First tot of changing my tots on the "supposed' ending with Z

Sept 25

Father, I woke up 6.15 am before alarm clock. Body was fine but mind doesn't want to do hata. So, I just lied down for awhile, mental drama going on. Then I said let's do it. No excuse not to do except pure laziness.

I woke up at 6.30 am and do it. I did the asanas. It was a strain bending down for first asanas. I persevere and I was quite fine. I was laughing in the lying down pose and I tot I really want to go back for hata. Since I am a control and with my RA, hata is a must. It is my alternative to medicine.

Father, I shared with ShaL on my plans to be a promoter of self development tools. This is the second time I shared. I can't say I received positive reply. But I continue sharing.

Sept 25 Eve
I did my samyama in the evening. Suddenly a tot occurred. Instead of thinking that Z and I are meant to be and now I failed. Why not I think we are not meant to be and I passed. Like Sadhguru said there are many ways to interpret a situation. Why cling to failure, why don't I just changed it.

Osho
One of the most basic things about the mind is that it always tells u that u may be an exception.

Soul
Yea, I tot others cannot get Z but I can cos I am an exception. I recalled in the last meet, he said I was like one of his ex who can't let go of him, who hold on. What makes me think I am exception? Pride, fear of being wrong.

Osho
U may think that the world has become insipid, then be a little patient. Something is on its way, some other interest must be on its way. Sometimes there is a small interval between two. Sometimes there is a short rest between one journey and another. One race ends and there is a short stopover before the next race begins.

Soul
Is this a msg for me! I tot I do away with the world but perhaps not cos I too not keen to go to heaven yet.