Can finally do Kapalvriksha meditation

Aug 18 eve
Bit of panic attack cos video not working. Then I said I cannot do anything now. It is up to Sadhguru. In the midst of such stressful situation I was able to let go and let God.

Today got Kapalvriksha meditation. I didn't do cos I was the guide but when Sadhguru said a flash from Guru, I felt a hit to my forehead and my body glow. I was suddenly in the meditation. My first short term wish is to be in Existential mode always, second is to be with my spiritual and loving husband and third to be a full time famous writer/tool sharer.

Alas, first time ever got into the mode. Can now do Kapalvriksha. Amen.

I shared with L on Pe'a opinions. She said its very attacking. She said Pe seems not happy for me. Yea, that's what I tot. Instead of being happy for me, she is trying to justify to herself that I still have not evolved. Guess she is trying to hold on her glue as big sister as I no longer turn to her.
Father, today Sathsang about us being glue man that got us entangled. It is not our involvement, its our glue.
No wonder I had glue Z to me.
Sadhana is to minimise the glue on us so we can be generally less entangled and then we can choose to take up other things/people to our life.
Exactly fit my Kapalvriksha wishes. First to stay in existential mode before I get married. Amen.
Once I m in existential mode, I can then not be glue.

Today at Brahmananda, there was such contentment in me. I just sat in arashidharna posture.

Osho - razor edge
When ur outer and inner eyes both see, then the same existence becomes so psychedelic, so colourful ... The same tree is greener than it has ever been - not only greener, each leaf has its own aura energy. The whole tree is surrounded by an energy aura, radiating rays.

Soul
Amen.

Osho - razor edge
As u become more accustomed to the new state of joyfulness, fear will be reduced. Soon u will find there is no fear at all. And to be fearless is a tremendously great achievement, because fear is part of ur death. If u become fearless, u have tasted  something which is deathless.
Give attention to joy, and fear will disappear. Pour urself totally in the direction from where joy is arising and fear will disappear just as darkness disappears when u bring light in.

Soul
Yesterday I gave attention to my enjoyment of water and I lost the fear of water. Body keep on wanting to just swim, to enjoy.

Osho
Joy is the beginning of a great pilgrimage which ends in finding truth. So go on - without any fear because existence always protects those who trust it. Relax, give urself to existence and allow the joy to overwhelm u.
A joyful heart is very close to the stars.
The joyful and the singing and the dancing and the celebrating are creating their paradise by each of their songs, by each of their dances.
And it will not only help u, it will also help others whom u come to contact with. Joy is as infectious as any disease.

Soul
I m definitely doing all that.