Great to be in sathsang...as a meditator

Sept 9 Eve

Father, I am happy. I feel so cleansed and light after sathsang. It has been nearly 2 years since I was a meditator.

When I did the Chikshakti, I had 3 wishes - first is Z to be in my family new year eve dinner, second is for me to be a famous writer and third is for me to practice all Isha practices and being an Isha promoter. Chikshakti is a difficult meditation to follow and yet I got in. I was laughing when Sadhguru said I meet my Master.

I was so happy and I wanted to share with Z. I was surprised at the tot as I had no plan to call. Then I recall the Thunderbolt
Me leaping from tower not because I want to, but I have no choice. Ur sense of security is being challenged, and the natural tendency is to try to hold on to whatever u can. But this inner earthquake is both necessary and tremendously important - if u allow it, u will emerge from the wreckage stronger and more available for new experiences.
Say 'yes' to the process by meeting it halfway.

I also tot of the Insight
Comparison
Comparison brings inferiority, superiority. When u don't compares, all inferiority, all superiority disappears. Then u r, u r simply there. A small bush, or a big tree. It doesn't matter ur urself.

Soul
I interpreted this as for me to take a jump. My dream still includes him. I got nothing to lose by calling him.
Anyway, I called but his phone is not with him. Let it be. Main thing is I followed my heart, I am happy and wanted to share my love. Who knows, tomorrow I may go back.
Its one hour, mind is reacting but emotion didn't follow. Never mind. I m happy, I feel safe, I share.

(Sept 27 - Z told me he was sleeping when I called. His phone is on vibrate and he is the type that cannot sleep once he wakes up half way. He said he knew about my call the next morning but there were so many other business calls and he forgot about calling me back.)

Osho - Ko Hsuan
The most impossible thing in the world is to transcend the world. The most impossible thing in the world is to know oneself. The most impossible thing in the world is to become utterly empty.