There is no betrayal, everyone is following their own scripts

Aug 11
Woke up before alarm, feeling good. Slept back as it was still early and went into a dream. Woke up 6.45 am for a walk in the park.
Just feeling my breathe and the flow of energy from the trees. Can see the aliveness of the grass.

A tot of Z comes in about him betraying me, choosing a gal from our circle, why can't he choose me instead if he wants to stay in circle. Then I remember his Jack of Diamonds, he tots of having values. Not just for himself but also to show off to his ex wife. I then stopped my tots. I told my mind, lets not make us sad. Lets choose happiness instead.

Now I know the reason for the Schizophrenia internal influence card. Me wanting liberation from my attachment to Z and the mind holding it back.
From second cycle, can see the loveliness of grass. A tot came. Tot of Z, he doesn't love me but he is not out to betray me. We agreed to have a fling but its just that we had a very long fling. He is just following his script.  He chose the gal cos she fulfilled his script. And as for the gal, Z is meant for him to learn.
Then a tot occurred to me on my mom, brother, con man. They are just following their script. Perhaps I was also following my Seven of Hearts. Well, I will re-write my script. Better yet, I will write a new script of love and meditation for myself.

Today my mom shared her continuous dream of her looking for a particular blouse to wear. Alas she couldn't find it and in anger decides not to go out. I shared about me always misplacing my car in the parking lots. I couldn't find my car. I recalled I also had one dream that I turned into a fast animal when I couldn't find my car. I haven't dream about the missing car until the recent dream I had on car being stolen.
Mmm, my rship with mom has always been good and now we sharing our childhood's boils and dreams.
Father, my script is being re-written. Amen.

I now have 2 to 3 stories. The let go of Z by deletion of his contact. The information of his new wife in my circle. And the ending of my lifetime challenge Seven of Hearts.

Today Osho card is so true
Past lives
The lizards are the guardians of the unconscious, making sure that we are prepared for a vision that might be otherwise be shattering.
Unless u go deeper, u cannot find the door to another life; secondly u have to be deeper in meditation because if u find the door of another life, a flood of events will come into the mind. It is hard enough to carry one life..,,
A glimpse into the eternity of our existence is a gift and understanding the function of karma in our lives is not something that can be grasped at will. This is a wake up call; the events in ur life are trying to show u a pattern as ancient as the journey of ur own soul.

Soul
Going deeper into my issue with Z has opened up the door to the other betrayals in my life. Instead of feeling worse from the onslaught of past memories. I found the door and opened up to a new life. I have closed the door to Negative aspect of Seven of Hearts and open up myself to its positive aspect.
Today for the first time I shared with my family my experience in Samyama. We laughed together. Amen.