All shoulds in our mind results in negative feelings

Sept 4
Father, woke up 4.10 am. Had a dream and was bit groggy. Mind saying go to sleep. I looked at my face, need recovery time.

Staying Ok
Both Adult and Child are internally derived, whereas the Parent is externally derived.

Those recorded experiences and feelings associated with them are available for replay today in as vivid a form as when they had appeared and they provide much of the data that determines the nature of today's transactions.

Events in the present can replicate and old experience and we not only remember how we felt, but we feel the same way. We not only remember the past, we relive it. We are there! Much of what we relive we don't remember.

If a parent says, "what's a kid like u got to be sad about?" They may decide to keep their feelings to themselves, to "hold it all in". If the expression of feelings are always negated or twisted, children may become afraid to trust their own perceptions, and begin not to feel feelings at all.
Later in life, they may be "unfeeling" people.

Soul
That's what happens to me. I did my own psychoanalysis, open all my unconscious doors. Release controls, fears, sadness and anger.

Staying OK
The most common cause of negative feelings is the failure to live up to the conditions we originally assumed had to be met to be OK, those important ifs that constitute what Kant called the "handful of maxims which govern our lives".

Soul
Overcome fear of rejection by accepting feeling of unlovability. Learning I am OK even if I am without my partner and not loved by him. Learning to accept things I cannot change. All these via meditation. Learning that I am OK even if things or people don't go my way.

Staying OK
A little person most deterministic assumption was "I am Not OK - U r OK.
Having perceived his predicament, the little person looks to his parents for clues as to what he can do to please them, whom he regards as OK. To the child, they are magic people, big, powerful, comforting, frightening sometimes, and of primary significance, needed. However they treat him, he needs them.


Soul
Tot of Z. I lost my boundaries with him.
But I seldom asked him what he wants from me whereas he does that often.

Staying OK
The child trust is tenacious because his need is great. Therefore, a child can survive many "bad" incidents before he makes a "get away from" decision.