Osho tarot card is really true

Aug 10
Had a walk. The first cycle was not great, couldn't see the loveliness of grass and had tots of Z. Second cycle, the grass looks green and tots of Z reduced. By the end of second cycle a tot came, thinking of Z is futile. So I changed my tots to affirmation that I will love again. From third cycle the trees looks great and grass looks lovelier.

Aft
The sorrow card is really true. No wonder for the Outsider. Just found out who Z is married to.  At first tot, that's why he was so secretive on his marriage. He tot I might jeopardise his marriage. Then an alternative tot came, he is a Scorpio, he tot anyone could have ill motive.

Mind is active but no longer as active as before. At first I was sad that Z will be in my radar and i will get to see his wife and him. Then a tot came; why keep on saying sad tot, why not he sees that I m happier in my path without him; that I got a better suitable partner than him.

As I was driving back, I tot of his wife. Should be a Club like his ex wife. Z doesn't like that I 'talk' and he married one that can talk much more than me. In terms of physical attributes, she is tall and voluptuous and fit his ideal. He tot he got beauty and brain and sexiness as he met her during Neptune period. Well, I can see a repeat of his past.
A tot came to me.  Z is repeating his karma whereas mine has ended. That's why he is out of my life.
This is definitely a new beginning for me to think of positive instead of auto negative for myself.