Security and novelty doesn't bring happiness...it only reduce fear of being a nobody

Sept 10 Aft

Yea, Z is back in action. Very prompt response. Alas, his strength is in providing security for his family. He thrives in fulfilling his obligation to his family. That's what made him feel good. That's is his valuation. That's what he brings to the table, his strength.

No wonder he was reactive whenever I said he doesn't make me feel secure, or he makes me afraid.

Alas, I now found his Moon. He wants to be appreciated for his strength.

Four of Clubs
The card of mental satisfaction and stability. Whenever this card appears, u can bet that u will experience some mental peace for a while.

Soul
Yea, Z and I come to a settlement. It feels good. I also tell him that I just realised my fear on him not able to give me security is false as his priority is on family.

Anyway, I m glad I took the fall yday. Not sure if we r heading anywhere but comm is now open.

Staying OK
If we have not learned to say no, we will find our yeses lacking in enthusiasm and, increasingly, in follow-through.
If we know what we want, we probably can get a lot more out of life than we think. Quantities of energy are released when we finalise at least some objectives and cease our endless indecisions.

Soul
That's the reason I want to quit new company. It is taking the toil on me and I find little energy left on my Top 5 like coffee and dessert, writing time and yoga practices.

Staying OK
As we contended in I am OK, U r OK, there are shoulds that are adult. Does getting what I want leave time to help others get what they want? Will my happiness be at the expense of someone else's happiness? Will getting what I want make me happy? What will make me happy?

Soul
Yea. Focus on what makes us happy instead of focusing on what we feared.

Staying OK
Wants can derive from security, novelty and meaning.
We know people who seem to have abundance of both and are unhappy.
What they lack is meaning. What is the significance of my life, amidst the din of doing and the fear of not doing?

Soul
True

Staying OK
Often we contemplate change by planning what we are going to get rid of. Clutter, busyness, fat, fear, bills, sometimes people. Don'ts are depriving and account for the failure of many of our New Year's resolution.

As we have stated, change or redecision, requires Child participation. The Child was preeminently involved in our earliest decision of how to get strokes and stay alive.
Change will not work if it is merely an intellectual exercise, involving only the Adult. There has got to be something in it for the Child, little rewards along the way, not just one big vague reward years down the line, like, "a happy and productive life". What about happy days?

Most of our life is dominated by habit; unthinkingly we walk the same paths, day after day, year after year. Rewards, experienced and repeated, provide a reason to change even the most ingrained habits, those we think we can never change: I am like that; that's just the way I am.

Unless energy is deliberately and repeatedly applied to new courses of action, we will continue to do the same thing, the same old way. It does not matter what kind of energy the body feels, emotional, physicals, sexual; all can be used to build new habits.
Positive, emotional energy - joy, enthusiasm, anticipation, visions of glory, being stroked - is the most potent energy.

Had we put all ten units of energy into a "no thank you" response, we would have fired the synapse of a new habit path.
With ten units energy dissipated in indecision, the synapse did not have enough energy to fire, and the old habit, guilt and all, was reinforced. Toying with temptation drains energy.

Soul
Me, need to reactivate hata yoga. My excuse is that I m still working in 2 companies. But it is also possible because hata didn't improve much things. No more additional benefits. Previously done due to fear of RA.