Going with the flow of defeat - BSP and Samyama combined

Aug 23 eve
Explosive Shoonya and followed by Samyama and BSP experiences combined.

On the way driving back. It was a bad jam, I took twice the time to reach home, about one and half hour. I was enjoying the trees, feeling their energy. Towards the end I can even feel their love. This may be illusion but I just feel so contented and happy. Laugh out loud a few times. Tot of E and his mail saying that his wife is fantastic. That's exactly what I said a few days ago. Partners are meant to be only if they mutually think each other as spectacular. I m sure E's wife thinks him fantastic too. My partner and I doesn't think of each other as spectacular.

Reach home before 8 pm.
Saw the mail from sister company requiring further justification for the proposal.
Just now in my car I already decided that if they still insist, I will drop the case cos it is their  issue, not mine. I m only be helpful to highlight. I will accept defeat. No point banging my head for something that doesn't benefit me. Professionally risk is not big as the amount is not significant and correction will be made within next 12 months.
So when I arrive home and saw their email I just quicky replied that we have taken so much time and since they still insist that we provide further justification, we rest our case.
This is a new me, accepting defeat and choose to go with the flow. I recalled my North node in Taurus, go for easy life, need not take unnecessary challenges. Challenges I took just to prove my value. Well the values for office is no longer there.

Took a quick shower and jump into Shoonya. There were bit of tots of the issue with sister company flowing in my mind. But overall a deep one.

When I came out of Shoonya, body is moving and head is already shaking and body want to bend down to the floor. So I know I can't go into Samyama. I just go with the flow.
Then it happened. Suddenly my head was stretched back and flow of air from the stomach flowing out from my lungs into open and vice versa. This happen for a few times. I was also singing and dancing. At first was singing my usual love songs. In the end I was singing unknown tunes and was dancing. Similar experiences when I was doing Samyama program. I recalled that finally I m going with the flow. And then I suddenly feel I m back in the pool and my hand was swimming in breaststroke style. I recalled saying that Z and I were meant to flow together but Z had stopped the flow, so I now continue to flow on my own.

Also recalled that I decided to give up my compulsion for dessert, my final food karma. I cried so much over this.

And at one point, I was making hissing sound and my body was swivelling up like a snake with my hands going up above my head. Really feel like a snake that has just waken up.

In the end, after closing invocation and prayer of thanks. Suddenly I was crying loads and thanked Z, P, A, S and all the others who have been in my journey and helped me to what I am Now.
I bow down to them.
This is similar to BSP flower garland experience.

My eyes is so red with all the crying. I finished the practices around 9.05 pm. So Shoonya plus the Samyama cum BSP was around 45 minutes.


Father, something in me has changed. I have said that this year is for my body. And here A gave me the 4-hour body book by Tim Ferris.
I have always said food is my last resistance. And when I give up food, I am enlightened.

A few months ago I have up meat to be seafood eater only. There was no drama or dilemma as it just happen. I go with the flow.

And now it has reached the next level of my food karma - dessert. When I become a seafood eater I said if I give up dessert, I truly be enlightened. I said I don't want to be. I prefer to keep my food.

Reading The Secret of Shambhala and now followed by 4-hour Body brings back the knowing that dessert is not good for me.

Father, I had my max of dessert. Of late, no dessert can excite me anymore. I think I have eaten whatever dessert that can be eaten.

Just now I went to a bakery shop. The old me would have ordered the very sweet and buttery pastry. The new me just looked at it and don't feel like having so much sugar. I bought a banana pastry instead. And just ate half. This is truly a breakthrough and there is no dilemma. Once I know I cannot act dumb. Amen.