There is a Parent, Adult and Child in us...

Sept 10
Father, I didn't do hata. Woke up at 4.10 am from a dream. I just want to rest, guess the child in me reacting. I tot of my wish to practice all Isha processes but I didn't do it. Anyway, woke up later at 5.15 am. Breathing and guru pooja was not good but shakti and shambavi was great. I now take the time to sit straight for at least 5 minutes before I lie down. When I finished reluctantly, it was 6.52 am. Perhaps I can try waking up at 4.20 am tomorrow.

Tot of Z, at least I kept to my promise of being friends. I am sure one day we be friends once more. Not sure if he come back as my partner but I am fine.
I am looking forward to the second part of my life.

Staying OK
Whatever we call people, the essential communication should be that u "count", u r OK.

Soul
Agreed. Generally I do that.
Father, I think Z's moon is a sense of appreciation. He wants to be appreciated for being able to give, to be the provider. With me, he can't. But I do appreciate him. I am thankful he helped me to open up physically. He helped me to face my insecurity. He was the tool that led me to feel my vulnerability. And he is the tool that led me to my invulnerability soon. I haven't reach that yet. But its going that direction.

Staying OK
1. List all ur wants, whatever comes to mind, whether immediate or long-range, silly, salty or salubrious.

The value of the above list is its specificity and spontaneity. These are the kinds of exact wants that intrude into our awareness daily as we go about our business as usual.

2. What Part of Me Wants It!
Determine whether it is Parent, Adult or Child or a combination of these.

If we discover the Child who provides the "want to", the motivation. If only the Child wants it, it may not be good for us, for the child does not consider consequences and other realities.

If only the Parent wants is, we may feel a heavy should, and fear in the Child may provide some motivation, but fear, though it may have its roots in life preservation, does not always produce life enhancement.

The Adult must also be involved in the want, for it is the Adult that provides the "how to".

A team up between Adult and Child is sometimes successful even if the Parent does not get what it wants.
A combination of Parent, Adult and Child, if such a configuration is possible, generally means we will get what we want.
The desire to please the Parent never leaves us. Therefore we never stop trying to accommodate the Parent.

Soul
I know my hata yoga was due to fear. The Parent in me wants to do it. But now the Child is no longer willing. But the Adult in me is finding the subtle body practice unique.

Tot of Sadhguru's Kapalvriksha; he said mind, emotion, energy, body to go together in one direction.

Parent is mind; Child is emotion; Energy is Adult and Body is outcome. Not sure.

But one thing that I am bit confused is previously he said let the Energy be the Driver. So, why now Mind become driver. A tot came in, this is the Mind after cleaning up.

Staying OK
"Vow always to be rich. Spend less." Samuel Johnson.

Soul
This is so apt. I just had to send it to Z. He may not like it but its so funny. And it is my motto.

Staying OK
Marrying someone rich may mean marrying someone selfish.

Soul
Interesting. Just wanted to share with Z. Myself, once I open up, I just open. No tots of holding back. That's me.

I just msg SL:
Aiyah, don't care lah. M happy and I msg Z. Not sure if he will reply but doesn't matter today. Tomorrow I may regret but that's tomorrow

Staying OK
An objective view of the consequences is the function of the Adult. Parent "Don't" messages feel depriving. Adult conclusions give us freedom to choose for ourselves and leave us responsible for our actions.