No more attracting challenges to prove my mastery

Aug 13 eve

So great sharing with P on 7thunders destiny card book. Her ruling card and destiny cards seven years path is so correct. She is glad the affirmation for her path.

Intermittent tots of Z came, I just counter I love again and mind stops.
As I was showering, a tot came up me. I can see Y has much emotional power and yet her dream is to have emotional mastery.
Z dream is Eight of Hearts which is emotional power. He has loads of gal falling for him, like his 2 gals and wife. The gals left him cos they not getting their love returns. In the end they feel insecure and left. So Z do have emotional power but faced challenge in rship. I know I love him and I waited for him. But alas he dismissed it. He didnt know of his emotional power.

What about me? My dream is self mastery. Others see me as master of myself. Yet I don't cos I know the inner turmoil is hidden by my cool facade. I faced challenges that makes me feel lost of control, unable to master myself. I know I have power. But I tot power is a karma cos is responsibility. Only now I see responsibility means having. I have and hence I can give.
And all the challenges I faced I did master them albeit with painful sorrow. I always tot God wants to make me suffer, always make me the strong one that have to give. In fact it could be God way of showing me that I already have.
So my dream is self mastery. I keep on attracting circumstances that makes me goes inward to find courage to face and overcome my lessons. In overcoming is actually outcome of mastery.
Father, I already am Self master. It just that I didn't know and keep on attracting situations to master. I keep on attracting challenges to master.
I am already a master. I have actually arrived but didn't know it. I already got my dream. A smile came to me while I m writing this.

Father, what a trick, a paradox, my journey was actually not necessary.
Just like me keep on changing jobs looking for challenges in order I feel valuable. Once I decided work is not a measure of my value I stopped seeking challenges and I am finally stable and secure and even got my dream of 3 days week.

So, being a master of myself is no longer necessary. I need not have self mastery to be valuable. I m already valuable. No more challenges. No more attracting difficult people or relationships or circumstances to be overcomes, to prove myself.

It's just like me thinking I m not lovable, looking for love, finding difficult situation to prove I m lovable. No more. I m truly lovable. I m so easy to live with. I m such a joy. I m lightness. That's why people love my presence.
I am rich, smart, spiritual, loving and sexual.


Father, a full cycle. Started this journey in 1997 and now 2013.
It has been 16 years.

A tot came. It's just like we search for happiness outside but it is already in us.
I search for self mastery outside but actually I m already a master.

Father, today Five of Clubs
Change of mind and plans is the basic meaning of the Five of Clubs.
This signal a change in ur life. U r likely to feel a dissatisfaction with things as they are and want to progress into new areas.
Be open to new plans, new ideas, new places to go.

Soul
Amen.
Suddenly tot need not face L. Will call her tomorrow. Don't want to prove myself. I m not equipped to handle her. I need not prove myself. She may need love but I need not prove it.