much more easily. Overall good improvement.
Breathing in arashidharna posture was good.
Shakti was great. I can now see violet flame in Kapala Bhakti. Shambavi was good too. Towards the end contented silence in arashidharna posture. Lovely. Sat for quite awhile. Amen. Thanks for the tools.
Sadhguru said without Sadhana there is no way out. But Sadhana is not the only way. So true.
Father, our event not going well. I can only reach out to some people. I informed Z too cos he got many friends.
Father, for a moment I hesitate but then I tot it is over. He and I have to reach a new communication platform as we might meet in future.
Especially when I know his wife will come in future. Might as well get it over, be natural. I also got Nine of Diamonds. I am good at let go too once mind is made up.
Even yesterday Mind starts to create negative tots but I said it is over. Even if he had betrayed me since day one, the outcome is the same. No need to go backward. What I know for sure is he is not right for my Jupiter, for me to grow my spectacular self.
Since no reply from the msg I sent to two friends, my mind start something but I just stay here.
I didn't come so far to be so easily swayed.
I m fine.
Woke up around 5 am and remember that its off day. So slept back and wake up upon alarm at 7.20 am.
Did one cycle of Surya kriya and asanas. I can now touch forehead to two knees much more easily. Overall good improvement.
Breathing in arashidharna posture was good.
Shakti was great. I can now see violet flame in Kapala Bhakti. Shambavi was good too. Towards the end contented silence in arashidharna posture. Lovely. Sat for quite awhile. Amen. Thanks for the tools.
Sadhguru said without Sadhana there is no way out. But Sadhana is not the only way. So true.
Father, our event not going well. I can only reach out to some people. I informed Z too cos he got many friends.
Father, for a moment I hesitate but then I tot it is over. He and I have to reach a new communication platform as we might meet in future.
Especially when I know his wife will come in future. Might as well get it over, be natural. I also got Nine of Diamonds. I am good at let go too once mind is made up.
Even yesterday Mind starts to create negative tots but I said it is over. Even if he had betrayed me since day one, the outcome is the same. No need to go backward. What I know for sure is he is not right for my Jupiter, for me to grow my spectacular self.
Since no reply from the msg I sent to two friends, my mind start something but I just stay here.
I didn't come so far to be so easily swayed.
I m fine.
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
When love descends, its very intensity appears like pain - my experience in Dhynalinga
Aug 20 eve
Feeling tired.
Been a long day and also the buffet at work didnt help. Truly food does not support.
Didnt do my evening practices.
Received some information on Z and wife today. I was able to share with a friend. I was told that Z's wife is completely different than me.
Mind wanted to go into negative tots. I remind myself not to go into psychological mode. Stay in existential mode.
Osho - razor edge
Be sincere and truthful, and ur joy will know no bounds.
Allow that which is dying; help it to die - the sooner it dies the better. Then whatever remains will be ur innocence - the individuality that u had brought into the world, but which the world corrupted.
Soul
Tot of my personality with Z. I was wounded and now i n healed. Allow it to die. I m single. I m back again. I know I will love again.
Osho - razor edge
When too much love descends upon u, its very intensity appears like pain.
Anything which you are unprepared for - it may be bliss, it may be joy - will be so intense in the beginning that it will tend to appear just like pain.
When love comes to u without asking, from a source u never expected, never tot of, never hoped for, u never had the idea that u deserve it or u r worthy of it .., the whole ocean pours into ur heart. It feels as if u r bursting, dying. It is immensely painful. But at the same time u can feel the distinction. It is very close to pain but it is not pain.
Ur mind interpret as pain whereas ur being feels gratitude.
Soul
When I first connected to Dhynalinga back in Dec 2012 after4 years. I recalled I was in such pain. As if all my suffering overflow. Then joy arise and I laugh loads. I can see Dhynalinga with much love now.
Feeling tired.
Been a long day and also the buffet at work didnt help. Truly food does not support.
Didnt do my evening practices.
Received some information on Z and wife today. I was able to share with a friend. I was told that Z's wife is completely different than me.
Mind wanted to go into negative tots. I remind myself not to go into psychological mode. Stay in existential mode.
Osho - razor edge
Be sincere and truthful, and ur joy will know no bounds.
Allow that which is dying; help it to die - the sooner it dies the better. Then whatever remains will be ur innocence - the individuality that u had brought into the world, but which the world corrupted.
Soul
Tot of my personality with Z. I was wounded and now i n healed. Allow it to die. I m single. I m back again. I know I will love again.
Osho - razor edge
When too much love descends upon u, its very intensity appears like pain.
