Thinking of Z

Sept 21

Father, I felt good. Had tots of Z today and I wanted to wish him safe trip. He deserved a good holiday after working so hard for past 2 years. But I hold back, we will see each other next time. For now, he pursues his dream and me pursuing mine. I am glad we were together previously. I have come home to myself.

Just check the Osho rship card to see if I am on right track.

1. Me - Receptivity
When u listen attentively to somebody, u forget urself. If u cannot forget urself, u never listen. U simply pretend to listen, u don't listen.

Soul
Yea, I couldn't listen and now I finally did and hence end it. Knowing he is pursuing his dreams and it doesn't include me. So, its time I let him to pursue his and for me to pursue my dream. Once I let him do his, I can do mine and it involves letting him go. This break up is very good, many times better than I expected.

The Queen of Water brings a time of un-boundedness and gratitude for whatever life brings, without any expectations or demands. Neither duty or tot of merit or reward are important. Sensitivity, intuition and compassion are the qualities that shine forth now, dissolving all the obstacles that keep us separate from each other and from the whole.


2. Him - Fighting.

Our external world, one moment it was there, another moment is gone. And for this simple movement, how much fuss we make!
How much violence, ambition, struggle, conflict, anger, hatred for this small moment!
Just like waiting for the train in a waiting room on a station, and creating so much fuss: fighting, hurting each other, trying to possess, trying to boss, trying to dominate - all that politics. And then the train comes and u r gone forever.

A smouldering rage often masks a deep feeling of pain. We think that if we frighten people away, we can avoid being hurt even more. Infact, just the opposite is the case. By covering our wounds with armor, we are preventing from being healed. By lashing out at others, we keep ourselves from getting the love and nourishment we need.
It is time to stop fighting. There is so much love available to u if u just let it in. Start by forgiving urself; u r worth it.

Soul
Exactly what I told him, it is not he is unlovable but he makes it difficult to love him.
Osho said it means he 'hate" himself and doesn't believe his lovable, so don't get involve. He focus his energy on the external world,
He is a worldly man, chasing his dream.

3. The Composite Energy - Innocence
This is a time of letting go, relaxation and sweetness. Innocence that comes from a deep experience of life is childlike but not childish. Innocence of life lived fully has a quality of wisdom and acceptance of the ever changing of life.

Soul
Yea,I went in all the way. Accepting that we both have different dreams. And it is ok for me to let go.

4. The Insight
Ripeness
When the fruit is ripe, it drops from the tree itself. One moment it hangs by a thread from the branches of the tree, bursting with juice. The next moment it falls - not because it has been forced to fall or has made an effort to jump, but because the tree has recognised its ripeness and simply let go.

Soul
Yea, I didn't plan to drop. It just happen. I was ripe. Amen.

Me, today final day at work, tomorrow is freedom from career. For Z, tomorrow going for holiday, freedom also.