Stillness sets in again - redefining completion without comparison

Aug 31
Woke up 7.00 am upon alarm. Body don't feel too great. Had tot of past but I counter by saying; don't compare. He may have King of clubs in Venus and me Three of Clubs. But I always got money whereas he always got commitment. What is my weakness is also my strength, vice versa.

Did one cycle of Surya kriya, followed by a quick Shavasana. Breathing was lovely, I can see violet flame. I sat for quite awhile. Shakti was good. Violet flame during Kapalabhakti. I was singing in my mind at the end. Shambavi was great. Started with singing from butterfly flap. Towards the end, heads was shaking non stop followed by head pulled back and air exchange from the lung. Then head snap back to original position. Stillness sets in ardha shiddharna posture. I have experienced contentment, silence but this is stillness. Body was still, mind was still and emotion too. Everything just stops. It was amazing. Stillness happens for quite awhile. I ended my practices around 9.20 am.

Went for my swim. It was amazing. I just enjoyed the water on breaststroke style. I can even give way to others who are inexperienced. Just swimming with ease and joy. On the fourth lap, a group of family with many children in floating gears came in. I couldn't swim over. At first I forced myself to do so. Then a tot came, even Tim Ferris start with 20 meter pool. He said focus on the practice, not a workout. Why I need to finish 50 meter? I just want to enjoy myself only; I m not trying to do workout. I then just swim in my area, enjoying myself tremendously.

An Ah Ha moment came; completion need not be the whole distance. Completion is up to ur own capability. Don't need to compare myself with other swimmers. They use this pool as a workout. Me, I love water but can't swim. The pool is for me to practice and to know my status of emotion adaptability.

Then on the same tot I now can conclude my story on Completion. It is truly completed; just a changed of perspective, a change of mind. He was my first relationship. I went in because I wanted physical release and he was the right one. I am now physically released and hence completion. Completion here need not mean we have to be together in the end. Completion can means different thing to different people. Just like a husband that died from heart attack. The fact that his life journey didn't end with his wife and seeing his children marriages, doesn't mean it is incomplete. It is complete to his life.

Father, I predicted early this week that my menses will come once I reach completion; once I go with the flow. True enough, menses came after my swim; after realisation that it has already completed.

Father, just finished writing Completion story. A true finale. Yea, completion has to be seen and experienced.