Z was a tool in my lifetime challenge of Seven of Hearts

Aug 10 eve 2
The secret of Shambhala
U will learn that at these higher levels of energy, our fields of prayer act very quickly to bring us exactly what we expect.
If we fear, it brings us what we fear. If we hate, it brings us more of what we hate.

Soul
I tend to anticipate the worst in romantic relationship. Well, the period is over.
For the first time even with knowing about Z's wife. I m able to lift up my head and know I m fine and that Z was not right for me. His leaving was a bonus to me, not a punishment.
I have learned to keep my energy high with the yogic practices. Alas now I m ready to align energy to good expectation.
Amen.

Just now a tot come on Z; I waived it off. It no longer matters what happen to him or what he tot of me.

The secret of Shambhala
Yin - my memory and guilt erodes my energy, so I tend to expect the worst. I allowed myself to see my fear coming in my mind, as a little vision, and I wasn't doing anything to counteract that image. I should have caught myself and envisioned in my mind that the army would no longer be so antagonistic toward us, and then held that expectation.
My fear in general was not what brought them. I went unconscious and held a specific image, specific expectation that they would come to us. That was the problem. If u hold a negative image too long, it can eventually come true.


Soul
Father, u r truly great. I have been asking for help on how to counter my mind. Little did I knew I got the book that can answer me a month back. But I think I was still not ready as long as I still held on. I let go when I deleted his contact last week.
And now today after I automatically to counter tots on Z, I get to read this message. And I now know I can do it since I did it this morning and this afternoon. I m on the right track. Just now on my drive back, I can feel tots of Z creeping in and I quickly brought up my energy and I felt love enveloping me, no tots come in. Father, a tot occurred to me I truly can decide how I feel inside. Outside I have no control but inside I truly have.

Father, my life time challenge was Seven of Hearts. It has happened in the form of betrayal. Perhaps that's how I viewed my mom betrayed me with my trust when I told her about the childhood incident. And it could also be that I felt betrayed with her when I was two years old and it was embedded in me.

So much sorrow over Z for the past one year and finally my rainbow is here. It came cos I finally deleted his contact.  All these years i expect only the worst and now I expect only the best. 
No more; it ends now. From now onward only good will happen in my romantic relationship. Only the best will happen and it will also align with my destiny of Self mastery.