Socrates - Know thyself; anything else is secondary

Aug 14 eve
Father, the two men in my life who went for jump gun wedding. Both married young beautiful capable ladies. Both now in honeymoon stage.

And these 2 days I saw both their wedding pictures consecutively. I can see their pictures without feeling envious as before. For Z I know now my path is clearly not with him.
I always dream of a partner that support me in my path.

Evening
Walked in the park. Was singing and humming the three cycles. Intermittently tot of Z did come in, I counter with we will love again. It be good love.
At the end an insight came, read Expect A miracle.
I tot it be good cos now alas A miracle happened to me yesterday. I can now believed miracle will happen in my relationship.

Did my Shoonya. Went in deep. Did Samyama in arashidharna posture. Nice but I stop cos feeling bit stiff.  I tot I did a short one. Turn out I did one hour in total.

A little tot of Z comes in. Now I see it as a flicker of past. A tot also occurred to me. It has ended long time for Z and I have been holding on to past for a long while. So now when tot of Z comes in, I blink it away. It is an illusion.

Osho - Razor edge
Socrates says, "Know thyself; anything else is secondary."
Knowing thyself, u can be unselfish. Infact u will be unselfish; it won't be an effort on ur part. Knowing thyself u will know not only urself, but u will know the self of everyone. It is the same; it is one consciousness, one continent. People are not island.

To Christian, meditators are the most selfish people in the world, just meditating and enjoying silence and peace and blissfulness. In Christianity there is no meditation, only prayer.

To the East, "Unless u have peace, a silence in ur heart, a song in ur being, a light radiating ur enlightenment, u cannot do any service to anybody.

Soul
Yea, Pe always said I m self centred. I should be on loving people. She keep on saying relationship is the most important. i used to think otherwise, but now I feel a combination is good. Father, Eight of Diamond truly difficult to open up. I think L finally opened up because of meditation and energy.

My journey is me, my passion is my journey. Through knowing me, I know others too.
I too believed that give first to urself. That's why I resist volunteering. But the more I resist, it comes back strongly. A few months ago I decided that once and for all accept volunteering. It's been quite ok.
Also I read from Osho that working with group is good for those with high ego. And that fits me. So now I know why volunteering keeps on coming back to me cos I need it.