Anything which you are unprepared for - it may be bliss, it may be joy - will be so intense in the beginning that it will tend to appear just like pain.
When love comes to u without asking, from a source u never expected, never tot of, never hoped for, u never had the idea that u deserve it or u r worthy of it .., the whole ocean pours into ur heart. It feels as if u r bursting, dying. It is immensely painful. But at the same time u can feel the distinction. It is very close to pain but it is not pain.
Ur mind interpret as pain whereas ur being feels gratitude.
Soul
When I first connected to Dhynalinga back in Dec 2012 after4 years. I recalled I was in such pain. As if all my suffering overflow. Then joy arise and I laugh loads. I can see Dhynalinga with much love now.
Completion - ending and beginning
Aug 20 aft
Father, confirmed again with W. It was a pull factor. Just let it be. Guess in the end everyone had their own perception. Although W is having bad breathe, which means that she is stressed.
Was bit off today but glad for Shoonya. Feel so much rested. It was a shutdown and I cannot hear any tots in my mind.
1. Issue
Completion
Even in the ever changing flow of life, there are moments in which we come to a point of completion. Whatever has been absorbing ur time and energy is now coming to an end. In completing u will be clearing the space for something new to begin.
Soul
Completion of Z, there be a change of Second in command. C is leaving us.
I know that I be taking charge of Finance again, growing it proper.
Beginning of aware of existential vs psychological mode.
2. Internal
Celebration
Life is a moment to celebrate, to enjoy. Make it fun, a celebration and then u will enter the temple.
A little foolishness and a little wisdom is good, and the right combination makes u a Buddha.
Soul
This week bit heavy with the resignation of W and unexpected drama from S. Not sure on celebration.
3. External influence
Stress
The quality of stress visit us at times, but perfectionists are particularly vulnerable to it.
Soul
True. Firstly with resignation of W and the fact her last days coincide with my Samyama program. Then with the fact that certain operational controls are lost. Need to get that in place. Then drama from S.
4. What is needed for resolution?
Creator
The mystic works on himself, his own being. And he is the real creator, the real poet because he makes himself into a masterpiece
U r carrying a masterpiece hidden within u, but u r standing in the way. Just move aside.
Drop the idea of becoming someone, because u are already a masterpiece.
Soul
Father, the old me would have been disturbed over S. The new me keep things at bay as I can see when I m in psychological or existential mode.
As for W leaving, its ok. I was not happy cos department has fallen bit. So new undertaking.
5. The Understanding
Postponement
The relief and expansiveness u will feel once u put aside all the dithering tots that are preventing u from acting will now make u wonder why u ever waited so long.
Firstly contacted Z via FB and told him open about group meet. Lifting the veil. But contact still remain deleted as I just released the glue, don't want to be stuck again.
Secondly told S that we should not work together. The ending was unexpected but at least honesty is there. Ended the karma card.
Thirdly confronted W when I received feedback that she was leaving because of feeling overwhelmed. I no longer take
Father, confirmed again with W. It was a pull factor. Just let it be. Guess in the end everyone had their own perception. Although W is having bad breathe, which means that she is stressed.
Was bit off today but glad for Shoonya. Feel so much rested. It was a shutdown and I cannot hear any tots in my mind.
1. Issue
Completion
Even in the ever changing flow of life, there are moments in which we come to a point of completion. Whatever has been absorbing ur time and energy is now coming to an end. In completing u will be clearing the space for something new to begin.
Soul
Completion of Z, there be a change of Second in command. C is leaving us.
I know that I be taking charge of Finance again, growing it proper.
Beginning of aware of existential vs psychological mode.
2. Internal
Celebration
Life is a moment to celebrate, to enjoy. Make it fun, a celebration and then u will enter the temple.
A little foolishness and a little wisdom is good, and the right combination makes u a Buddha.
Soul
This week bit heavy with the resignation of W and unexpected drama from S. Not sure on celebration.
3. External influence
Stress
The quality of stress visit us at times, but perfectionists are particularly vulnerable to it.
Soul
True. Firstly with resignation of W and the fact her last days coincide with my Samyama program. Then with the fact that certain operational controls are lost. Need to get that in place. Then drama from S.
4. What is needed for resolution?
Creator
The mystic works on himself, his own being. And he is the real creator, the real poet because he makes himself into a masterpiece
U r carrying a masterpiece hidden within u, but u r standing in the way. Just move aside.
Drop the idea of becoming someone, because u are already a masterpiece.
Soul
Father, the old me would have been disturbed over S. The new me keep things at bay as I can see when I m in psychological or existential mode.
As for W leaving, its ok. I was not happy cos department has fallen bit. So new undertaking.
