Power is not suffering, Power is blessing

Aug 13

What a fantastic practices!
Asanas were good. I can touch my forehead to knees without strain. Snail improved. Plough back is good. I was not tired and had a quick Shavsana cos I want to do longer breathing. Lovely, managed to sit in arashidharna, so at ease. Wish I could sit longer but its time for Shakti. Shakti was great. Saw violet flame during Kapala Bhakti. For the first time I laughed loads at the end despite legs cramps. This has never happen before.
Start Shambavi with love songs in my mind. A great finish. Just sitting at arashidharna in contentment. So lovely. I sat for quite a while. Next week will tweaked the alarm clock by another 5 minutes to 4.20 am so can stay longer in Breathing and ending of Shambavi. Amen
During the practices three were only little tots of Z that comes in and out. I didn't hold on and its just evaporate.

The joy stayed with me. Today wore a blouse that I usually can't wear. Now with body firmed up and spine straighten, I can carry the blouse well
As i was dressing, I said to myself I m such an easy person to live with. i tot of the quote of Difficult people is the one that needs love the most. Then this means I need the least external love. Suddenly instead of seeing myself as 'cursed', I can see that I am blessed instead. Blessed are those who needs little emotional support...cos they already have.


For the first time instead of seeing God made me suffer for my strength. I see that I don't receive cos I already have. It's like water always flows downward. I am at the upward trail. Instead of harping why it is always me that has to give love. For the first time I see that I can give cos I have. If I didn't have love, God wouldn't have sent so many difficult  people to me.
Father, I used to say Power is Responsibility. But now I can see Power is Blessing. It is not Giving but Having.
For the first time I realised:
Having
Giving
Receiving.

I am at the first two levels. Amen. What a breakthrough.

As I was driving, a tot came, having Z and wife in my circle is just to show me that I m not scratched by the break up. It's a good platform to close my Seven of Hearts lifetime challenge.

For a moment I want to tell Z that I knew of his wife. Started to write FB message but decided not to. Just relaxed. Whatever will be, will be.