Osho on Spirituality - goes for what repels you

Jul 28 eve
Teacher changed her mind and now says that she doesn't want any banner. P said in future I should forward the communication to her.
And P now said she agreed with teacher, we should not 'cheapen' the program. Infact she was not comfortable even to do the banner. She is glad that teacher agrees with her.
I can feel my ire starting at her instructive tone as if we make her look bad and that we don't know what teacher wants.
 And I wanted to share this with L. But then I stopped and I realised that P is very concerned with teacher's reply and takes it as gospel truth. She truly wants teacher's approval. On one hand she said she doesn't need it and don't want to be in communication with teacher. But on the other hand she is thoroughly affected and project it on others for making her look bad.
Whereas I m not bothered about teacher's feedback. To me, many ways to catch the fish.
Father, I can now see another side to P and my rising anger dissipates. I apologised for her time wasted but I reiterate my stand for banner. Anyway, is teacher's call.
She responded with she is ok but glad teacher changed her mind. Again I interpreted this as Isha ways.
The old me would have reacted on the Isha ways. But now that I already experienced the loving gaze of Dhynalinga and Sadhguru, I am no longer affected by Isha way or not. Love is love; name and form is not important.

Osho / Krishna
As it is the natural law of life that the opposites attracts, so it is the natural law of spiritualism that self nature attracts, not the opposite. In spiritual journey, I don't have to reach the other; I have to reach myself.

So what attracts u is not ur type; it is the opposite of ur nature, because the opposite attracts. It seems paradoxical and difficult too, to understand that what repels u is ur type.
How does a woman knows she is a woman? She wants to be with a man, not a woman. A woman repels another woman. So take it for a rule; u r not what attracts u; u r its opposite. U r really that which repels u.
It is really ardous to figure out this paradox, but life is paradoxical. It is difficult to believe that what u detest and condemn, what u want to avoid, to keep at arm's length is invariably ur own thing. It is within u.

Soul
Firstly spirituality is so not me. I remembered I faced so much resistance reading A course in miracles. In the end I gained so much from it and was on it for a few years whereas the others dropped out after one year.

And Indian spirituality is so not me.I even resisted to read their spirituality book even after ACIM.

Meditation is not me.
Singing prayer song is not me
Doing physical walk is not me.
Going to India is not me.
Going meatless is so not me.

Now I know all is truly me. I had so much resistance towards all but it is me.

So, last thing going Kailash? Is it me? Absolutely not.

But reading this tells me that perhaps I should make the trip. All that I resisted are actually good for me.

Now tot perhaps I should let go of Samyama this year and just focus on next year Kailash.
For now build up my physical strength. At least I now like and savour walking - something that is unimaginable.

Father, Nine of Spades is my Results card. Anyway I do need her in the team. Have to remember she make a formidable team member. No wonder this year is about relationship