We offers what we want

Sept 16
Father, my blog hit is consistent now. I am glad others can share and learn from my experiences.

Losing Z is not as bad as I tot.

Osho
Aloneness means positively enjoying it, being positively ecstatic about it, being positively blissful about it, so much so that if u r never together with anybody again, no question arises, no problem arises, not even the desire, not even a lurking desire somewhere in the unconscious. When u r so contented - not just satisfied, remember ...these words are totally different. One can create satisfaction without being contented.
Satisfaction is a kind of "accepting the inevitable.". If one is lonely, one is lonely; one has to live with it. And man is capable of adjusting to any situation.

Soul
While I am generally blissful in meditation mode, I cannot say I am contented off meditation. And I know I want my partner. And of course, I went thru my dilemma with Z. But one thing I learned towards the end is that I too need to speak Z's language. He wants to be acknowledged as a giver. Wish I could practice more but my limits was up.

Osho
Unless u know how to be alone, ur togetherness will become troublesome, ur togetherness will create misery, because ur togetherness will bring out everything that remains asleep in u while u r lonely.
When u r together, the other provokes it, the other becomes a challenge. U become a challenge for the other, the other becomes a challenge for u.

Soul
When I first decide I am ready to embark into love, to face my fear of unlovability, I met Z. The reason why I went into the rship was to face and overcome my unlovability. It was a journey of nearly 2 years.
He has proven to me time and time again that feeling of unlovability won't kill me. I need not be afraid of it.
And the finale is to face the unlovability completely by accepting the ending of a 2 year rship. And ending that came even though I still love him. Alas, I didn't die. I am intact. Thanks to meditation, my inner joy sustain me.

Osho
Don't be repressive. Be in the world and yet remain alert, aware, watchful. If u r not repressive in ur aloneness, ur aloneness will become a blissful, beautiful experience. Meet with the other person out of ur bliss, not out of ur misery. And then togetherness does not only double ur bliss, it multiplies it. Togetherness always multiplies whatsoever u bring to it. If u bring misery to it, it multiplies misery.


Soul
Suddenly tot of Z's request for the biz in my company. He wants to see my love for him. He said I didn't want to see him grow. For him, he would give me biz if I asked as he wants to see me grow.
For me, loving him is to give him the understanding he needs, to emphatise with him, to stay with him even when my parameters are breached. To stay and delayed my wants. To wait for him.
That is why he always joked of me giving him money. And I always say no. He wanted to test how much I love him. He doesn't want the money as his preference is to be the Giver and not Receiver. He just wants me to show him love the way he wanted.

Guess we r different. I have psychological depth and I want 'health and I offer 'health. He wants wealth and he offers wealth. We offers what we want, which is normal.

Osho
If u know how to be alone, u will know how to be alone together, because it is not a question of learning it again in a different way; it is the same phenomenon. If u know how to be alone, u will know it everywhere, whether in rship or not in rship.
In togetherness, helps spiritual growth, integrity, tremendously because it gives u an opportunity, a great challenge. It exposes u to the full light and u can see urself. The other becomes the mirror. Rship is a mirror. U cannot see ur face without a mirror.

Learn to be alone - and that will happen only through meditation - and then allow mirrors into ur life so that u can see where u r, what u r, how much u have grown.