5. The Understanding
Postponement
The relief and expansiveness u will feel once u put aside all the dithering tots that are preventing u from acting will now make u wonder why u ever waited so long.
Firstly contacted Z via FB and told him open about group meet. Lifting the veil. But contact still remain deleted as I just released the glue, don't want to be stuck again.
Secondly told S that we should not work together. The ending was unexpected but at least honesty is there. Ended the karma card.
Thirdly confronted W when I received feedback that she was leaving because of feeling overwhelmed. I no longer take
The Secret of Shambhala - all supporting my growth
Aug 20
Woke up 4,22 am, feeling but tired. First tot of S. wish she can get through her anger and see how her fears made her. Especially now that I know Helps doesn't come when we are at fear mode.
Did 5 cycles of Surya kriya, truly lovely. Breathing was fine too and Shakti was great with violet flame from Suka Kriya continues to Kapala Bhakti. Shambavi was good too. Plough back was great. As I was resting after plough back I doze off and had a dream of E and wife talking. E's wife beg him not to go into his black hole. I woke up. Feeling but lethargic but fine.
The secret of Shambhala
Every negative assumption or expectation that we make about another human being is a prayer that goes out and acts to create that reality in that person.
Soul
S said I treat her as work horse, which is true cos that's her forte. And she is proud of it and too proud even to cultivate good working rship. She said she has changed and matured but unfortunately not. And now lessons doubly difficult.
But I hope she will move beyond that. She do deserve an easier time. But if she still proud of it, work horse period continued
I recalled my work challenges ended when I said that challenges no longer validates me, I no longer need it to feel valuable. That's when challenges evaporate.
The secret of Shambhala
1. First Extension
Heavy and processed foods build up acid solids in our molecular structures, lowering our vibration and eventually causing disease. Alive foods have an alkaline effect and enhance our vibration.
The purer we vibrate, the easier the it is then we can connect with the subtle energies available within us. We will learn to consistently breathe in this higher level of energy using our increased perception of beauty as a measure. The higher our level of energy, the more beauty we see. We can learn to visualise this higher level of energy flowing out from us into the world, likewise using the emotional state of love as a measure that is occurring.
2. Second Extension
We set this extended prayer field to enhance synchronistic flow of our lives. We do this by staying in a state of conscious alertness and expectation for the next intuition or coincidence that moves our lives even further along.
This expectation sends our energy out even farther and makes it stronger, because we are now aligning our intentions with the intended process of growth and evolution into the universe itself.
3. Third Extension
It involves another expectation: that our prayer field go out and boost the level of energy in others, lifting them into their own connection with the divine within and into their own higher self intuition. This will then increases the likelihood of them giving us intuitive information that can further enhance our own level of synchronicity.
4. Fourth Extension
The importance of anchoring and maintaining the outflow of our energy, inspite of fearful or angry situations.
We do this by always maintaining a particular process of detachment towards events as they occur, even as we expect the process itself to carry on.
We must always seek a positive meaning, and always expect the process to save us, no matter what is happening. Such a mental posture helps us to stay focused on the flow and keep us from dwelling on the negative images of what might occur if we fail.
Woke up 4,22 am, feeling but tired. First tot of S. wish she can get through her anger and see how her fears made her. Especially now that I know Helps doesn't come when we are at fear mode.
Did 5 cycles of Surya kriya, truly lovely. Breathing was fine too and Shakti was great with violet flame from Suka Kriya continues to Kapala Bhakti. Shambavi was good too. Plough back was great. As I was resting after plough back I doze off and had a dream of E and wife talking. E's wife beg him not to go into his black hole. I woke up. Feeling but lethargic but fine.
The secret of Shambhala
Every negative assumption or expectation that we make about another human being is a prayer that goes out and acts to create that reality in that person.
Soul
S said I treat her as work horse, which is true cos that's her forte. And she is proud of it and too proud even to cultivate good working rship. She said she has changed and matured but unfortunately not. And now lessons doubly difficult.
But I hope she will move beyond that. She do deserve an easier time. But if she still proud of it, work horse period continued
I recalled my work challenges ended when I said that challenges no longer validates me, I no longer need it to feel valuable. That's when challenges evaporate.
The secret of Shambhala
1. First Extension
Heavy and processed foods build up acid solids in our molecular structures, lowering our vibration and eventually causing disease. Alive foods have an alkaline effect and enhance our vibration.
The purer we vibrate, the easier the it is then we can connect with the subtle energies available within us. We will learn to consistently breathe in this higher level of energy using our increased perception of beauty as a measure. The higher our level of energy, the more beauty we see. We can learn to visualise this higher level of energy flowing out from us into the world, likewise using the emotional state of love as a measure that is occurring.
