I seems to be egoless...with Z??

Aug 24

Father, I reacted on what P said. P said I seem to be egoless where Z is concerned. She said all the tantrum, not answering phones and etc is normally the women territory. I m now acting like man instead of woman role.
Perhaps so, as Z says I am more keen than him, so I got to do the job more. I become the lead.

Since I raised the bar that I wanted us to be in commitment, Z is going on silent mode again. Part of me is angry with myself. Why we got back together and now I have to go thru the break up again.

Now I can see the coldness in Z. Of course, I understand that he was just being himself, non-confrontational. He don't want to let me go, but he doesn't want to deepen the rship. He wants status quo whereas I want a commitment.

Aiyoh, have to go thru the break up again. Anyway, he won't call me. If I don't call him, we be off.

At least we are now off for the right reason. We both want different things.
Yea, apart from sadness on Z, I am feeling stupid for holding on.