Intimacy - no fear to be vulnerable, no fear of outcome..

Aug 26
Father, woke up about 3 am, feeling fresh, then followed by coughing. Came with mom for a walk in the market. Feel better.

Had a tot of Z, just let him be, not letting him go. No wonder his this year long range is Seven of Hearts. He and I didn't expect it to be me. I think both of us have reached a point whether we continue this further. I am glad he is taking a breather to think things thru. For me now, it is a plus point as he is thinking things thru instead of outright rejection.

Osho - intimacy
When two lovers are really open to each other, when they are not afraid of each other and not hiding anything from each other, that is intimacy. When they can say each and everything without any fear that the other will be offended or hurt.

Soul
That's what I tot I had with Z. But Z is holding back.

Osho
U will relate, but u will not depend; u will love, but u will not possess; u will love but u will not be jealous.
And love is without jealousy, without possessiveness, it is divine.

Soul
I haven't encounter that. But now I am able to let Z be. There is no longer any anxiousness for him to 'see' me. I am fine that he needed the space.

Osho
Relationship is needed only because u can't be alone, because u r not yet capable of meditation.
One should be capable of being alone, utterly alone, and yet tremendously blissful. Then u can love. Then ur love is no longer a need but a sharing, no longer a necessity. U will not become dependent on the people u love. U will share - and sharing is beautiful.

If u can learn anything from the failure of love, it is to become more aware, become more meditative. And by meditation, I mean the capacity to be joyous alone. Very rarely people are capable of being blissful for no reason at all - just sitting silently and blissfully! Others will think the mad because the idea of happiness is that it has to come from somebody else. People will suspect that u r on a drug, stoned.
Yes, meditation is the ultimate LSD! It is releasing ur own psychedelic powers. It is releasing ur own imprisoned splendor. And u become so joyous, such a celebration arises in ur being, that u need not have any relationship. Still u can relate with people .... and that's the difference between relating and relationship.

Relationship is a thing. U cling to it. Relating is a flow, a movement, a process. U meet a person, u r loving because u have so much love to give - and the more u give, the more u have. Once u have understood this strange arithmetic of love - that the more u give, the more u have .... Once u have known that, if u want to have more love and more joy, u give and share, then u simply share.
And whosoever allows u to share ur joy with him or with her, u feel grateful to him or her. But it is not a relationship; it is a riverlike flow.

Soul
I am not there yet. But I am getting it. I want to grow but he doesn't.

Osho
No relationship can truly grow if u go on holding back. If u remain clever and go on safeguarding and protecting urself, only personalities meet, and the essential centers remain alone.
Risk is there - if u become true, nobody knows whether this relationship will be capable of understanding truth, authenticity; whether this rship will be strong enough to stand in the storm.
They say things that should be said, they do things that should be done. But then the reality remains hungry and the essence is not fed. So, the essence becomes sadder and sadder.

Soul
I know this. Time and time again I brought this up but I let Z have his way cos I wanted th rship to continue. But I knew the inside of me becomes more sad. I felt I cannot be truly happy.

Osho
The risk is real and there is no guarantee about it, but I will tell u that the risk is worth taking.
At the most, the relationship can break - at the most. But it is better to be separate and real than unreal and together because then it is never going to be satisfying. Benediction will never come out of it. U will remain hungry and thirsty, and u will go on dragging, just waiting for some miracle to happen.

Soul
That is what was happening to us.

Osho
For the miracle to happen, u will have to do something, and that is: Start being true. At the risk that maybe the rship is not strong enough and may not be able to bear it - the truth may be too much, unbearable - but then that rship is not worthwhile. So that test has to be passed.
Risk everything for truth; otherwise u will remain discontented. For moments, u can delude urself, u can live in a dreamlike world, but a dream is not going to give u anything. It will take many things from u, and it will not give u anything in return.

Go and see! Trial and error is the only way. Go and see - maybe u will be defeated, but even in that defeat u will have become stronger than u right now. If one experience defeats u, then another and another, by and by the very going through the storm will make us stronger and stronger. A day comes when one simply starts delighting in the storm. Then the storm is not the enemy - that, too, is an opportunity, a wild opportunity, to be.

Soul
That's what I tot of us now. An opportunity. I don't know how it will be. But main thing is I try. I am no longer anxious about the results or timing.

Osho
Remember, being never happens comfortably, otherwise it would never happened to all. It cannot happen conveniently, otherwise everybody would have being without any problem. Being happens only when u take risks, when u move in danger. And love is the greatest danger there is. It demands u totally.

So, don't be afraid, go into it. If the relationship survives truth, it will be beautiful. If it dies, then too, it is good because one false relationship has ended and now u will be more capable of moving into another rship, truer, more sold, more concerning the essence.
Love is participation, so at least with the lover, don't be untrue.

Soul
That's what I tot.