2. Second Extension
We set this extended prayer field to enhance synchronistic flow of our lives. We do this by staying in a state of conscious alertness and expectation for the next intuition or coincidence that moves our lives even further along.
This expectation sends our energy out even farther and makes it stronger, because we are now aligning our intentions with the intended process of growth and evolution into the universe itself.
3. Third Extension
It involves another expectation: that our prayer field go out and boost the level of energy in others, lifting them into their own connection with the divine within and into their own higher self intuition. This will then increases the likelihood of them giving us intuitive information that can further enhance our own level of synchronicity.
4. Fourth Extension
The importance of anchoring and maintaining the outflow of our energy, inspite of fearful or angry situations.
We do this by always maintaining a particular process of detachment towards events as they occur, even as we expect the process itself to carry on.
We must always seek a positive meaning, and always expect the process to save us, no matter what is happening. Such a mental posture helps us to stay focused on the flow and keep us from dwelling on the negative images of what might occur if we fail.
Explosive Samyama
Aug 19 eve
Soul
If we need to consciously select partner that helps our growth, then the same for friends too.
No wonder I was not keen on some old friends. The same as D was not keen on me. Or even V who always seems to be busy.
What an explosive Samyama. Firstly a deep silence for Shoonya and then Arashidharna posture for Samyama. Just sitting there contently with spine reasonably erect. After a good plough back, my head was shaking non stop. My head was thrown backward and lungs open up with air flowing in and out. After that head shakes even further. I just didnt want up come out. In the end I had to force myself to come out. Amen
Father, thank U for everything.
Soul
If we need to consciously select partner that helps our growth, then the same for friends too.
No wonder I was not keen on some old friends. The same as D was not keen on me. Or even V who always seems to be busy.
What an explosive Samyama. Firstly a deep silence for Shoonya and then Arashidharna posture for Samyama. Just sitting there contently with spine reasonably erect. After a good plough back, my head was shaking non stop. My head was thrown backward and lungs open up with air flowing in and out. After that head shakes even further. I just didnt want up come out. In the end I had to force myself to come out. Amen
Father, thank U for everything.
Ending my 1st karma card in Ruling - Second of Diamonds
Aug 19 aft
Father, a tot came. Slowly but surely my parameter is coming in. I got hope for my RA.
As for S, once again trying to put a new person as 'better' than me. Saying even a stranger won't do this, and me a so called friend. Well, enough is enough. I have paid enough to her. Finally completing my Ace of Diamonds karma.
After a long journey I m back.
I know both S and W is in their psychological mode. So the more I need to be in existential mode. And their behaviour further strengthen my resolve to be in existential mode.
The secret of Shambhala
Fear always brings the guardians closer, if we can still maintain our faith to some degrees. It is hate that drives them away.
Soul
I can relate to that.
Hate
Anger
Hurt
Guilt
Fear
Love
Fear is the next level to Love. So easy to cross over to Love and vice versa. Anger and Hate is so far apart from Love.
That's why I always self contemplate, going into the fear. I knew after fear is love.
Father, a tot came. Slowly but surely my parameter is coming in. I got hope for my RA.
As for S, once again trying to put a new person as 'better' than me. Saying even a stranger won't do this, and me a so called friend. Well, enough is enough. I have paid enough to her. Finally completing my Ace of Diamonds karma.
After a long journey I m back.
I know both S and W is in their psychological mode. So the more I need to be in existential mode. And their behaviour further strengthen my resolve to be in existential mode.
The secret of Shambhala
Fear always brings the guardians closer, if we can still maintain our faith to some degrees. It is hate that drives them away.
Soul
I can relate to that.
Hate
Anger
Hurt
Guilt
Fear
Love
Fear is the next level to Love. So easy to cross over to Love and vice versa. Anger and Hate is so far apart from Love.
That's why I always self contemplate, going into the fear. I knew after fear is love.
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
I am back
Aug 19 morning
My old chair is repaired after a few months. Finally I m back in my old chair. The journey has ended. I m truly back. The past few months so much upheaval, losing my ambition, converting from full time to part time, losing Z.
Then issue on parental mode with P, S and L. Finally I m back. I am now truly my Self.
Just spoke to W, she said what Pe said about office colleague and her resignation is not true. W said my role is handling mgm team. And nope, no one is resigning. W and I both said our path is over. She can't grow here.
Father, finally did it. I informed Z via FB that I know of his wife. And I m now open to seeing them both. Will be seeing them soon. Alas miracle happen and my glue for him is gone. Amen.
Also didn't keep his contact. Yeah. No more. No need to prove myself.
My old chair is repaired after a few months. Finally I m back in my old chair. The journey has ended. I m truly back. The past few months so much upheaval, losing my ambition, converting from full time to part time, losing Z.
Then issue on parental mode with P, S and L. Finally I m back. I am now truly my Self.
Just spoke to W, she said what Pe said about office colleague and her resignation is not true. W said my role is handling mgm team. And nope, no one is resigning. W and I both said our path is over. She can't grow here.
Father, finally did it. I informed Z via FB that I know of his wife. And I m now open to seeing them both. Will be seeing them soon. Alas miracle happen and my glue for him is gone. Amen.
Also didn't keep his contact. Yeah. No more. No need to prove myself.
Finally able to defend myself against Parental mode
Aug 19
Father, put alarm at 5.25 am cos slept late, around 1 am, energised by Sathsang. A good one.
Finally told S that we are both not good for each other. I also said that I prefer to have staff that respect and support me.
Father, a tot came. The lesson with Pe, she is another parental mode, albeit less hostile. My lesson is people who speak loudest or firmest may not be gospel truth. She is entitled to her opinions. Just because I don't dish out to others.
Father. S responded and said I should not have employed her previously. S said her new boss said she wouldn't recommend anyone after one month of working. Said that I feel threaten by her. This time I replied and defended myself.
Father, I had enough of all this parental mode friends who think they are always right. Who feels that they have a right to dish out their opinions. From now on, I will defend myself. I will create an internal parameter. No more letting others hit me everytime. No more thinking that because I hold back my opinion, because u believed in freedom, others will do the same.
Amen.
The secret of Shambhala
At some point, every culture must truly grasp that we are spiritual beings and that our bodies themselves are only atoms in a particular vibration, a vibration that can be raised as our connection and prayer power increase.
Soul
Now start with Kapalvriksha.
The secret of Shambhala (choosing a mate)
We assess - whether we are fully conscious of it or not - if the style of life with that individual mate will represent an advance forward from the style or attitude that we ourselves grew up with.
Choosing the right mate is important evolutionary point of view. As we evolve spiritually. humans are destined to mate consciously in order to set up home, or home attitude, that represent a more truthful way of life compared to the previous generation. Intuitively we know that we must build a life that adds to the wisdom we found in the world when we arrive.
Soul
Father, truly over. Yesterday darshan by Sadhguru tells me the reason I got entangled is the glue.
Now this tells me that I was right in my previous assessment that Z is not right support for me, that he can't bring me forward. My dream is a partner that we can grow together. So the break up is a blessing to me, a help cos I can't do it on my own due to entanglement.
Amen.
Now ready to tell Z that miracle is here.
Father, put alarm at 5.25 am cos slept late, around 1 am, energised by Sathsang. A good one.
Finally told S that we are both not good for each other. I also said that I prefer to have staff that respect and support me.
Father, a tot came. The lesson with Pe, she is another parental mode, albeit less hostile. My lesson is people who speak loudest or firmest may not be gospel truth. She is entitled to her opinions. Just because I don't dish out to others.
Father. S responded and said I should not have employed her previously. S said her new boss said she wouldn't recommend anyone after one month of working. Said that I feel threaten by her. This time I replied and defended myself.
Father, I had enough of all this parental mode friends who think they are always right. Who feels that they have a right to dish out their opinions. From now on, I will defend myself. I will create an internal parameter. No more letting others hit me everytime. No more thinking that because I hold back my opinion, because u believed in freedom, others will do the same.
Amen.
The secret of Shambhala
At some point, every culture must truly grasp that we are spiritual beings and that our bodies themselves are only atoms in a particular vibration, a vibration that can be raised as our connection and prayer power increase.
Soul
Now start with Kapalvriksha.
The secret of Shambhala (choosing a mate)
We assess - whether we are fully conscious of it or not - if the style of life with that individual mate will represent an advance forward from the style or attitude that we ourselves grew up with.
Choosing the right mate is important evolutionary point of view. As we evolve spiritually. humans are destined to mate consciously in order to set up home, or home attitude, that represent a more truthful way of life compared to the previous generation. Intuitively we know that we must build a life that adds to the wisdom we found in the world when we arrive.
Soul
Father, truly over. Yesterday darshan by Sadhguru tells me the reason I got entangled is the glue.
Now this tells me that I was right in my previous assessment that Z is not right support for me, that he can't bring me forward. My dream is a partner that we can grow together. So the break up is a blessing to me, a help cos I can't do it on my own due to entanglement.
Amen.
Now ready to tell Z that miracle is here.
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